CAF challenges my faith, not in a good way

chepner3 · #1 Jan 21, '12, 1:09 pm

I joined CAF while for support and encouragement to strengthen my Catholic faith, have a fuller participation in a Catholic community, as a means toward education and to discover ways I can bring Catholicism more fully into my child's and my husband's lives.

Instead I seem to be confronted with the dogma of the Church that led me to question my participation a few years ago. As many have said, "My faith is week. I pray for your grace, O Lord."

I'm sure I'm not the only person on this board who is seeking a loving forum of like-minded souls. How can this forum be more of that and less confrontational?

LemonAndLime · #2 Jan 21, '12, 2:22 pm

Quote:

Originally Posted by chepner3

I'm sure I'm not the only person on this board who is seeking a loving forum of like-minded souls. How can this forum be more of that and less confrontational?

If it wasn't on the internet.

When you remove face-to-face contact you remove social rules of conversation - politeness, tact, as well as body language. People can vent about things they can't in real life, and express opinions they wouldn't normally. It is easier to express hate to people you don't know than love.

Samuel63 · #3 Jan 21, '12, 2:23 pm

You have a good point. My feeling is the forum is generally confrontational. There are occasions, perhaps 10% of the time, when the interaction is more positive.

I am glad to hear your priority is family. I place the priorities as God, then Family, then vocation - in that order.

Regarding rewarding interaction, I found our community has almost no one that is striving for holiness. As a catechist I saw the devastating impact on the kids first hand. I have started a faith formation group that meets once per week for just one hour. It has been rewarding and fun. Maybe you would like this type of activity?

AnneTeresa · #4 Jan 21, '12, 2:44 pm

I understand what you are saying. I've felt the same way sometimes. It's something about some people here who think it's their job (even their catholic responsibility) to correct/ confront others, instead of supporting/ loving/ listening/ aiding.

One thing I've noticed on web sites is that they all have an agenda of some kind. So CAF's may be to present the teachings of the catholic church as they are written (and not necessarily provide support for people struggling).

I guess all we can do is try to "be the change" we want to see. It can be hard though if you don't want to engage in confrontation (that's when I take breaks from CAF).

Angela77 · #5 Jan 21, '12, 2:53 pm

Yeah... I've gotten used to it. Try to ignore the militant Catholics. Just ignore their posts. I know it's hard.

Edmundus1581 · #6 Jan 21, '12, 3:08 pm

Great posts, friends! Yes, I've had a few bad experiences too, but I've also had more positive ones and have learned a lot here. A downside is that I've become too inhibited in my posting, always afraid that something I'm about to write may be ripped to shreds, even if it is genuine and well-informed.

Unfortunately the zealots are a loud minority, and can be more noisy than the majority.

I agree with tbcrawford that a good way to remain charitable and to find the best in CAF is to regularly participate in prayer requests.

~ Edmundus

Bl Pope Pius IX · #7 Jan 21, '12, 3:10 pm

I don't see many confrontational posts. I see posts that correctly instruct the faith and the doctrines and teachings of the Church. What do you expect? It is important for the people here to be charitable, but they can only control their intentions. However they cannot control how others understand their intentions. Albeit, they cannot control how others take their point. Thus, it is equally important to assume positive intent.

~ Pius

LemonAndLime · #8 Jan 21, '12, 3:24 pm

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bl Pope Pius IX

I don't see many confrontational posts. I see posts that correctly instruct the faith and the doctrines and teachings of the Church. What do you expect? It is important for the people here to be charitable, but they can only control their intentions. However they cannot control how others understand their intentions. Albeit, they cannot control how others take their point. Thus, it is equally important to assume positive intent.

~ Pius

With respect, you have only a few hundred posts. I have seen many confrontational posts and they're not all about "correctly instructing" people in the faith. You seem to assume those who are confrontational are just very faithful Catholics. Unfortunately, more often than not people aren't correcting others about the faith but are arguing about more earthly things.

**tbcrawford** · #9 Jan 21, '12, 3:34 pm

Quote:

Originally Posted by LemonAndLime

With respect, you have only a few hundred posts. I have seen many confrontational posts and they're not all about "correctly instructing" people in the faith. You seem to assume those who are confrontational are just very faithful Catholics. Unfortunately, more often than not people aren't correcting others about the faith but are arguing about more earthly things.

