How can I discern my vocation?

[sparrowhawk28]

I'm 20. I know I'm young, but lately I've been feeling lost and unsure as to what I should be doing with my life. I love God a great deal, but don't really feel Him very often or hear Him clearly. As a result, I sometimes feel like I'm living in a daze or like I'm doing things all wrong.

I do want to get married one day, but I don't know if that's what God wants. Is there any way I could become more aware of what God is calling me to do? Or should I just wait for Him to speak to me? I'm patient, but I do worry that my vocation will never come, or that if it does come I won't recognise it.

May God bless you.

[bobballen_18]

Hey Sparrow,

You don't mention how much, if any, you're doing to get to know God better.

One thing to do, I suppose, would be wait for God to reveal His will for your life to you, but you should not just sit around and expect Him to tell you. Prayer is always an answer! I recommend prayer every day, perhaps a Rosary or a decade at least per day. Also, try to show your love for God by spending time with Him either in front of the Blessed Sacrament or in Eucharistic Adoration, if it's available at your parish. This should be a huge blessing in your life! These are some of the best things to do to get to know God better. The better you know God and the better your relationship to him, the more likely you will be able to hear Him - learn to recognize the way that He speaks to you. The only way to do this is to spend time with Him.

Everyone does some things wrong, so don't feel bad about that. That is what the Sacrament of Reconciliation is for!

Overall, prayer is the answer, and pray every day to know God's will for your life, but don't obsess over it. Take a day at a time. I recommend praying 3 Hail Marys every day to know and accept your vocation.

Hope this helps some! God bless!

[Catholic1954]

A wise and holy spiritual director can help you sort this out and discern more clearly what God wants of you in this life. Call your parish priest and ask if he is available, and if he is not ask him to recommend someone for you.

[sparrowhawk28]

Originally Posted by bobballen_18

Hey Sparrow,

You don't mention how much, if any, you're doing to get to know God better.

One thing to do, I suppose, would be wait for God to reveal His will for your life to you, but you should not just sit around and expect Him to tell you. Prayer is always an answer! I recommend prayer every day, perhaps a Rosary or a decade at least per day. Also, try to show your love for God by spending time with Him either in front of the Blessed Sacrament or in Eucharistic Adoration, if it's available at your parish. This should be a huge blessing in your life! These are some of the best things to do to get to know God better. The better you know God and the better your relationship to him, the more likely you will be able to hear Him - learn to recognize the way that He speaks to you. The only way to do this is to spend time with Him.

Everyone does some things wrong, so don't feel bad about that. That is what the Sacrament of Reconciliation is for!

Overall, prayer is the answer, and pray every day to know God's will for your life, but don't obsess over it. Take a day at a time. I recommend praying 3 Hail Marys every day to know and accept your vocation.

Hope this helps some! God bless!

Thanks for your reply, very helpful!

To be honest, I'm probably not doing enough to get to know God better. I began study in Catholic theology last year, and that really helped me understand my faith and religion more. I pray every day, but that's only really at mealtimes. I can see that it's up to me to make the effort
...This might sound awful, but I never know how to pray when I'm in front of the Blessed Sacrament. I mean, I know it's amazing - it's Jesus before me - but I always find myself getting distracted by thoughts or struggling to stay on track with prayer. And as a result, I don't pray in front of the Blessed Sacrament very often.

I feel God quite strongly when I am surrounded by nature, so I'm trying harder to do that more. I think making the effort to pray more will help me

Originally Posted by Catholic1954

A wise and holy spiritual director can help you sort this out and discern more clearly what God wants of you in this life. Call your parish priest and ask if he is available, and if he is not ask him to recommend someone for you.

Thanks for your reply
That sounds like a good idea; I'll chase it up.

[TiggerS]

Originally Posted by sparrowhawk28

Originally Posted by Catholic1954
A wise and holy spiritual director can help you sort this out and discern more clearly what God wants of you in this life. Call your parish priest and ask if he is available, and if he is not ask him to recommend someone for you.

Thanks for your reply
That sounds like a good idea; I'll chase it up.

A wise move and the best of moves!

[Kateri_5814]

You're definitely not too young to be discerning your vocation! This is exactly when you should be praying about where God is leading you. I am 21 and am being very strongly called to religious life. I've gained a lot of knowledge about discernment over the past couple of years.

Firstly, I absolutely second the suggestion to get a spiritual director. You really can't discern by yourself and it's much easier with someone else to guide you. I've also found St Ignatius's writings about discernment very helpful - he's kind of an expert on the topic.

