Taking the plunge: need advise

Stephen W · #1 Feb 11, '12, 9:34 am

In my current church, we have communion/feetwashing twice a year, the next coming in April. Ahead of that we have a "council service" where we affirm that we are in concert with the church (upholding and supporting the rules and regulations), can confess peace with God and man, and desire communion. That service is in a few weeks. After much study and prayer, we do not believe we can participate, as we find ourselves in the awkward state of being out of step with our church brothers. When this is announced, that will start the rounds of visits by the bishop and ministers, as well as concerned friends and family. And therein lies our problem.

We can not, will not lie, but to tell them of our interests in Catholicism will cause problems for our children still in the church's school. Pulling the children out of school right now just isn't an option, so.... not sure what to say to the ministers. My family and I have already decided to request a church letter (a formal resignation of our church membership) prior to the communion service which would occur mere weeks before school lets out, but what to do now...

I know there are many converts here; what did you tell your church when you left? What kinds of reactions did you get? Any input would be helpful.

Peace,
Stephen

joanofarc2008 · #2 Feb 11, '12, 10:42 am

I will be praying for you. I think in the letter you can ask not them not to involve the children as the children are only following the commandment to Honor Thy Father, Honor Thy Mother and that next year they will be in a new school. I wish you the best of luck on your future journey.

EvelynEVF · #3 Feb 12, '12, 1:08 pm

Stephen, when I converted, I lost a whole bunch of friends who are concerned that I'm probably going to hell. I would hope that since your communion service is so close to the end of school, that they will just let your kids finish the year and not worry about it. I would also hope that they would understand that being gratuitously unkind is more likely to drive you across the Tiber than keep you with them!

I visited my pastor of 15 years in person as a sign of respect, but he was condescending and insulting in return.

Hope for the best, but prepare yourself and your family emotionally for what could end up a real mess.

Stephen W · #4 Feb 12, '12, 3:00 pm

Quote:

Originally Posted by EvelynEVF

Stephen, when I converted, I lost a whole bunch of friends who are concerned that I'm probably going to hell. I would hope that since your communion service is so close to the end of school, that they will just let your kids finish the year and not worry about it. I would also hope that they would understand that being gratuitously unkind is more likely to drive you across the Tiber than keep you with them!

I visited my pastor of 15 years in person as a sign of respect, but he was condescending and insulting in return.

Hope for the best, but prepare yourself and your family emotionally for what could end up a real mess.

One of our fears is the mess that could come about for our children. And the problem is our "council service" which is just 2 weeks away, when we'll have to anounce that we will not be taking communion in April. Your prayers would be appreciated.

Thanks,

Stephen

EvelynEVF · #5 Feb 12, '12, 4:37 pm

It sounds like you're not truly sure yet whether you will convert, just can't honestly consider yourself a Mennonite in good standing at the present time, right? Can you tell them as you plan to, that you are undecided, and then just batten down your emotional hatches until you get through the round of visits from concerned people?

My thought is that if you take their concerns very seriously, and take notes about the things you can't answer, a)you'll know where you need to read further for your own knowledge and b)you'll be appropriately receptive to their concerns, and they will see this.

You will certainly be in my prayers.

Stephen W · #6 Feb 12, '12, 6:28 pm

Quote:

Originally Posted by EvelynEVF

It sounds like you're not truly sure yet whether you will convert, just can't honestly consider yourself a Mennonite in good standing at the present time, right? Can you tell them as you plan to, that you are undecided, and then just batten down your emotional hatches until you get through the round of visits from concerned people?

My thought is that if you take their concerns very seriously, and take notes about the things you can't answer, a)you'll know where you need to read further for your own knowledge and b)you'll be appropriately receptive to their concerns, and they will see this.

You will certainly be in my prayers.

No, we are definately converting, just want to avoid problems for our school children. Plus there are other issues to work out in relationship to leaving the church, for example, we do not have insurance, employment concerns, etc., that I simply need more time to figure out.

Thank you for the good advise, and prayers.

EvelynEVF · #7 Feb 13, '12, 4:45 am

I'm sorry; I misunderstood. Your little profile thingy still says "casting glances," so I assumed you were not so far along. Have you started RCIA?

I am not advocating lying, but there is a certain lubricative effect provided when one can say, "We haven't made any formal moves yet."

i tested the waters with a few people, and seeing nothing but horror in return, I never said anything further until my confirmation day was set. My letter of notification to the elders of the Church was in the context of an invitation to come to the Mass. We even printed up special programs with extra notes for Protestants to follow along, but no one came. i did get four nice-but-hesitant notes back, and one which told me I was a fool.

I don't know why I tell you that except to encourage you that you aren't the first, you won't be the last, and many of us here will be here to listen when you need to talk about how it went.

There is a price to be paid for converting. Being generically Protestant is pretty easy these days, because that tent is so big. Being a cradle Catholic can also be easy, because there is the perception that many of them aren't paying a whole lot of attention or are consciously dissenting. But once you, as a faithful, committed adult, choose Catholicism, sparks fly. I'm so sorry that your children might get stuck in the middle.

FWIW, my conversion put my kids in a pickle, for reasons I won't go into publicly, because it would be identifying information. They are young, but we have had many, many very involved conversations about it all, and as a result they are the best chatechised kids in their circle, Protestant or Catholic. It has also been great for my faith and knowledge to have to learn how to translate my apologetics down to their level. So there is a silver lining in that cloud, though it has caused us a great deal of heartache.

joanofarc2008 · #8 Feb 13, '12, 7:44 am

As far as the monetary concerns, etc I would consider contacting Catholic Charities. They will help you even if you are not Catholic. This is part of the doctrine that Charity is a form of love and that love is not to be used as a form of proselytization.

