Why do the " Bad Boys" get so many women?

itullian · #1 May 15, '12, 3:48 am

You know what I mean.

The jerks, bullies, rowdy, smooth talkin' ones never want for women hanging all over them.

While the nice guys are sitting there thinking "what the heck, I thought girls wanted nice guys."

C'mon guys, let em hear it, vent a little.

C'mon girls, why do you go for them?

Irishmom2 · #2 May 15, '12, 4:23 am

Peter, do you think the bad boys are getting nice girls? I am not so sure. And if they are, I don't think it lasts.

If you are a nice guy, you will meet a nice girl one day. She's out there now waiting for you to come find her and talk to her. Perhaps you have passed her on the street or in church a hundred times, but you never looked at her or noticed her because you were too busy looking for the girls that are off with the bad boys. And you haven't realized they aren't the girls you want anyway.

Pink_Lemonade · #3 May 15, '12, 4:34 am

It's partially because of their confidence and boldness, however fake or misplaced it may be. The take-charge kind of attitude is attractive. Also, many of these guys know exactly what a woman wants to hear and will tell her. It takes some of us longer than others to wise up to their act, especially when we've already fallen for them.

Most women I know have at least one "bad boy" involved in their past in some way, whether it was serious involvement or just a pattern of being attracted to them. So, look for the girls who have already realized that they don't want that. They are out there. And when you find one, take on the confidence of a "bad boy" without being a jerk.

The Bucket · #4 May 15, '12, 4:58 am

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pink_Lemonade

It's partially because of their confidence and boldness, however fake or misplaced it may be. The take-charge kind of attitude is attractive. Also, many of these guys know exactly what a woman wants to hear and will tell her. It takes some of us longer than others to wise up to their act, especially when we've already fallen for them.

Most women I know have at least one "bad boy" involved in their past in some way, whether it was serious involvement or just a pattern of being attracted to them. So, look for the girls who have already realized that they don't want that. They are out there. And when you find one, take on the confidence of a "bad boy" without being a jerk.

This. Women swoon for "bad boys" but typically don't settle down with them. That doesn't keep them from hanging on to those relationships and trying to change them though, nor does it mean that women will stop being attracted to certain behaviors even if they've settled down with a nice guy.

Just as we men have a tendency to have our tongues hang out of our mouths when a very attractive and not modestly dressed woman walks by, so do women have a tendency to swoon for a guy who is bold and assertive even if he is also a jerk.

So follow Pink Lemonade's advice. Be assertive. Be confident. Be bold. Be the genuine article. The ideal guy for the vast majority of women is a bold, take-charge guy who also still listens to female advice and puts her concerns top of mind. You just have to make sure that when you're putting her concerns first, you're not acting like a doormat.

Crescentinus · #5 May 15, '12, 5:59 am

A lot of women these days are lacking good sense and maturity to know the difference between a good man and a bully. To be fair, this malady also afflicts a lot of men. Hence, chaos ensues along with much whining on both sides.
And yes, I am a victim of this problem thus I decided to be belligerent.

mellowcalico · #6 May 15, '12, 6:10 am

Women are attracted to confidence (and masculinity) like other posters have said. It doesn't matter if you are a jerk or not--but I think guys notice it more when the other guy is confident and also a jerk. In other words, I don't think it stands out as much when a confident, nice man attracts women.

I also think the lines get blurred and some women confuse arrogance with confidence (and vice versa).

I also have this personal pet theory (if you will) that a lot of men mainly notice when the really good looking women are "hanging on" men who are jerks. They don't notice the quite, nice girls around them. I know a lot of nice girls who don't give jerks the time of day--and are often overlooked themselves (as plain janes/unexciting, etc).

Debora123 · #7 May 15, '12, 8:45 am

Quote:

Originally Posted by mellowcalico

I also have this personal pet theory (if you will) that a lot of men mainly notice when the really good looking women are "hanging on" men who are jerks. They don't notice the quite, nice girls around them. I know a lot of nice girls who don't give jerks the time of day--and are often overlooked themselves (as plain janes/unexciting, etc).