Hope that helps!

[sparrowhawk28]

Originally Posted by Kateri_5814

You're definitely not too young to be discerning your vocation! This is exactly when you should be praying about where God is leading you. I am 21 and am being very strongly called to religious life. I've gained a lot of knowledge about discernment over the past couple of years.

Firstly, I absolutely second the suggestion to get a spiritual director. You really can't discern by yourself and it's much easier with someone else to guide you. I've also found St Ignatius's writings about discernment very helpful - he's kind of an expert on the topic.

Hope that helps!

Thank you =)

Did you discern your vocation through getting a spiritual director? I've considered going to a retreat directed at religious vocation to see if I get anything out of it.

Usually I feel most called to family life. But then I experience such strong feelings of spiritual peace, and it confuses me a bit. I think I will try talking to a priest and see what they recommend, and I'll definitely check out St. Ignatius' writings.

[E_7]

I didn't have to discern my vocation, I just knew.
I felt "the calling". I just knew that my vocation is marriage!
He will let you know somehow, you'll feel it and you'll know.

I was a person who didn't want to get married and be a nun but, I didn't felt the vocation to be a nun, I didn't felt God calling me and saying "here is where I want you".
Two years ago, I was taking my last course of theology (I took three, total) and it was there when I realized that this is what God has for me : to get married. I knew it and accept it. Since then, I'm reading from here and there, learning and mentally prepare myself for courtship. Now, what I believe what's left is to graduate from college and get a job.

I'm always making plans, I think too much of the future...

Seek a Spiritual Director and talk to him about it. But I believe that you'll know His calling, someday. God has a plan for you, pray that you'll open your heart to listen.

[TiggerS]

Originally Posted by sparrowhawk28

Thank you =)

Did you discern your vocation through getting a spiritual director? I've considered going to a retreat directed at religious vocation to see if I get anything out of it.

Usually I feel most called to family life. But then I experience such strong feelings of spiritual peace, and it confuses me a bit. I think I will try talking to a priest and see what they recommend, and I'll definitely check out St. Ignatius' writings.

Going to a retreat directed religious vocation to see if you get anything out of it may take you somewhere re discernment it may not. Only one way to find out, huh. You are already on your discernment journey. You are very wise and indeed, and the best of moves in your conflict especially, to try talking to a priest and in checking out what St. Ignatuis has to say.
Have you considered talking to the Vocations Director in your diocese?

All of these are good moves. You are being led by The Holy Spirit although probably not at all conscious of such. This is evident by the fact that the moves you are planning and considering are all good moves in a journey of discernment: You are very seriously considering your vocation in life and as your invitation from God, you have identified personal conflict and you are seeking assistance from those who are able to give you wise advice. You are not jumping to any conclusions or hasty decisions and are showing patience and a willingness to journey with acertain level of uncertainty at this point.

God bless and keep you close always. Prayers and please remember CA and membership in your own.

[sparrowhawk28]

Originally Posted by TiggerS

Going to a retreat directed religious vocation to see if you get anything out of it may take you somewhere re discernment it may not. Only one way to find out, huh. You are already on your discernment journey. You are very wise and indeed, and the best of moves in your conflict especially, to try talking to a priest and in checking out what St. Ignatuis has to say.
Have you considered talking to the Vocations Director in your diocese?

All of these are good moves. You are being led by The Holy Spirit although probably not at all conscious of such. This is evident by the fact that the moves you are planning and considering are all good moves in a journey of discernment: You are very seriously considering your vocation in life and as your invitation from God, you have identified personal conflict and you are seeking assistance from those who are able to give you wise advice. You are not jumping to any conclusions or hasty decisions and are showing patience and a willingness to journey with acertain level of uncertainty at this point.

God bless and keep you close always. Prayers and please remember CA and membership in your own.

Yes, I suppose there is only one way to know for sure. I last went on a religious retreat about two years ago, but it was more directed at reflection rather than on vocational discernment. I'm not sure who my Vocational Director would be or even if my diocese has one, but I'll try and have a look and see if I can get to talk to a suitable person.

My life is going to change significantly in the second half of this year as I am planning to study for a semester at a Catholic college in the US. I'm already at a Catholic university now, but the college seems to have a particularly pronounced spiritual presence. I'm hoping that while I'm there I'll have the opportunity to deepen my spiritual life and perhaps also my understanding of what God is telling me.