Stephen W · #9 Feb 13, '12, 3:05 pm

Thanks for the responses. We start RCIA as a family after Easter, the current class is too far along. I am scheduled to meet with the minister, bishop, and deacon of our Mennonite church on 21 Feb., please pray for us, that it goes well.

Thanks,

Stephen

joanofarc2008 · #10 Feb 13, '12, 3:16 pm

Quote:

Originally Posted by Stephen W

Thanks for the responses. We start RCIA as a family after Easter, the current class is too far along. I am scheduled to meet with the minister, bishop, and deacon of our Mennonite church on 21 Feb., please pray for us, that it goes well.

Thanks,

Stephen

You have my prayers. God bless you and keep you.

pablope · #11 Feb 13, '12, 3:28 pm

Quote:

Originally Posted by Stephen W

In my current church, we have communion/feetwashing twice a year, the next coming in April. Ahead of that we have a "council service" where we affirm that we are in concert with the church (upholding and supporting the rules and regulations), can confess peace with God and man, and desire communion. That service is in a few weeks.

I know there are many converts here; what did you tell your church when you left? What kinds of reactions did you get? Any input would be helpful.

Peace,
Stephen

You are in my prayers, Stephen.

I would suggest to go to this website and ask for advise....there are former protestant ministers here and I think they would be of great help to you.....http://forum.chnetwork.org/

With that, I would be honest and tell the minister about what your intentions are, your conscience and all...but do it with charity and love.

Also, voice concern about your children that your not attending not be let out, lest there be talk in school and all that may affect the children.

I would also advice, if you have not, (and I do not know the age of your children)...if your children can understand, to explain what you are intention are...to sort of prepare them.

I hope this helps...and God bless....I will light a candle for you and your family at our perpetual adoration chapel.

Stephen W · #12 Feb 13, '12, 3:52 pm

Quote:

Originally Posted by pablope

You are in my prayers, Stephen.

I would suggest to go to this website and ask for advise....there are former protestant ministers here and I think they would be of great help to you.....http://forum.chnetwork.org/

With that, I would be honest and tell the minister about what your intentions are, your conscience and all...but do it with charity and love.

Also, voice concern about your children that your not attending not be let out, lest there be talk in school and all that may affect the children.

I would also advice, if you have not, (and I do not know the age of your children)...if your children can understand, to explain what you are intention are...to sort of prepare them.

I hope this helps...and God bless....I will light a candle for you and your family at our perpetual adoration chapel.

Thank you for your prayers and advise. In the Mennonite church, it is a BIG deal to not take communion, so much so, that it will be announced. I'm thinking it will be impossible for our children not to be involved. We have 9; 4 out of school (which only goes to 10th grade), 3 still there and 2 not ready yet. The older children will be in RCIA with us, the school aged ones are being taught alot of what we are learning, but without making it a "Catholic vs. Mennonite" thing.

Thanks again.

Stephen

PJM · #13 Feb 15, '12, 1:14 pm

Quote:

=Stephen W;8946542]In my current church, we have communion/feetwashing twice a year, the next coming in April. Ahead of that we have a "council service" where we affirm that we are in concert with the church (upholding and supporting the rules and regulations), can confess peace with God and man, and desire communion. That service is in a few weeks. After much study and prayer, we do not believe we can participate, as we find ourselves in the awkward state of being out of step with our church brothers. When this is announced, that will start the rounds of visits by the bishop and ministers, as well as concerned friends and family. And therein lies our problem.

We can not, will not lie, but to tell them of our interests in Catholicism will cause problems for our children still in the church's school. Pulling the children out of school right now just isn't an option, so.... not sure what to say to the ministers. My family and I have already decided to request a church letter (a formal resignation of our church membership) prior to the communion service which would occur mere weeks before school lets out, but what to do now...

I know there are many converts here; what did you tell your church when you left? What kinds of reactions did you get? Any input would be helpful.

Peace,
Stephen

Truth must always be the answer. TRUST in God's help.

My suggestion is speak to the pastor BEFORE it becomes a public conflict.

God WILL grant you the GRACE to work through this. DO NOT BE DISUADED from the Only Church and Only set of Faith beliefs that Christ Himself warrants [John 17:15-19]...

If you have any faith questions please send me a private message.

God Bless you,
Pat

Stephen W · #14 Feb 15, '12, 6:26 pm

Quote:

Originally Posted by PJM

Truth must always be the answer. TRUST in God's help.

My suggestion is speak to the pastor BEFORE it becomes a public conflict.

God WILL grant you the GRACE to work through this. DO NOT BE DISUADED from the Only Church and Only set of Faith beliefs that Christ Himself warrants [John 17:15-19]...

If you have any faith questions please send me a private message.

God Bless you,
Pat

Thamk you for your advise. I will be meeting with the bishop and ministers Monday the 20th. My intention is to request a church letter then, and pray it doesn't affect the school children much.

Stephen

PJM · #15 Feb 16, '12, 9:23 am

Quote:

=Stephen W;8966889]Thamk you for your advise. I will be meeting with the bishop and ministers Monday the 20th. My intention is to request a church letter then, and pray it doesn't affect the school children much.

Stephen

Know that you're in my thoughts and prayers,

IF you have any faith questions send me a PM and I get you the information you seek.

God Bless,
Pat