LemonAndLime · #10 Jan 21, '12, 3:38 pm

Quote:

Originally Posted by tbcrawford

By the way tbcrawford, I have just noticed how many posts you have and you've only been a member a year and a bit more than me.

Do you have any typing fingers left!

**tbcrawford** · #11 Jan 21, '12, 3:41 pm

Quote:

Originally Posted by Edmundus1581

I think that's the whole point. We are all intelligent adults here. I don't want anyone "instructing" me, unless I ask for it.

This is a forum of equals.

Yes they can, by adding words like "In my opinion..", "You may not have heard..", "Thankyou for your post, I agree except for..", "HTH", and smileys.

If one feels that one's post is in any way "instructing" someone who hasn't asked for it then one has the responsibility to make one's charitable intent clear, and reduce the "instruction" to the very minimum necessary, always assuming that the other is as intelligent, as holy and as well informed as yourself. That often doesn't happen.

Quote:

Originally Posted by LemonAndLime

By the way tbcrawford, I have just noticed how many posts you have and you've only been a member a year and a bit more than me.

Do you have any typing fingers left!

HI L&L lol , most of my posts are daily prayers in the prayer forum!

Edmundus1581 · #12 Jan 21, '12, 3:46 pm

Quote:

Originally Posted by tbcrawford

HI L&L lol , most of my posts are daily prayers in the prayer forum!

Good for you! And, "Thankyou!"

Bl Pope Pius IX · #13 Jan 21, '12, 3:45 pm

Quote:

Originally Posted by LemonAndLime

With respect, you have only a few hundred posts. I have seen many confrontational posts and they're not all about "correctly instructing" people in the faith. You seem to assume those who are confrontational are just very faithful Catholics. Unfortunately, more often than not people aren't correcting others about the faith but are arguing about more earthly things.

Let me clarify to those who responded to my earlier post. I am not saying that there aren't any confrontational posts. I said I don't often see them, or rather, I don't think they are confrontational. I have a knack of "lurking". I post every so often in clumps and then take a break for a month but continue to read and "lurk". Forgive me for not clarifying.

Edmundus, you'll have to forgive me, as well. For some reason I couldn't multi quote for some reason, so I will respond to you here as well. I disagree that we're all equals. I'm not equal to you, I'm just a sixteen year old that is still learning

. And though they can think ahead and say the things that you suggested, some just don't think so and hope that their true intent will shine through.

By the way, what is "HTH"?

Edmundus1581 · #14 Jan 21, '12, 3:52 pm

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bl Pope Pius IX

Edmundus, you'll have to forgive me, as well. For some reason I couldn't multi quote for some reason, so I will respond to you here as well. I disagree that we're all equals. I'm not equal to you, I'm just a sixteen year old that is still learning

. And though they can think ahead and say the things that you suggested, some just don't think so and hope that their true intent will shine through.

By the way, what is "HTH"?

Thankyou, Bl Pope Pius IX. Nothing to forgive, and you are an equal.

You are correct that sometimes we hope that our true intent will shine through, and it is misunderstood. I have been guilty of both not making my true intent clear, and of mis-interpreting others.

HTH = "Hope that helps"

Nice response!

~ Edmundus

Matrix Refugee · #15 Jan 21, '12, 3:54 pm

To the OP: I hear you. I've been on and off the forum for the better part of several years. I've had to take breaks from this site for several months at a time due usually to one thing: People being uncharitable to the point of being outright nasty or insulting or just plain unchristian. I've learned to either not reply to it and hit the report button or, where possible, to laugh at it.

Lately, it seems like it's gotten better on here. Not sure if people are just being more cautious with the hot-button issues, or if the moderators are being more strict about issuing warnings, forum suspensions and/or bans. I hate to see people banned, but if they can't keep a civil hand on their keyboard, maybe it's for the best.

I will say, my faith is getting stronger, it just took a little while, and I likely just needed to learn how to navigate the forum better, ie. learning to stay away from certain posters who've caused problems,