Is it wrong to tell people of my intentions to be a Nun?

auderyja · #1 Jul 20, '11, 10:15 pm

When my dad found out that I told other people about my intentions to become a religious sister, he was disappointed with me.

My dad thinks that if, for some reason, I am not accepted into the religious congregation, I will be humiliated. He said, "What would people think if they found out that you were not accepted as a religious sister?"

A sister once told, "No on is 100% sure of their vocation. If you don't try, you will never find out."

I am not worried about humiliation. Let God's will be done.

Scout · #2 Jul 20, '11, 10:57 pm

Is your father supportive of your desire to enter the religious life? Perhaps I'm being cynical, but it sounds like, from that comment, that he's more concerned about being humiliated himself because his daughter wasn't excepted into a religious community. That's just my opinion, though, and I may be totally off on that.

So no, I don't think it's wrong to tell people you wish to enter religious life. God has put this desire in your heart. It's a beautiful gift and it's right that you want to share it with others. I'd be more concerned if you didn't want anyone knowing.

So if you decide to tell others, those people will be able to pray that you find the right community and that God reveals His desired vocation for you.

Just remember to pray that God's will be done.

Scout

auderyja · #3 Jul 20, '11, 11:05 pm

Quote:

Originally Posted by Scout

Is your father supportive of your desire to enter the religious life? Perhaps I'm being cynical, but it sounds like, from that comment, that he's more concerned about being humiliated himself because his daughter wasn't excepted into a religious community. That's just my opinion, though, and I may be totally off on that.

So no, I don't think it's wrong to tell people you wish to enter religious life. God has put this desire in your heart. It's a beautiful gift and it's right that you want to share it with others. I'd be more concerned if you didn't want anyone knowing.

So if you decide to tell others, those people will be able to pray that you find the right community and that God reveals His desired vocation for you.

Just remember to pray that God's will be done.

Scout

Thank you for your helpful reply. My father probably doesn't know what to make of my decision. He may be able to accept it if other people's daughter want to enter the religious life, and a different story when yours want to become a nun.

God bless you

CatholicZ09 · #4 Jul 20, '11, 11:19 pm

I say no. I'm not really up front with telling people about my vocation to the priesthood. Most of the time I don't need to tell anyone; they can just "see" it.

Be proud of your vocation! God called you to it; why shouldn't you be?

odhiambo · #5 Jul 21, '11, 12:30 am

Telling people about your intentions to be a Nun may or may not be wrong, it all depends on your reason for doing so.

karoleck · #6 Jul 21, '11, 1:26 am

Quote:

Originally Posted by auderyja

When my dad found out that I told other people about my intentions to become a religious sister, he was disappointed with me.

My dad thinks that if, for some reason, I am not accepted into the religious congregation, I will be humiliated. He said, "What would people think if they found out that you were not accepted as a religious sister?"

A sister once told, "No one is 100% sure of their vocation. If you don't try, you will never find out."

I am not worried about humiliation. Let God's will be done.

God bless you in your intentions to become a religious sister;do you wish to be a Nun or a Religious Sister?(there is a big difference ,as you know, a Nun lives in an enclosed community; where as a Sister has an apostolate in the world ,in addition to the contemplative dimention--I just give this information for those who do not know the difference)

I do not know you, so I can only reply in general terms,for all I know you might have an extroverted type of personality.Regardless of your personality,I would agree with catholicZ09 that it is not wrong to tell people about your intention to enter the Religious Life---a wonderful grace you have received.

But that does not mean that your father is wrong, in the advise that he gives you either!! I am sure that he will support and stick by you ,even if things turn out differently in your quest to do God's Will in your life.

There is such a thing as the virtue of prudence,knowing when to speak and when to keep silence.A vocation that you are called to imitates that of the life of Our Lady.So I think that CatholicZ09 approach of actions, rather than words does have a true ring about it,as the scripture goes "no speech,no sound .no voice is heard,yet their span extends to all the earth".Our Lady kept all these thing in her heart,She never told her friends that She will be the mother of Jesus;so it was in the hidden life that all was revealed and the religious life is a hidden mystery of the interior life

I remember meeting a young man who told me that he was going to join a religious congregation suited to his gifts.(well I hope his present wife & kids appreciate them!

It does sometime happen ,that those who talk about joining the "nunnery" never do.I would suggest that you seek advise from your vocations' director ,as to the best prudential way towards your goal.

By all means tell your close friends of your plans,as they might tell you of the twelve children they hope to have, when married to Brad Pitts' richer young brother!

