Four months after leaving the SSPX

sicutincensum · #1 Feb 21, '12, 11:20 am

[Dear Moderators: I write this in the Traditional Catholic section of the forum because it largely relates to feelings of someone who left the SSPX, and seeking advice of other fellow traditional Catholics, who are more likely to have experienced simillar situations. However, if you believe this should be in the Family Life or Prayer Intentions forums, feel free to move it,]

I remember listening to an interview of a right-wing deputy of my country, who had been a high-rank communist, where she revealed some details of her exit of the communist party milieu. She related how she suddenly found herself without friends and, she said smilling, with no coffee shop to go to (as all her former "friends" were communist and disproved of her change).

Please do not assume I'm comparing the SSPX, which has plenty of good things, with the demoniacal communist ideology, because I'm not. However, the details of that interview came frequently to mind after I walked away from the SSPX. After more than two years of total commitment to the "cause", I found myself pretty much without friends (with the exception of a long-date friend), and, most of all, feeling tremendously isolated. After leaving my gilfriend due to other issues (as I described some months ago here on CAF), this feeling of loneliness became even more pressuring, and, I believe, is leading me towards a depression.

Yes, I know, perhaps the feeling should be the opposite, as I shifted from a small group to an huge reality: the Church! However, I believe those of you who have been SSPXers can relate to this: the SSPX is a family, and, specially if you are very commited to it (I did Chartres-Paris 2 times, I went to Écône, etc.), and thus you feel very integrated.

Now, on the contrary, I feel quite alone! I don't feel confortable in any parish in my region (there is not a single EF, not even a latin OF), and the parish where I feel better (which has a reverent OF) is not my home parish, and although I spend much of my time there, I don't have a close relation with the priests nor with any of the parish staff. Parishes look so closed (even my home parish does)!

Also, I've been being tempted (yes, I know it's a temptation, even my parents, who are'nt practicing Catholics have told me it's a stupid temptation) into thinking that perhaps I'll never find a girl that I could marry, because in my country/region traditional/conservative catholicism is pretty much non-existing. The only "conservative" group that is active here is Opus Dei, and I don't feel confortable with their spirituality (Opus Dei is great, but it's just not for me).

Once again, perhaps former SSPXers can relate to this: when you're a young SSPXer, you are within a circle of young people commited to the Church (in their way), and even if you don't find a girl within your chapel, you'll sure you'll find one at Post Falls, St. Mary's or in France.

Up to now this has been a huge rant, but my purpose is to see if anyone relates to these feelings and/or has experienced the same, or if you can give any encouragement.

After leaving the SSPX, I immediately joined the Confraternity of Saint Peter (even if the nearest FSSP chapel is some 600 miles away), so I could feel I belonged somewhere (even if only spiritually). I'm planning to start practising a martial art (Krag Maga) and to attend some FSSP mixed retreats in the future (perhaps a good way to find a prospective spouse). Do you have any further suggestion?

Of course, I would be very grateful if you pray an Hail Mary for me. This whole situation is not being easy to overcome. However, I hope this doesnt' sound like I regreat having left the SSPX. Nothing is better than to feel and to be in full communion with the Vicar of Christ. Ubi Petro, ibi Ecclesia.

svid2 · #2 Feb 21, '12, 12:31 pm

Prayers are being prayed.

By the way, what do you mean when you say you 'did Paris-Chartres'?

sicutincensum · #3 Feb 21, '12, 12:34 pm

Quote:

Originally Posted by svid2

Prayers are being prayed.

By the way, what do you mean when you say you 'did Paris-Chartres'?

Actually it was Chartres-Paris. It's a pilgrimnage hosted by the SSPX every year at Pentecost. Not to be confused with the Paris-Chartres pilgrimnage, which takes place at the same time, but with the opposite direction, and is hosted by an association close to the Ecclesia Dei movements.

Windmill · #4 Feb 21, '12, 12:45 pm

Prayers going out your way!

jwinch2 · #5 Feb 21, '12, 1:14 pm

I have not experienced this in terms of SSPX but merely from switching parishes. My wife and I both went through RCIA and were confirmed in the Church last Easter. Shortly after confirmation we moved across the country and of course, into a new parish. The parish had just received a new pastor as well.

It has been 6 months now and we are just really making friends and starting to feel like we are part of the parish. We have gone to several activities, parish retreats, formation programs, etc. and just lately we really are getting to know people and are fitting in.

The moral of my story here is that sometimes it just takes some time for you to feel comfortable. If there is a parish that has an OF Mass which you like, I would go there and start getting involved. Some people are big on the "home parish" thing but everyone is different and respond differently to God's call. If you know of a place where you could be happy and grow spiritually, you should go there. Give a few months of being active and involved and I think you will be surprised at being accepted.

Peace, and God Bless.

chevalier · #6 Feb 21, '12, 12:54 pm

Quote:

Originally Posted by sicutincensum

After leaving the SSPX, I immediately joined the Confraternity of Saint Peter (even if the nearest FSSP chapel is some 600 miles away), so I could feel I belonged somewhere (even if only spiritually). I'm planning to start practising a martial art (Krag Maga) and to attend some FSSP mixed retreats in the future (perhaps a good way to find a prospective spouse). Do you have any further suggestion?

You've probably done that but I'd mention SSPX in confession and inquire about any ecclesiastical penalties that could need to be removed. Sorry for lack of other suggestions but I'm not great when it comes to a feeling of belonging. Been a struggle all my life. Don't reject your "normal" parish, see if you can get involved.

sicutincensum · #7 Feb 21, '12, 1:04 pm

Quote:

Originally Posted by chevalier

You've probably done that but I'd mention SSPX in confession and inquire about any ecclesiastical penalties that could need to be removed. Sorry for lack of other suggestions but I'm not great when it comes to a feeling of belonging. Been a struggle all my life. Don't reject your "normal" parish, see if you can get involved.