I feel the presence of the Holy Spirit in several ways. Mostly I find myself being drawn to marriage rather than anything else, but I don't know if that's a result of divine calling, my own desire or even a combination of the two (which would, I feel, be the best outcome). I'm patient to find out where my life will lead, and know that God has a plan for me that He is revealing or will reveal when the time is right. Whatever happens, I trust in God

Thank you =) I will definitely pray for the community here.

[TiggerS]

Originally Posted by sparrowhawk28

Yes, I suppose there is only one way to know for sure. I last went on a religious retreat about two years ago, but it was more directed at reflection rather than on vocational discernment. I'm not sure who my Vocational Director would be or even if my diocese has one, but I'll try and have a look and see if I can get to talk to a suitable person.

My life is going to change significantly in the second half of this year as I am planning to study for a semester at a Catholic college in the US. I'm already at a Catholic university now, but the college seems to have a particularly pronounced spiritual presence. I'm hoping that while I'm there I'll have the opportunity to deepen my spiritual life and perhaps also my understanding of what God is telling me.

I feel the presence of the Holy Spirit in several ways. Mostly I find myself being drawn to marriage rather than anything else, but I don't know if that's a result of divine calling, my own desire or even a combination of the two (which would, I feel, be the best outcome). I'm patient to find out where my life will lead, and know that God has a plan for me that He is revealing or will reveal when the time is right. Whatever happens, I trust in God

Thank you =) I will definitely pray for the community here.

Firstly, thank you very much for remembering us all in prayer - also God's Blessing of success on all your studies - and I do hope that the college in the USA will indeed present you with opportunities to deepend your spirituality. If you can get to Adoration, you can take a (spiritual type) book with you - including a book of prayers. These may be helpful to you. Also if you Google there are sites on the internet that lay out a Holy Hour for Adoration. Of course, you dont have to go for an hour.
If reading the Bible is a positive spiritual experience for you - stay with it. Pray as you can, not as you cannot.

Secondly, we have a married deaconate - I dont know much about it at all really, almost nothing. I know it is ordination into Holy Orders, although not full Holy Orders - if that is the way to put it. Other members may be helpful if you are interested. I dont know if a man would need to be married for a stipulated period before considering the deaconate. What I was able to do was locate the following sites (some from CA) which may give you some information if interested:


Catholic Answers:
At our parish, we have 4 deacons and all have families. I understand that if you are not married and become a deacon, you cannot get married ...
Can a permanent deacon become a priest?‎ - 27 Feb 2009
Becoming a deacon‎ - 23 Oct 2008
How does one become a Deacon?‎ - 3 Sep 2007
Discerning a vocation to become a deacon‎ - 3 Feb 2005


Ordination Requirements
www.rmbowman.com/catholic/OrdReq.htm
into Holy Orders in the United Catholic Church. Those seeking to become deacons, priests, or bishops in the United Catholic Church must satisfy the ordaining ...

[sparrowhawk28]

Originally Posted by TiggerS

Firstly, thank you very much for remembering us all in prayer - also God's Blessing of success on all your studies - and I do hope that the college in the USA will indeed present you with opportunities to deepend your spirituality. If you can get to Adoration, you can take a (spiritual type) book with you - including a book of prayers. These may be helpful to you. Also if you Google there are sites on the internet that lay out a Holy Hour for Adoration. Of course, you dont have to go for an hour.
If reading the Bible is a positive spiritual experience for you - stay with it. Pray as you can, not as you cannot.

Secondly, we have a married deaconate - I dont know much about it at all really, almost nothing. I know it is ordination into Holy Orders, although not full Holy Orders - if that is the way to put it. Other members may be helpful if you are interested. I dont know if a man would need to be married for a stipulated period before considering the deaconate. What I was able to do was locate the following sites (some from CA) which may give you some information if interested:


Catholic Answers:
At our parish, we have 4 deacons and all have families. I understand that if you are not married and become a deacon, you cannot get married ...
Can a permanent deacon become a priest?‎ - 27 Feb 2009
Becoming a deacon‎ - 23 Oct 2008
How does one become a Deacon?‎ - 3 Sep 2007
Discerning a vocation to become a deacon‎ - 3 Feb 2005

Ordination Requirements
www.rmbowman.com/catholic/OrdReq.htm
into Holy Orders in the United Catholic Church. Those seeking to become deacons, priests, or bishops in the United Catholic Church must satisfy the ordaining ...