They will know you were serious about it ;when you are accepted and are living in a convent or enclosure!

There are two persons involved in your vocation,you receive the call and God(through the religious superior) accepts your generous offering--usually through a discernmernt process until accepted into The Noviciate,when the religious life starts.

grasscutter · #7 Jul 21, '11, 5:30 pm

I think that it's normal and expected that we want to share with others what is important to us. As far as I can see, you've done nothing wrong. If you end up not being a religious, it will simply be because it wasn't the vocation God intended for you. Not like a failure or something.

Anyway, I will keep you in my prayers. God bless you!

debraran · #8 Jul 21, '11, 5:40 pm

Could it be your Dad has ambivalent feelings or think nuns are "perfect" Maybe he thinks if you didn't go anywhere, others will feel you had this 'deep dark secret".

I will pray for you too, it's not an embarassement not to get accepted or even find a rignt fit, God knows your path and you will find it also.

Melchior_ · #9 Jul 21, '11, 7:26 pm

I've been very open about my vocation to a secular order, including writing a lengthy public post on Facebook about my discernment journey.

But I'm a married layman, so maybe it's different for me.

auderyja · #10 Jul 25, '11, 8:18 am

Quote:

Originally Posted by karoleck

God bless you in your intentions to become a religious sister;do you wish to be a Nun or a Religious Sister?(there is a big difference ,as you know, a Nun lives in an enclosed community; where as a Sister has an apostolate in the world ,in addition to the contemplative dimention--I just give this information for those who do not know the difference)

Is there really a difference between religious sister and nun? I thought the difference lies in the "contemplative" and "semi-contemplative" ones. However, regardless of whether they are contemplative or semi-contemplative, they are still called sisters. Anyway, I am going for the Daughters of St Paul, they are a congregation of semi-contemplative sisters.

Thank you for your reply. God bless.

auderyja · #11 Jul 25, '11, 8:20 am

Thank you for all your helpful replies.

However, I do not tell EVERYONE I meet that I have the intention to become a religious sister. I only tell those that matter to me. This vocation thing is not a public parade for me.

karoleck · #12 Jul 25, '11, 11:08 pm

Quote:

Originally Posted by auderyja

Thank you for all your helpful replies.

However, I do not tell EVERYONE I meet that I have the intention to become a religious sister. I only tell those that matter to me. This vocation thing is not a public parade for me.

You are on the right boat here.I guess you left yourself open to a broader interpretation ,by asking "is it wrong to tell people rather than "those that matter to me".I think that the danger of references that a poster made is wise advise.

The other reason for not telling "people", is that there are some ---------------------------------
who do the devils work;saying things like "maybe you should try lay missionary work, to see if you are suited to be a Sister" or "you should go out in the world more";or "are you certain you do not want children"and even "what would happen if you failed in this quest and be open to ridicule" etc.

Sister Helena is right about parents sometimes being over protective towards their grown children. At least your father is not opposed to your vocation;he just cares that your feelings might be crushed ; you are stronger than that and the people that matter to you, would not turn against you should your vocation be discerned in a different direction.As the saying goes "God does not need our success;just the generous effort to try to please Him" All for the greater glory of God

God's Blessing on your calling to be a religious;I think that your question will help others who experience similar reaction from their parents(a lot of mums want grandchildren!!

)
Some times a "logical" reason might mask--
a real reason.

Father La Fleur · #13 Jul 28, '11, 7:40 pm

Audry,

If that is your name, obviously you love your Father and he loves you. I recommend you ask him what his expectations are for you, how he sees you, how he imagined you. By doing so, you will understand his dissapointment that obviously dissapoints you. Then ask him if he wants you to do God's will or his, and will he help you discern God's will. Does he want you to be happy and do what your are passionate about?to truly follow your heart in the Truth? or just do something to please him, or anyone besides God?

No, I think he loves you and is just pouting a little because he may be asked to sacrifice his Daughter for Jesus. This is normal and natural, even with the holiest of parents. Will he refuse if Jesus asks for his Daughter?No, I think not, but it hurts. This will help you discern and appreciate his sacrifice as well as find joy in your own sacrifice, you see?You can say like Mother Teresa to parents who told her to stop taking their Daughters away from them: Look, you have to give your Daughters away anyhow, they will leave home for a spouse one way or another, would you not rather they belong to Jesus, the Divine Spouse, if He wants them all to Himself? In other words, if this vocation does not come from God, it will go away on its own and change into something else, but if it does, you can not stop it, you may find yourself at war with God.

