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Bipolar Disorder Support Group

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Group created by arwenEvenstar

A safe refuge for those suffering with bipolar disorder or other mental illnesses. A place for support and education for bipolars, loved ones of bipolars or anyone wanting information regarding the illness. Please be sensitive. This is not a place for controversy or insensitive debate.

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  1. RileyG
    Dec 20, '12 9:10 am
    I've been diagnosed since 2010 with Panic Attacks/Unipolar depression, and by the grace of God I've been doing soooo much better, but I tend to worry about the smallest things which leads to be having a lot of anxiety. Please pray for me,
    God Bless +
  2. AlanFromWichita
    Oct 10, '12 9:49 am
    Originally Posted by dsully View Post
    Do you think I would receive some relief from these things after making a first confession to a priest?
    I don't know but it sounds like a good idea to me!

    Thread: Accusations
  3. AlanFromWichita
    Oct 10, '12 4:32 am
    Originally Posted by ashley1996 View Post
    Hi. I've been diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder and OCD for about 3 years now. Sometimes I'm happy about it, and other times I'm not. But, clearly that isn't the point. Every now and then, mostly every time I'm alone (and sometimes in front of people), I play-act or roleplay certain events in my life that happened, or didn't happen. Sometimes they're things I wished happened, wanted to happen, and wished didn't happen. Is this normal? Most of my family members think it isn't, though. Or is this part of Bipolar Disorder? If it is, can it be treated? Because I do this all the time, and it mostly involves people I know and heard of. I'm so sorry, but is there any way that I can stop this? It gets annoying sometimes when people hear me talking to myself at home. Please help me..
    There are several reasons I catch myself play-acting. I normally don't talk out loud, though, and I spend a lot of time alone so I can get my thoughts together so I don't have the problem of people hassling me about talking to myself. In fact, in my house we have a lot of music so we sometimes break out in song, either with me playing the piano or someone just feeling like letting go. This can happen many times a day.

    I do it to practice hearing what I might sound like when I tell somebody something I need to tell them. For example, if I have to tell somebody I'm not going to accept an invitation, I might "try out" saying it so that I don't get lost while I'm explaining it. Another thing, is that if you verbalize either in your head or with your mouth movements or actually out loud, it can help you focus on what you're saying and fight off some of the millions of thoughts that are racing all around my mind competing for attention. I also do it to try saying things I don't dare actually say, just to see what it feels like. Such as, "Are you always that stupid?" I have other reasons, and it's beyond me why someone would have a problem with you doing it -- unless you were annoying to them like by interfering with their TV show -- because it doesn't say anything wrong about your own mental health that you do it.

    In fact, I challenge them to say they don't ever dream, or imagine conversations that may or may not ever take place.

    Play-acting, under the term "psychodrama," used to be an important tool in mental hospitals; I'm not sure if they're still doing it. My first hospitalization for BP was in Christ hospital in 1983, where we had to do psychodrama. It is pretty powerful. It's like group play-acting on steroids.

    In psychodrama, we would all sit around in a circle; there were about 15 of us. Then one person volunteers to tell a story about his past, that they need to think about. Then one or more other patients would volunteer to play other roles in the story. Then they start having a mock conversation, and now we get full audience participation. The rest of us 15 or so still in the circle, would watch the "play" and if we had anything we thought one of the characters might say, we'd get out of the chair, put our hand on the shoulder of one of the "actors," and say the line.

    Like I said it can get pretty powerful. I actually freaked out a guy and he ran from the room -- and I went after him and helped him calm down. He had a bad childhood, and wanted to set up a conversation like one he had with his father about his goals in life. He told us a little about it, and about his brother and what was going on. One person volunteered to be his dad, so he and his "dad" started the conversation. At one point, right after he said something, I suddenly jumped up and put my hand on "dad's" shoulder and said, "yes, but how come .... " and I forgot the exact words, but essentially I gave "dad" a line that cut him right to the heart, about how his dad preferred his brother over him. So yeah, he went running out of the room and I followed him. He told me that when I said that, all of a sudden he felt like he was actually back with his dad and his dad was scolding him.

    My second and last hospitalization was in 2001, and in a different state, and they didn't do it. Wonder why not?

    And don't let the thought police cause you any anxiety. If you're honestly too loud for the others around you, either learn to do it quieter or find a more private place. Beyond that, you don't owe them any explanation for anything that isn't hurting you or them, unless your doctor tells you it is a symptom that must be controlled. Just because they think everybody thinks alike, doesn't mean they do. They don't understand your illness, so they look at anything you do that they don't do as aberrant and therefore odd.