Not a problem. And thank you for your kind words of blessing, I'm very much looking forward to the opportunity not only to study overseas, but also to deepen my faith.
A prayer book does sound like a good idea, I think I have a few around my house that I could potentially take with me. Having something to help direct my prayer would probably make Adoration more purposeful for me.
A few churches in my area offer Holy Hour. I've never been to one, mostly due to the problem I have with directing prayer and with calming my mind. Reading the Bible has been a great source of help for me. It brings me a sense of spiritual peace and desire that I haven't experienced all too often. Plus I've learnt a lot through what I've read.

I have heard about the deaconate, but there may be a problem with me entering it seeing as I am a woman =P Thank you for attaching the sites, I'll check them out =)

[TiggerS]

Originally Posted by sparrowhawk28

Not a problem. And thank you for your kind words of blessing, I'm very much looking forward to the opportunity not only to study overseas, but also to deepen my faith.
A prayer book does sound like a good idea, I think I have a few around my house that I could potentially take with me. Having something to help direct my prayer would probably make Adoration more purposeful for me.
A few churches in my area offer Holy Hour. I've never been to one, mostly due to the problem I have with directing prayer and with calming my mind. Reading the Bible has been a great source of help for me. It brings me a sense of spiritual peace and desire that I haven't experienced all too often. Plus I've learnt a lot through what I've read.

I have heard about the deaconate, but there may be a problem with me entering it seeing as I am a woman =P Thank you for attaching the sites, I'll check them out =)

LOL - yes, you just might perhaps have a problem with the deaconate since your are a women - and I suggest you hestitate somewhat and think quite carefully before applying. LOL .
Apologies.

With Adoration, you could take your Bible along. Concentrating on some form of reading at Adoration, with a prayer to Jesus at the beginning for His Help and Guidance, can be a calming of the mind. We live in stressful times and it can take a bit to calm the mind down and switch off from the day's concerns - and a book can help to do this - be it a prayer book, Bible or even some spiritual text of some kind. If something strikes you, stop and give it some prayerful thought. You could talk to Jesus about it. You can even talk to Jesus present in The Blessed Eucharist about your desire to pray and the problem you have calming your mind, asking His Help. Jesus does not look at our successes, since they are His Gift anyway - rather He looks at our good desires and honest efforts, even if there is no success at all, only desires and efforts. I know that wanting to pray and finding the mind a problem is not easy - it is a real trial, spiritual trial and cross. But perseverance will bring reward.
Remember, Jesus is our very best friend and our most intimate of friend - no secrets from Him. We can talk to Him about anything we like.
If you do go along to Adoration, please remember a prayer for The Church and priests, and all our leadership at all levels.
Pray in whatever way you find comfortable - dont force yourself to pray in ways that you find difficult, let alone impossible. Perhaps you could start off at Adoration for say 15 or 20 minutes, or even less if it really is difficult for you. Stay with that time, however long it is, until it is no longer an effort and then and only then increase the time - and only if you desire to do so.
If we ask too much of ourselves, it is an almost sure bet that we probably wont persevere. One person has a gift to spend an hour at Adoration, another person perhaps more or less time. There is a great line in "The Desiderata" - "if we compare ourselves to others, we are likely to become vain or bitter". We all have different gifts - and everyone has their particular gift or gifts. Since we are the Mystical Body of Christ, your gift(s) are mine, and mine are yours and this applies to all Catholics - we bear each others burdens etc and we share each others gifts etc. We are the One Body and all gifts are dispersed throughout that One Body as God may choose.

PS - Some like to take their Rosary to Adoration.

[sparrowhawk28]

Originally Posted by TiggerS

LOL - yes, you just might perhaps have a problem with the deaconate since your are a women - and I suggest you hestitate somewhat and think quite carefully before applying. LOL .
Apologies.