It is always alright to tell those we love and trust about our intentions, along as we are ready to hear whatever they have to say and take time to listen to what they mean. You love and trust your Father. Listen to him and see exactly why he is dissapointed. By doing so, you are a witness and you help yourself and the whole family, you become a sign, that it is all worth it for Jesus.

None of my Brothers or Sisters, (I am the youngest of nine), embraced my telling of my intention to become a Priest, except the one I expected not to- a Brother who calls himself atheist, but wanted me to be happy. He encouraged more than the others who say they believe, but were dissapointed-these said I should become an Anglican Priest, or a Priest of another Rite at least so I could marry, or a Youth Minister or Counsellor or Teacher, isn't that enough? We'll never see you again! You know how rough a Priest's life is? they said. No half-way with Jesus, all or nothing, when it comes to following your desire. The thought of half-measures only spur you to give more, when you consider compromises with your vocation that make it less scary or painful for your imagination. He gave Himself 100% for me, I do for Him. Nothing less for Him.

We must pay Jesus in the same currency as He paid the price for us. No cheapie charity with Love. My Father would of been proud,(He passed away when I was seven and wanted to be a Priest but was discouraged from doing so for un unjustifiable reason), and my Mother was proud of me.(she passed away a few months ago) Even if my parents had not blessed my vocation, I'm sure the Lord would of given me the strength to persevere and I would of understood. It is a great sacrifice because the honor is even greater, for the sake of the greatest love.

Fr. Dominic

auderyja · #14 Jul 28, '11, 10:47 pm

Quote:

. Either way by telling people, you are planting seeds of faith in people which will bear fruit one day whether they know it or not.

- Yes, that is very true!

Quote:

Like I said be careful and have a thick skin and be ready for a friend or two to say things that you didn't realise that they felt.

- Thank you for your advice.

Quote:

By doing so, you are a witness and you help yourself and the whole family, you become a sign, that it is all worth it for Jesus.

We must pay Jesus in the same currency as He paid the price for us. No cheapie charity with Love. My Father would of been proud,(He passed away when I was seven and wanted to be a Priest but was discouraged from doing so for un unjustifiable reason), and my Mother was proud of me.(she passed away a few months ago) Even if my parents had not blessed my vocation, I'm sure the Lord would of given me the strength to persevere and I would of understood. It is a great sacrifice because the honor is even greater, for the sake of the greatest love.

- Exactly. You've hit the bullseye, Fr Dominic!

karoleck · #15 Jul 29, '11, 3:24 am

Quote:

Originally Posted by auderyja

- Yes, that is very true!

- Thank you for your advice.

- Exactly. You've hit the bullseye, Fr Dominic!

Your question would have been valuable, just to have got such a great reply from Fr.La Fleur! What a wonderful spiritual insight he has give us all to ponder and pray about!

I have been thinking about your question and some thoughts have come to me. When I grew up, the college that I attended, had a boarding school ,as well as teaching day pupils.In the last year at college, all the young men who felt called to the priesthood ,lived in a house by themselves within the same campus.But that was in the "age of faith" where a call to the priestly or religious life was valued and nurtured.So there was not a problem, as regards telling their fellow students ,what they stood for.

Times have changed in the western world ,for the worst(in most places) and I would say that the biggest opposition to a person wanting to follow a priestly or a religious vocation(like yourself) would be at a "catholic"educational institute!;It is not a 'cool' thing to do,as far as the world is concerned ,though I know there are rare exceptions-------------------------------------
of educational institues that are run by orthodox catholics or faithful teaching orders.I was under the impression that a lot of recent vocations, came through home schooling families.

St.Don Bosco is reported to have stated that one in three young catholics have a call to the priestly or religious life(some both).But as Our Lord in the scriptures says "many are called,few are chosen."

Now this gets back to your question--the call to follow Jesus ,in the age of faith and telling "those who should know"should be as natural as breathing.But this is unfortunately a secular age,even within catholic circles it has penetrated;so I would caution a certain prudential silence in your discernment.

I know that some posters have said that they survived these attacks on their road to the priesthood, by opening telling people that they wanted to be Priests/Nuns or Sisters in their schooling years;but I would suggest that many did not !

Remember that person who found "a treasure in the field" and how that person "sold everything" in order to purchase it--"a pearl of great price".That person would not have told a soul until "the treasure in the field" was purchased;just in case an enemy might come and steal that treasure."The pearl of great price" is a vocation to follow in Christ's footsteps and we all know who the "enemy" is.