[Joan M]

I am married and a member of Opus Dei (Supernumerary member, like all married members). My husband is not a member, but he is a Cooperator (not a member, but attends recollections and sometimes retreats).

Let me try to answer your questions -

1. How much control of your life does Opus Dei have if you are a married couple with children? Answer - none. Opus Dei does not attempt to control anyone's life.

2. Are you required to give a certain amount of your money to Opus Dei or is it that you are to give as much as *you* feel you can? Answer - we are expected to contribute. The amount would be whatever we feel we can. I give a specific amount each month, but sometimes more - e.g. when I received a bonus at work I gave a part of my bonus to the Center I go to.

3. How often do you meet with other members and what do you do? Answer - I attend a "circle" three times a month. Circles are a group of members (probably about 10 - 15). One of the Numerary members (one of the members who lives in a Center and are not married) leads the circle. The purpose of the circle is for formation - at each circle we will hear a talk on one of our norms (the different devotions we follow, as part of a plan of life). There will also be other talks.

Once per year we are urged to do a retreat - usually a 3 day one. These are silent retreats and are very spiritually uplifting.

We are also expected to attend a monthly recollection - a morning or evening, with the rosary, a meditation given by a priest (in the Oratory), listen to an examination of conscience based on the meditation, and a talk by one of the members (in one of the reception rooms of the center).

Members also do a one week workshop annually - this is usually a Theological workshop, but other subjects are also covered. I did this year's workshop in Venezuela last month.

The OP questions why her husband was not allowed to join the retreat that the members he was with had. Well, the answer is simply because he was not a member. Retreats for members go deeper into spirituality and doctrine than retreats that are open to anyone (although these are good, too).

The formation of members is quite deep and continues for life. Someone who is not a member, and, particularly, someone who was, at that time, preparing to become a Catholic, might be out of their depth.

If God is calling you to Opus Dei, He will let you know, but the best thing is to start going to monthly recollections (you to a women's center and your husband to a men's center) and see where it goes from there.

I started going to recollections in 1998, became a cooperator in 1999 and asked to become a member in 2000.

About the average age on members - I live in Trinidad, West Indies and I am 66 years old. In my circle, I believe I am the oldest member. There are at least 2 others in their 60's; about 3 in their 50's; perhaps 5 or 6 in their 40's; 4 or 5 in their 30's.

Another circle that is held at the same time and day or the week as ours, and sometimes both circles meet as one (when one or the other leader is away, or something). That circle has mostly members in their 20's; 30's and 40's.

Opus Dei is a worldwide family and the warmth, in the center that I frequent and outside, is wonderful.