Exactly.

**Joe 5859** · #8 May 15, '12, 6:13 am

Ah, the eternal question of the nice guy.

I'll never forget back in high school when this one girl (whose boyfriend was in and out of juveneille detention centers) told me "I wish my boyfriend were more like you." To which I thought "Then dump him and date me! I'm more like me than any other guy!" Of course, I said nothing. Which I think illustrates the problem.

I think that pink lemonade is right that women are attracted to confidence. Mix in a little Florence Nightingale type Syndrome, and voila!

It got better for me once I started hanging around good Catholic girls. Eventually I got one to marry me.

Crescentinus · #9 May 15, '12, 6:16 am

Quote:

Originally Posted by Joe 5859

Ah, the eternal question of the nice guy.

I'll never forget back in high school when this one girl (whose boyfriend was in and out of juveneille detention centers) told me "I wish my boyfriend were more like you." To which I thought "Then dump him and date me! I'm more like me than any other guy!" Of course, I said nothing. Which I think illustrates the problem.

I think that pink lemonade is right that women are attracted to confidence. Mix in a little Florence Nightingale type Syndrome, and voila!

It got better for me once I started hanging around good Catholic girls. Eventually I got one to marry me.

You sir, are one fortunate man.
I've seen worse, hence my above post.
Also, good Catholic girls (especially those who object to gay pornography in anime) are not easy to find here in the Far East!

Armor of Light · #10 May 15, '12, 12:23 pm

Quote:

Originally Posted by Crescentinus

You sir, are one fortunate man. I've seen worse, hence my above post. Also, good Catholic girls (especially those who object to gay pornography in anime) are not easy to find here in the Far East!

Gay porn in anime? Ughhh. What would Totoro think?

Crescentinus · #11 May 15, '12, 7:44 pm

Quote:

Originally Posted by Armor of Light

Gay porn in anime? Ughhh. What would Totoro think?

Totoro would get ticked off.

The Bucket · #12 May 15, '12, 6:24 am

Quote:

Originally Posted by Joe 5859

I'll never forget back in high school when this one girl (whose boyfriend was in and out of juveneille detention centers) told me "I wish my boyfriend were more like you." To which I thought "Then dump him and date me! I'm more like me than any other guy!" Of course, I said nothing. Which I think illustrates the problem.

Bingo. Be the guy that says what you're thinking when women ask you why she can't date a nice guy. Because that show of confidence will break through the haze and rattle a girl a bit, but in a good way. She already knows the genuine, decent human being in there. She also needs to find out that such a man can be exciting and strong.

wondrousgnat · #13 May 15, '12, 6:29 am

I was single until I was 61. My opinion of me is that I was a good guy. I was turned own for dates very often and I once figured that on exactly half of the dates I had I ended up being stood up. Sometimes I went years without even trying to get a date.

One thing that I , and other men noticed, was that women often did go for the bad guys. And I observed this even in Christian singles groups. We often thought that women went for the bad ones so that they could change them. Never saw the logic of dating Fred in order to change him into a guy like Bob when they wouldn't give Bob the time of day.

And girls, if you date really lousy guys first how do you think the good guys feel when they are your fifth choice after you went through the scumbags? For those guys with strong moral, family beliefs you are not looking all that promising.

KCT · #14 May 15, '12, 6:34 am

As a woman, I had/ have little respect for women who go after the 'bad guys'. (even when I was in high school and college)

Crescentinus · #15 May 15, '12, 6:37 am

Quote:

Originally Posted by KCT

As a woman, I had/ have little respect for women who go after the 'bad guys'. (even when I was in high school and college)

Women like you are becoming very rare here in the Far East. I swear, I've seen many young women go for either effeminate men or total badboys. Those who go for the latter do not want men, they want boys.