OCD/Scrupulosity Group

How do you know you have OCD?

The Priest gives your penance for your confession, makes you SWEAR you'll do it only ONE TIME, you think you deserve SO much more, so you say. . . .
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Yeah, BUT. . . .

hahahaha I love us in our wigginess. . .

Happy Holy Thursday almost. deb

Thanks AF Catholic. My church has confession for a half an hour tonight. I have decided to confess it so that I can receive communion with a clear (possibly scrupulous) conscience. I feel that every time I talk to this person is an occasion of sin because of my lack of spiritual backbone. Thanks for the advice. Paul

Welcome desert!! Always a tough balance when to stand up and when to turn the other cheek. These gray areas are hard for OCD folks like us, believe me I know. Again my OCD caveat, I am a Layperson with OCD/scrupulosity. My confessor always tells me to receive Holy Communion unless I can swear I can commit a mortal sin. This incident certainly does not appear to me to qualify as a mortal sin, you should receive Holy Communion. I would pray for your friend, and next time you talk to him, I would stand up with love and humility, and tell him that Christ is the Lord, the Son of God, and loves your friend as much as me or you. Also he needs to know that He is the Lord whether or not your friend believes, and your friend will be judged by Him whether he believes or not.

Again welcome, and for my OCD and for yours, please consult with your priest on this matter. Get some guidance from him on how to handle routine situations like this, to help shape your conscience and make the right decisions, and to trust in His mercy when you mess up despite your best intentions. Remember that WE do not save ourselves, HE does.

God Bless
Kevin

I am new to this group. I am often guilty of despair over my lifetime of sins. I gave a good confession Saturday but now I don't think that I can receive communion today or Holy Thursday. I think that I committed a sin of omission. I was chatting to a non-Catholic friend who went off on one of his rants again about Christ not being divine but a mere prophet. I silently listened without rebuking him. By my silence, I think I committed a sin of omission and cannot worthily receive Communion without prior sacramental confession. Am I right? I just wanted to prevent an argument by turning the other cheek.

Mustang1971,

I am similar in the fact that I like to help people and have a hard time saying NO. What I have figured out (for my own life) is that by being a kind, considerate and generous people-pleaser, I was looking for acceptance. I put the responsibility on the other person to make me feel good about myself, instead of on my own shoulders where it belonged. I am not saying that I should never do anything for another, but I need to continually be aware of my motives. Does what I am doing violate my values? Do I have strings attached? Am I expecting something back? Am I doing it only because I want someone to like me?

If I continue to exist for others, I will not gain; instead, I will lose the most precious gift God has given me - myself.

It was not a confessor who said it was no sin. I did confess it too a priest who said it was wrong, and spoke about it with another who said it was sin. it was Father Vincent Serpa who said
"I have news for you: you also have a touch of obsessive compulsive behaviour which is what scruples is. You did NOT sin. I don't care how much it feels like sin. Sin is not a matter of feeling. It lies in the will. You did not will anything that is in itself evil. So let go of it."

Thing is I felt so bad about it, I gave up my Scapular of mt Carmel, and Miraculous Medal. to my Gran when she said "Touch not the unclean thing" and I tried to join her church so I wouldn’t feel guilty. she is Pentecostal. And they don’t use Holy Water, Lourdes Water

But its also because of her I am the way I am. without meaning too, she turned God into a horrible punishing malicious being. she told me how a woman with her child had been killed in a car crash for leaving the church.

When I was young she told me my mom was sick because I was a catholic, that praying for the dead is an abomination to god, and she taught by the old testament with fear, not love.

I was given an exorcism, because I was hyper by her, and I believed God wanted me to suffer. my mom was sick all her life and I was to blame.

However, I had once met Satan In a dream when I was 7 years old. He took me by the hand and showed me what he could offer me in life. I saw myself as a famous rock star, film star, you name it, he guided me through a funfair, was dressed in a strange manner, like a lawyer with his hair gelled back, trying to look slick and approachable to a child.