  4. dot627
    Oct 9, '12 5:19 pm
    alan...i just wrote this long, long reply and somehow wasn't logged in and lost it!

    i so so appreciate your compassion and explanations of both yourself and your friend. it is sooo helpful. Thank God that you are still alive!!! those are the times that we know that God is there and on the scene. obviously, He lives in us, but knowing and feeling Him is a different thing.

    i am sick with bronchitis right now, but promise to rewrite my reply that i lost, but know in the meantime, that you helped me more than you can possibly know. i thank you from the bottom of my heart. dot
  5. Peanut7949
    Aug 15, '12 11:02 am
    We have to be careful with the "voices.." I actually imagine it as you're surrounded by people and we all are thinking... so you gotta make sure you're making the right decisions, not all the stuff you hear. I don't think that's only with schizophrenia though.. the better I eat organic food the better off I am at piloting. I find it best if you forget about knowing who's funnest and what not and figure out who is making it, faithful, and a good role model. Then you can aim better! Also, cod liver fish oil has done me well- organic stores!

    PS I know what you mean about if the stuff you hear/translate from voices comes true or not. I don't know. Names pop up for me Sometimes God cues you in on who to pray for... I'm behind !! But better late than never for that.. I have faith that the holy spirit helps us communicate in the silence which is a good thing. You just need a balance... Eat more organic food and wild fish. Avoid white flour and sugar alltogether... there are better alternatives such as palm sugar if you NEED. Any questions?
  6. Peanut7949
    Aug 15, '12 10:57 am
    The doctors said I almost entered into bipolarness, but I caught the real root of the problem in time. Hypothyroidism. I suggest Dr. Brownstein's book about Curing Thyroid Disorders. Bipolar is one of them-- and his stuff is simple to read. Fill in some of your void time with him Add me if you want to learn more and we'll keep in touch. I know what you mean about stuff people don't read... feels like work done without credit!! But going to the chiropractor who specializes in endocrine function really got me thinking straighter and being a better influence all around. What has worked for you? A genuine and faithful boss has helped me to balance when I scoot into the mixed state... some of it is prayer and understanding I shouldn't and don't have to please everyone, personally... what sets you off and what gets you back on track?
    Thread: Mixed State?
  7. donsnow
    Oct 23, '11 3:17 am
    Good morning, Shawn,

    I didn't know that. I guess I have a scrupulous conscience.

    You probably haven't seen my earlier posts. I was invited to this thread, although I'm not bi-polar: I have Major Depression Recurring for a diagnosis as well as Post Trauma Syndrome.

    So, thanks for correcting me.

    God loves you,
  8. donsnow
    Oct 14, '11 3:18 am
    Good morning, Ashley,

    Sometimes, when i can't stop them, I can let them just go on by. My therapist taught me that.
    Now, there's less intrusive thoughts.

    God loves you,
  9. donsnow
    Sep 24, '11 10:50 am
    Good afternoon, Emaher,

    Although I'm not bi-polar, I just dropped in to comment, maybe you could ask your doctor those questions.

    God loves you,
  10. AAArose
    Aug 20, '11 12:41 pm
    thanks for getting back to me. Its been helpful thanks. I'm very busy this school year and will hardly have time to write much. good to know there is so much support out there when I need it. I'm not good with following forums or navigating the internet.

Group Wall Messages 121 to 130 of 253
  1. kimberly923200
    Oct 28, '09 5:35 am

    Dear Everyone,

    The Mentally Ill group has been shut down my moderators for inappropriate activity between members. it was just deleted without warning. If any of you know of other members of that group, would you please let them know that Curious had nothing to do with it being shut down? Thank you so much for your help!


    PS: I knew I should have made a list of everyone.
  2. arwenEvenstar
    Oct 28, '09 3:08 am
    Curious and Timothy, is abilify and wellbutrin mood stabilizers or anti depressants? What symptoms are they for?
  3. arwenEvenstar
    Oct 28, '09 3:00 am
    To everyone:
    Has anyone here ever been on depakote? If so, did you gain a lot of weight from it? or even experience some hair loss?

    I know that weight gain is definitely a side effect of depakote since it slows your metabolism and apparently stimulates appetite. I gained tons of weight while on depakote over the years and just recently switched over to lamictal so hopefully my weight problem will improve.
    I was also on seroquel for a little while, but man did that knock me out and leave me in a stupor the next day.....not to mention the ravenous appetite i would get when i'd take a seroquel. Ugh...i hate that stuff and refuse to take it again.
    Has anyone here experience strong appetite stimulation with seroquel?
  4. arwenEvenstar
    Oct 28, '09 2:40 am
    Brigid, kimberly, thanx for the quelling my long winded-ness paranoia....i guess i've been second guessing myself for certain reasons. It's also cause, it's sometimes hard for me to distinguish between what is the "normal" me and the manic me in that beginning stage of transitioning into a hypo manic phase. Mania is a lot harder for me to recognize when it begins to set in as opposed to depression since the symptoms and pain are obvious. My depressive episodes usually set in pretty quickly and the switch is quite dramatic. That's the tricky thing about mania----it's seductive. In the hypo phase of mania, the energy, productivity and euphoria is so intoxicating and a welcomed relief from the horrible depressive symptoms that left me paralyzed.

