When does "checking out" women become lust?

[SeekingHeaven]

I am a young adult with strong urges and feelings and struggle greatly with sexual feelings. First of all, is it wrong to have sexual feelings towards someone you find attractive? Secondly, at what point does 'checking out' a woman become lust? Is there a 3 second rule of some sort, the things you imagine doing with her, occasion of sin, or something else that makes it lust? Let's be honest, a person at my age is obviously not thinking of marriage and when one looks at another who one finds attractive they aren't exactly thinking about slipping a ring on her finger just yet, but rather looking at the very physical aspect, which may even be a first step for marriage to even be possible in the future?. If it weren't for lust, or at least this very basic physical arousal, would the human race continue to exist as it does? I'm confused, any thoughts or opinions would be appreciated!

[Ron Conte]

Lust occurs when a person consents in their mind and heart to illicit sexual acts, such that, if they had the opportunity, they would commit the acts themselves. Lust is not mere attraction to the opposite sex, nor is it merely a general desire to have sex at some point in the future within the bounds of marriage. Also, even impure sexual thoughts are not necessarily lust. Usually, sinful sexual thoughts are venial because there is no intention or willingness to actually commit the illicit acts.

[SeekingHeaven]

Originally Posted by Ron Conte

Lust occurs when a person consents in their mind and heart to illicit sexual acts, such that, if they had the opportunity, they would commit the acts themselves. Lust is not mere attraction to the opposite sex, nor is it merely a general desire to have sex at some point in the future within the bounds of marriage. Also, even impure sexual thoughts are not necessarily lust. Usually, sinful sexual thoughts are venial because there is no intention or willingness to actually commit the illicit acts.

Doesn't Jesus say that a man who has thought lustfully about a woman has already committed adultery within his heart?

[po18guy]

Originally Posted by SeekingHeaven

Doesn't Jesus say that a man who has thought lustfully about a woman has already committed adultery within his heart?

Matthew 5:28
But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.

We also want to avoid the near occasions of sin - situations which can lead us to sin. I suggest that you look at their eyes. If you cannot see a woman's eyes, it is better not to concentrate on her. OK, her face. More than that, you are asking for trouble.

[Bookcat]

Originally Posted by Ron Conte

Lust occurs when a person consents in their mind and heart to illicit sexual acts, such that, if they had the opportunity, they would commit the acts themselves. Lust is not mere attraction to the opposite sex, nor is it merely a general desire to have sex at some point in the future within the bounds of marriage. Also, even impure sexual thoughts are not necessarily lust. Usually, sinful sexual thoughts are venial because there is no intention or willingness to actually commit the illicit acts.

Lustful thoughts are not venial sin. They are grave matter for mortal sin-- one does not need the intention or willingness to actually commit the acts --one has only to have the thoughts with full knowledge and full consent. That would be a mortal sin.

[LeroyCRHP]

Are you Catholic? That would help in my answer.

Originally Posted by SeekingHeaven

I am a young adult with strong urges and feelings and struggle greatly with sexual feelings. First of all, is it wrong to have sexual feelings towards someone you find attractive? Secondly, at what point does 'checking out' a woman become lust? Is there a 3 second rule of some sort, the things you imagine doing with her, occasion of sin, or something else that makes it lust? Let's be honest, a person at my age is obviously not thinking of marriage and when one looks at another who one finds attractive they aren't exactly thinking about slipping a ring on her finger just yet, but rather looking at the very physical aspect, which may even be a first step for marriage to even be possible in the future?. If it weren't for lust, or at least this very basic physical arousal, would the human race continue to exist as it does? I'm confused, any thoughts or opinions would be appreciated!

[Randy Carson]

Originally Posted by SeekingHeaven

I am a young adult with strong urges and feelings and struggle greatly with sexual feelings. First of all, is it wrong to have sexual feelings towards someone you find attractive? Secondly, at what point does 'checking out' a woman become lust? Is there a 3 second rule of some sort, the things you imagine doing with her, occasion of sin, or something else that makes it lust? Let's be honest, a person at my age is obviously not thinking of marriage and when one looks at another who one finds attractive they aren't exactly thinking about slipping a ring on her finger just yet, but rather looking at the very physical aspect, which may even be a first step for marriage to even be possible in the future?. If it weren't for lust, or at least this very basic physical arousal, would the human race continue to exist as it does? I'm confused, any thoughts or opinions would be appreciated!

On Looking at Girls
By Jimmy Akin
http://www.jimmyakin.org/2009/01/appreciating-beauty-vs-concupiscence.html

[Chris LaRock]

Originally Posted by SeekingHeaven

I am a young adult with strong urges and feelings and struggle greatly with sexual feelings. First of all, is it wrong to have sexual feelings towards someone you find attractive? Secondly, at what point does 'checking out' a woman become lust? Is there a 3 second rule of some sort, the things you imagine doing with her, occasion of sin, or something else that makes it lust? Let's be honest, a person at my age is obviously not thinking of marriage and when one looks at another who one finds attractive they aren't exactly thinking about slipping a ring on her finger just yet, but rather looking at the very physical aspect, which may even be a first step for marriage to even be possible in the future?. If it weren't for lust, or at least this very basic physical arousal, would the human race continue to exist as it does? I'm confused, any thoughts or opinions would be appreciated!

Desiring someone sexually is lust. The first step we take in doing this is "checking out" girls/women. I try not to do either.

[fbl9]

Originally Posted by Chris LaRock

Desiring someone sexually is lust. The first step we take in doing this is "checking out" girls/women. I try not to do either.

And what do you do if you find yourself "checking"out a woman??

[Chris LaRock]

Originally Posted by fbl9

And what do you do if you find yourself "checking"out a woman??

I stop, take my thoughts captive, and simply try to control myself.

[Randy Carson]

Originally Posted by Chris LaRock

I stop, take my thoughts captive, and simply try to control myself.

Is there a difference between appreciating beauty and lusting?

Is it possible to say, "Wow, she is very beautiful" without engaging in thoughts of being in bed with her?

Of course, your mileage may vary...

[Chris LaRock]

Originally Posted by Randy Carson

Is there a difference between appreciating beauty and lusting?

Is it possible to say, "Wow, she is very beautiful" without engaging in thoughts of being in bed with her?

Of course, your mileage may vary...

Admiring beauty usually is followed by wanting to engage in sexual acts. Same is true if you smell food. First thought: That smells good! Second thought: I'd like to eat some of that.

[Randy Carson]

Originally Posted by Chris LaRock

Admiring beauty usually is followed by wanting to engage in sexual acts. Same is true if you smell food. First thought: That smells good! Second thought: I'd like to eat some of that.

A person who is on a restricted diet would enjoy the aroma but would not eat the food.

Since I got married, I have restricted my diet in more ways than one.

[Chris LaRock]

Originally Posted by Randy Carson

A person who is on a restricted diet would enjoy the aroma but would not eat the food.

Since I got married, I have restricted my diet in more ways than one.

I can only speak for myself, but I think that allowing yourself to 'admire beauty' only puts yourself into a position where you can be tempted to do more than that.

Ever see a cloud floating overhead that slightly resembles the female form and been tempted to have sinful thoughts? Just wondering if this is normal.

[barny]

Originally Posted by Randy Carson

A person who is on a restricted diet would enjoy the aroma but would not eat the food.

Since I got married, I have restricted my diet in more ways than one.

In which case,......I must be Anorexic