Thank you. I've mentioned it, but I don't think there are any canonical penalties involved (specially because I started attending the SSPX after the lifting of the excommunications took place).

maurin · #8 Feb 21, '12, 5:18 pm

Quote:

Originally Posted by chevalier

You've probably done that but I'd mention SSPX in confession and inquire about any ecclesiastical penalties that could need to be removed. Sorry for lack of other suggestions but I'm not great when it comes to a feeling of belonging. Been a struggle all my life. Don't reject your "normal" parish, see if you can get involved.

What penalties?

I have gone (almost) exclusively to SSPX. Chapels for Mass for the past 4.5 years. When I know, due to time constrainsts, that I will be unable to confess to my regular confessor, I go to a local NO Parish for Confession. I have developed a nice rapport with a particular Priest over the last year or so there, and really appreciate his counsel in the Confessional. He knows I do not go to the NO Mass, and go (almost) exclusively to the Society.

Neither he nor my Society Confessor see anything wrong with this.

I don't mean to derail the thread, but I think its important to clear up the issue chevalier has brought up.

MillTownCath · #9 Feb 26, '12, 8:45 am

Quote:

Originally Posted by chevalier

You've probably done that but I'd mention SSPX in confession and inquire about any ecclesiastical penalties that could need to be removed. Sorry for lack of other suggestions but I'm not great when it comes to a feeling of belonging. Been a struggle all my life. Don't reject your "normal" parish, see if you can get involved.

I'm not sure if you can answer this, but is having deep involvement with the SSPX, or the anti-Vatican II movement in general, considered a sin?

piouswoman · #10 Feb 26, '12, 7:33 pm

Quote:

Originally Posted by MillTownCath

I'm not sure if you can answer this, but is having deep involvement with the SSPX, or the anti-Vatican II movement in general, considered a sin?

That's a great question...in my experience the biggest sin among "traditional" Catholics is pride.

floresco · #11 Mar 2, '12, 10:24 am

Quote:

Originally Posted by MillTownCath

I'm not sure if you can answer this, but is having deep involvement with the SSPX, or the anti-Vatican II movement in general, considered a sin?

I have a friend who used to be very involved with the SSPX and he speaks of his past association as if it were a sin. I am pretty sure he confessed this in the Sacrament. I suspect this is because he had a schismatic attitude during his time there.

On the other hand, I attend Masses celebrated by the SSPX with a clear conscience and having discussed it with my spiritual director.

Back to the OP: Depending on one's personality, four months is not a long time to get used to a new parish. When I have started at a new parish, it usually takes me more than a year to start to feel at home. So it is possible that some of your feelings are not so much leaving SSPX issues as adjusting to new people issues and perhaps they will improve with time.

Cambridge · #12 Mar 2, '12, 11:37 pm

@ opening post, I think your analogy to Communism was excellent, because it represents a group that was at odds with the prevailing culture.

I'd say there is a huge difference between a small church and a huge church. It's like 50 instant friends at a small church and like being an invisible alien at a huge church.

It's like you are in some kind of us versus them situation, that pushes everyone into this togetherness mode. Modern Culture and its perceived corruption of The RCC, being resisted by a group of Catholics struggling to preserve Traditional Culture and nudge Rome back to it. That militancy is invigorating and Modern Culture is creepy.

I think you need a plan to keep your Traditional values, without the encouragement and support you've probably come to rely on. Also, you need a mission/team/plan/struggle, to replace the one you've abandoned.

Fight the good fight

Cambridge · #13 Mar 3, '12, 12:15 am

If you're looking for a role model, I'd think someone like E. Michael Jones. He's very militant, firmly opposed to Modernism, very Catholic and has always thought that The SSPX was schismatic and has not really changed his opinion on that. However, he attracts the same people who would have loved Bishop Williamson's sermon on "1984."

So, he proves it can be done, but I think it's harder to do it that way.

You also expose yourself to more temptation than you would at an SSPX chapel. I guess you've already decided it is worth it, but I'd expect that decision to be challenged.

God Bless

prettiefly · #14 Feb 21, '12, 1:20 pm

Quote:

Originally Posted by sicutincensum

Once again, perhaps former SSPXers can relate to this: when you're a young SSPXer, you are within a circle of young people commited to the Church (in their way), and even if you don't find a girl within your chapel, you'll sure you'll find one at Post Falls, St. Mary's or in France.

I am part of a Traditional Latin Mass community, completely approved and supported by our local Bishop - we have had two marraiges and one soon, possible engagement within our community recently. All three situations the young people met on the internet via a singles website for Traditional Latin Mass Catholics. Our community is very small, so to have such good success so far with this speakes for itself.
If being a Traditional Latin Mass Catholic (I don't know of any better phrase) is the most important criteria for you, it would be wise to check out this option for finding a like-minded bride.
Oh, and one of the couples that was married this past Summer just told us they are expecting their first child

Good luck and God bless~

jwinch2 · #15 Feb 21, '12, 1:44 pm

http://www.institute-christ-king.org/home/

http://www.canonsregular.com/

http://www.canons-regular.org/

http://unavoce.org/

I don't know where you are located. However, since you mentioned looking for a FSSP parish, I thought you might see if these groups were more local. My understanding is that all celebrate the EF Mass and are all in full communion with the Holy See.

Peace,