With Adoration, you could take your Bible along. Concentrating on some form of reading at Adoration, with a prayer to Jesus at the beginning for His Help and Guidance, can be a calming of the mind. We live in stressful times and it can take a bit to calm the mind down and switch off from the day's concerns - and a book can help to do this - be it a prayer book, Bible or even some spiritual text of some kind. If something strikes you, stop and give it some prayerful thought. You could talk to Jesus about it. You can even talk to Jesus present in The Blessed Eucharist about your desire to pray and the problem you have calming your mind, asking His Help. Jesus does not look at our successes, since they are His Gift anyway - rather He looks at our good desires and honest efforts, even if there is no success at all, only desires and efforts. I know that wanting to pray and finding the mind a problem is not easy - it is a real trial, spiritual trial and cross. But perseverance will bring reward.
Remember, Jesus is our very best friend and our most intimate of friend - no secrets from Him. We can talk to Him about anything we like.
If you do go along to Adoration, please remember a prayer for The Church and priests, and all our leadership at all levels.
Pray in whatever way you find comfortable - dont force yourself to pray in ways that you find difficult, let alone impossible. Perhaps you could start off at Adoration for say 15 or 20 minutes, or even less if it really is difficult for you. Stay with that time, however long it is, until it is no longer an effort and then and only then increase the time - and only if you desire to do so.
If we ask too much of ourselves, it is an almost sure bet that we probably wont persevere. One person has a gift to spend an hour at Adoration, another person perhaps more or less time. There is a great line in "The Desiderata" - "if we compare ourselves to others, we are likely to become vain or bitter". We all have different gifts - and everyone has their particular gift or gifts. Since we are the Mystical Body of Christ, your gift(s) are mine, and mine are yours and this applies to all Catholics - we bear each others burdens etc and we share each others gifts etc. We are the One Body and all gifts are dispersed throughout that One Body as God may choose.

PS - Some like to take their Rosary to Adoration.

Haha, it's not a problem. A lot of people I talk to online seem to think I'm a guy =P

That's a good idea. I've really gotten into Bible reading lately, so maybe it would be a source of help for me. I think any source of direction like that - be it a prayer book, Bible or prayer card - could really keep me on track. I don't usually have a problem praying when I'm alone, but when it's with others I tend to get distracted. The few times I've been to Adoration, the church was rather full - so it was hard to concentrate.

For Lent I've decided to do the Lectio Divina, and I started today. It really helped me - the readings for Ash Wednesday are all about turning back to God, and they really made me think about what I'm doing (and what more I could be doing) to deepen my relationship with God and to possibly work out how to further my faith.

I will persevere with this. I think it's too important to forget I'm hoping to go to Reconciliation sometime during Lent, and perhaps try and speak to a priest about opportunities to deepen my faith life and get involved in the Church. I've done a few things within my local church to help out, and I'm still a volunteer with my local branch of a charity, but I would like to be able to do more. Beginning to read the Bible and pray more has really made a beautiful change in my life. I will definitely remember to keep the Church and CAF in my intentions.

The Rosary is a great idea, thank you! I haven't said the Rosary in a long time because I used to be quite unsure of my beliefs about Mary and about how much importance I should give to her. But it was actually through this website that I got to learn how important she is, and how much of Catholicism is understood through her =) So I think if I go to Adoration I'll definitely take my Rosary beads. Maybe I'll try and pray it in my own time too.

Thank you so much for your help on this subject. I've realised that there's a lot I can do to find my way in life - rather than simply wait for things to come about. I will try and deepen my faith and get closer to God with each day. May God bless you.

[TiggerS]

I really think that you are doing an absolutely outstanding job on your spiritual life. Outstanding. I am no spiritual director, but so well are you doing that even those not in spiritual direction can surely sight it.
Listen to your own interior promptings - and as long as where your spiritual life is concerned most especially if it is a good movement in a good or positive direction i.e. leading you towards The Lord. Follow that prompting. We are all absolutely unique and a one only, never to be repeated - hence we all differ. We all have a mission and vocation in life and only we can fulfill that mission and vocation in the way The Lord is hoping that we will, with all His Grace and Help with us. The Lord gifts us our success and permits where we fail. The real failure is not so much in failing as in not picking ourselves up immediately and expressing sorrow, going to Confession if necessary - and getting right back on our track as if nothing at all had happened. This is an expression, an act, of loving confidence and trust in The Lord and His Loving Mercy.
Great idea to have a chat with Father in Confession and I am hoping you will have success in finding a regular spiritual director. You could ask Father in Confession if he has the time.

If I read your first and opening post to this thread, you really have come a very long way indeed. Dont forget to whisper a prayer about The Lord's invitation to you for your future life - i.e. your potential future vocation. Remember too that vocation is not something that begins at some future date, we have one now as baptized members of the laity.

God bless you and yours also, and thank you for all you have shared, your journey to date. It can be a real inspiration and motivater to us all and has been to me. Thank you.

Edit - Lectio Divina and developing devotion to Our Lady are two really great moves. Dont expect too much of yourself too quickly - Jesus said: "My Peace I give to you" (not shall give or will give, but "give" - we have it already if we dont smother it!) - "Seek after Peace and pursue it" (Old Testament)