However there in the distance I saw Jesus sitting on a rock, I knew who he was, Satan tried to distract me but I walked to him and said “What do you offer me lord?” to this he just smiled and said “Nothing” Satan laughed until I said “I choose you Jesus”

Since that day my heart has always known Jesus in a way I can’t describe. I can’t run away from him because He is everywhere, I can’t say I don’t believe in him, because I know it’s not true, the only thing I have never felt is Doubt that God exists.

The reason we suffer most is because out way of coping with OCD is by using the most effective way of distracting our minds, Porn, spending, eating ect. And turning away from the things that make us focus on the fear like Praying.

The reason I am afraid of Mary is because Saint Bonaventure said “Whoever neglects our lady would perish in there sins and be damned” and that makes no sense since if I am praying a (Hail Mary) to save a soul that has neglected Our Lady, then this sentence is actually saying that “It is useless to pray for anyone who dose not pray the rosary, even though the point of the rosary is to pray for those who have neglected it”

Its like the Brown Scapular, people say “How can a sinner wear a scapular, sin all there life and then escape the fires of hell by Mary’s promise” is the equivalent of saying “the Hail Mary’s you pray wont save a sinner who is wearing a Brown Scapular” of course they will or what’s the point?

A lot of the previous post got me thinking about balance in our lives. I think we run into problems when we go to extremes one way or another. I personally went from one extreme to the other. For a long time I felt like I could never say no. I always needed to help out if someone asked me. I ran myself into the ground numerous times. I ate poorly, skipped meals, did not get enough sleep, didn't pray enough, neglected important items in my personal life. All that did was burn me out and I went through a phase were I did not want to really help anyone, I felt like everyone just wanted something from me. I was very unhappy.

I have been working on finding a balance between my needs and the needs of others. I have been trying to get proper sleep and leave some time for myself to pray, relax and take care of my important business. I have found, I am happier and really willing to be there for others with a good attitude! I know some people are capable of completely emptying themselves for others, it just does not seem to be a skill I have.

I guess we all have our strong points and our weak points and that is the beauty of life. If we all work together with God's help we can do amazing things! Where I am weak, another is strong. Where someone else is weak, maybe I am strong! I think we all need to remember that God made each and everyone us with a unique set of skills and talents. We fill a unique spot in God's plan, and without us, there is nobody to take our place!

I have found this to be true here in this group. There have been so many great ideas and suggestions. We all seem to bring a different way to handle our conditions. I have seen a lot of myself in others and I have found a lot of help from others here. It has been very helpful to know that i am not alone and that others face similar challenges. Helping others here has really helped myself also! Thanks everyone! Heres to our continued support of each other!

During the last few days of Lent, lets keep our focus on our Lord and try not to focus on ourselves. God Bless!

-Mark

Kevin, I agree, I like our group, a lot of great advice here! Also thanks for the support! Genevieve II, I totally agree with you on going to war with our brains, that usually backfires!

taye, great point, about how we talk to ourselves. I think we need to remember that we need to love ourselves first, how can we love others if we can not love ourselves. I don't mean in a selfish way, but we need to make sure that we are healthy and balanced. ocdcath, great post on forgiveness, I think that is probably one of the hardest things for most of us to do. I know I always fell like I need to be perfect and I should never make mistakes and if I do, then I beat myself up.

-Mark

I love our group!!!!!!!!!!! God Bless you all this Holy week, and remember WE do not save us....HE does.

Kevin

Hi everyone!
This past week, I've been working so hard to push away all the negative self-talk in my head. I tend to be so hard on myself that even other people mention it to me... My therapist has told me that I must replace the words "always" and "never" with more positive words (like "most of the time" or "always"). In lots of ways, I'm my own worst enemy. If I wouldn't speak to my friends like this, why would I speak this way to myself?

On another note, I found the following quote from St Benedict which has really put my mind at ease.

It is only we who brood over our sins. God does not brood over them. God dumps them at the bottom of the sea.

I hope each of you has a happy Holy Week!