    In the past, during strong manic episodes, i have often gone into denial that was even manic/bipolar and tended to avoid the dr. when in this mode since the illness tricked me into thinking "im normal now" and on top of the world. Delusions of grandeur have led me into trouble in the past...even to the point that i decided to get off my meds because i thought this whole bipolar thing was a hoax. Of course, when the mania went from hypo/euphoria to erradic, unfocused, incoherrant and impulsive behavior with some psychotic then became obvious i truly was manic and, then of course, going off my meds like that cold turkey would crash me into a severe depression. Ugh...I eventually learned my lesson and am pretty compliant with meds.

    The last hypo manic episode i had i was reluctant to tell my doc, but he noticed the signs and wanted to up my mood stabilizer and i found myself admitting it, but also telling him...."oh please don't take this away from me"

    Now that i'm meds, the mania doesn't usually get out of control like it used to when unmedicated.....thank god! i can't tell you how much money i've wasted in those undiagnosed days when manic. One time i even bid on a car on ebay with no money to afford it....thank god someone outbid me! For some reason, i just thought i either had the money or it would magically appear somewhere.

    Has anyone had that manic shopping spree problem when manic?
  5. kimberly923200
    Oct 27, '09 2:16 pm

    Thank you, Brigid! My Mom is bipolar, but my aunt and cousin don't know what to make of it. Also my husband's parents walk on eggshells. It's very awkward.

  6. kimberly923200
    Oct 27, '09 2:14 pm

    Dear Arwen,

    Our Mentally Ill group has been shut down by admin. May our members come over and visit until we can get up and running again?

  7. brigid12
    Oct 27, '09 12:13 pm
    Kimberly - I want you to know how much I do understand. The stigma is horrendous. Anyone not familiar with the disease has horrible ideas (seemingly from the 19th century!) about BPD. Hopefully your dr is not one of them! Your family/parents are another thing. If they're like my mother who caught her breath when slightly mentioning the possibility, that's a very rough thing.
    I am constantly forgetting to tell the dr. things he should know. I've started keeping a simplified diary/list to take to him every time I see him. It might be helpful for you - I don't know. I keep it by my 'puter since I'm here every day (job-hunting). I haven't had health insurance for the last almost two years. You can bet that when I'm having a good day/hypomanic, I'll be applying for SSDI and then Medicare/Medicaid.

    Arwen - as a writer, among other things, I love the creative bursts and feel empty/without any energy or care for anything during depressed days. Hopefully this Lamictal with some Zoloft will help. So far it seems to be changing the amount of days I'm depressed as opposed to creative and with energy.
  8. Curious
    Oct 27, '09 11:14 am

    Abillify can be extremely activating. If you couldn't sleep on Wellbutrin (not surprising since it breaks down into a similar chemical to then Abillify may not be better. But you never know, give it a whirl. Everyone's body chemistry reacts differently to different meds. Let me know how it works out...I was on it for several days and absolutely hated it.

  9. kimberly923200
    Oct 26, '09 9:03 pm

    Dear Brigid,

    I know it is not logical, what I did. Also, I only had fifteen minutes per visit to tell him everything about my illness. I would forget and then resolve to mention it next time, then forget again. Also, I was emabarrassed at the same time. It's complicated. it doesn't matter at the moment. I have lost my insurance, at least until I can get Medicare Part B and Medicaid. You know, it's the stigma that's attached to our illness. Society makes it hard for us to even be 100% honest with ourselves. I hope you understand where I'm coming from. Thank you for your loving concern.

  10. brigid12
    Oct 26, '09 8:44 pm
    Arwen - your posts are wonderful! Thank you so much! They are so descriptive and helpful. They may be more wordy than some would prefer (I'm wordy, too, so they seem fine to me),but they are so informative and caring.
    kimberly - you're paying your doc. so why not give him all the information. (I do understand, tho' - it's scary sometimes).
    Timothy - I'm glad to hear what your priest says about the depression. That's worried me.
    ADH - The other day I was with a friend that I've been careful to "put a piece of metaphorical duct tape on for" usually. She was a ways away (about 6 ft) and I was talking to this fellow nearby on the bus (nothing even vaguely flirtatious) and her face looked so surprised. Later she told me that she was surprised by how much I was talking to that man (I knew I'd never see him again, so it didn't matter how much I talked.)


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