People Pleasing, its time to stand up for YOU.

I think we just have to figure a nice, polite way to say no. I have learned that we don't have to give an explanation, just say, "I'm sorry I can't" A lot of people will just respect that. There are still some who won't. Do you think that if we think of a recurring situation that bothers us when we say Ok, we might benefit from rehearsing our response in one situation at a time?

I know that I must not do the wrong thing to be true to my faith so if people impose themselves on me they know I will not be mean to them etc so sometimes they just ignore my wishes knowing that they will get what they want . Find this really difficult to handle . Lately my prayers seems to be saying - yes you will just have to suffer !

Hello Everyone! I joined a bit ago and have not posted. Glad to see this group is around! I have been fighting Scrupulosity for a bit now, so my problem is in trying to find the right balance. A lot of times I have a hard time saying no, because I feel like it would be a sin or I would not be showing gratitude for the gifts I have been given. So as a result I tend to run myself down and just get burned out.

Hecares - I seem to go through that myself. I know that I should be concerned about pleasing the Lord, and worrying about my self being. However... I hear things and how we should put others first. So I think I get all confused, and try to do more than I should... or maybe even the wrong things. 3DOCTORS put it nicely...but then some how my mind still distorts it. I don't know... I seem to be running in circles.

3DOCTORS - I was asked by my parents if I wanted to go to breakfast this morning... I know thinking rationally they wouldn't be mad.. but sometimes my irrational thinking that they will be sad or mad still happens... However, this morning I thought that for my health I shouldn't go... I thought back to what you do and politely say no thanks. Just wanted you to know that you sharing has given me some strength in my journey

Blessed Easter season to all. Let's rejoice in our Risen Christ Jesus Our Lord!

Remember, it is He Whom we must please, and so we please others with prayer, wisdom and discernment when we aren't sure how to respond in a given situation.

We know that Jesus could respond with great compassion and gentleness to, for instance, the woman caught in adultery - in order to lead her to salvation. He could also drive the moneychangers out of the Temple if that was what was needed - not "enabling" them to defile His Father's house. Or He could calmly stand up to the High Priest or to Pontius Pilate and sometimes without a single word not let them force Him to play their manipulative games.

We must pray that we likewise know in our daily lives which approach to take, to do the best we can. We won't be perfect but we'll be able to feel thankful that we had the grace to try. And if we make mistakes we'll be able to learn from them (I struggle with this - I yell at myself for failures even though I know better!).

I ask for your continued prayers as I meet the challenges in my own journey. New situations seem to arise daily, if not hourly. Know what I mean?

I'll pray for you, too!

I think sometimes people-pleasing is an attempt to gain approval when disapproval is common in life. To that end, I try to remember that I only have to please God and myself. However, with all the lessons in the Bible about putting others first ,losing self to better take care of the needs of others, being the servant of others, I often feel guilty when I don't try to please others first.

Hi trin40 you are in my prayers. I have a fear of failure, and my Dad also gets upset easily. I think he has a short temper. On easter, I felt like no matter what I did I was wrong. Do you think this could be a reason for people pleasing? That I feel not good enough so in that I try to please everyone. (unfortunately I have the same temper and it annoys the bageebers out of me, I want to have peace of mind... I don't want to have children and they grow up to be people pleasers )

I also think growing up my Dad would get upset very easily . If he was happy then everything was okay in the family. I think I got used to doing that . My misplaced thinking is If people are happy, then what I am doing is right. Really trying to be more concious of my desision making and not get too distressed when I see people unhappy with my choices . Please pray for me.

I agree that sometimes its easier just to please people. But in the end, its not worth it. I feel like deep inside I know what is right, but then I either am pursuaded by others or by myself. Not sure if others have that problem. I find it contributes to my people pleasing.

I tend to think of myself as a victim as a people pleaser . In my prayer time at the mo I am thinking that maybe a do it cos approval from people is often the easy option rather than doing the right thing. Not sure 100% what I mean by this but will let you know if I get more insights