Single father, interested in the faith..can I be accepted?

[Mgray82]

Hello, I'm interested in attending the RCIA program this fall. Assuming perusing faith in the Catholic Church, could I be accepted if I have a child? Obviously he is not Catholic nor is his biological mother.

So, could I be accepted in the Church? And if so, how could I go about baptizing my son into the Church? He's 3 years old by the way..

[YoungTradCath]

Yes, of course you can be accepted.

Your son will likely be allowed to be baptized when you are. Or perhaps a bit after.

[Marchmain1987]

1. You need to speak with the mother of the child to see if she wishes and/or objects to baptism (assuming she is in the child’s life) and the child being raised Catholic.

Stick with RCIA when it begins. It can be a bit tedious (depending on your parish) – but it is worth it.

[Mgray82]

Thank you all for the replies and prayers.

Originally Posted by Marchmain1987

1. You need to speak with the mother of the child to see if she wishes and/or objects to baptism (assuming she is in the child’s life) and the child being raised Catholic.

Stick with RCIA when it begins. It can be a bit tedious (depending on your parish) – but it is worth it.

I doubt his mother (she is in his life and i believe is a good mother) would think to highly of it. She considers herself as "not religious" even though she does believe in God or the idea of a God. I guess I would have to explore other options.

[YoungTradCath]

I am certain that you can have your child baptized without his mother's consent. It is his soul at stake.

[TheDoctor]

Originally Posted by YoungTradCath

I am certain that you can have your child baptized without his mother's consent. It is his soul at stake.

This is something you need to dicuss much later after RCIA. A priest will generally not baptize a child if there is he is not certain the child will be raised Catholic. My advice at this time is to not worry about your child or his mom. If God is calling you home you should get to RCIA, learn about the faith and concentrate on becoming Catholic.

[Spencerian]

Originally Posted by YoungTradCath

I am certain that you can have your child baptized without his mother's consent. It is his soul at stake.

This is very bad advice.

Often, a state's parental rights where joint legal custodianship exists, neither parent can enroll a minor child unilaterally without mutual consent. See this recent news report on a woman that baptized her children without the father's agreement and is now facing charges.

Some background to help you here:

I am in this very situation at the moment, where my son's atheist mother has blocked me from completing what was left of my son's RCIA courses, preventing him from becoming Catholic this past Easter Vigil.

Such court orders in my case are questionable, however, for one special exception. I can't enroll my child in any religious group and neither can the mother...but the child can enroll himself. My son turns 16 this week. He is old enough to learn to drive and to drive a multi-ton vehicle with a licensed driver. He also attended the Rite of Christian Initiation for Adults, not "Children." I was basically the transportation. Under Canon Law, I couldn't enroll my son into the Church even if I wanted to, at his age. He must choose the faith on his own, no matter how many times I drove him to courses or encouraged him.

So, if my son were to get a ride up to our parish and arrange for his initiation Sacraments, he could do so.

Were that to happen, I'm sure his mother would drag me to court. However, the U.S. Constitution's Free Exercise of religion clause applies to my son's right to choose a religion himself. The law has no set age for him to wait. A separated/divorced couple's divorce decrees apply only to them, not the children if they wished to act independently and had legitimate, reasoned causes for doing so.

The Church's rules prohibit me from enrolling my son at his age myself, so I would not be liable. The State cannot prohibit him from enrollment in the Church, and the law also prohibits his mother (or myself) from interference.

Even should my son meet his end before his baptism, the teaching of "baptism by desire" gives me assurance that these legal battles would not affect my child's salvation.

So age plays a serious factor here. Please use any advice you find here with care and do see an attorney as well as your parish priest and/or diocesan representative on such matters.

[clem456]

Originally Posted by YoungTradCath

I am certain that you can have your child baptized without his mother's consent. It is his soul at stake.

Whhhooooooaaa hold on a second. Baptism is good for the soul, but the behind- the- back move may cause some serious problems. Work on getting the consent. There are some legal issues here and as Catholics we do need to take those into consideration. And there are also some moral issues here as well between the parents and consent.

[Marchmain1987]

Please listen to the good advice on here and talk with your/a priest.

If you wish your child to be a Catholic, you may (more than likely) have to wait until he is of age to make-up his own mind to enter the Church if the mother objects.

But, if you are truly worried about your son’s soul, nothing prevents you from doing it yourself (and keeping it to yourself if you think the mother would have a problem).


But that is neither here nor there is it?

People do alot of things....

[benjohnson]

>>nothing prevents you from doing it yourself

Really? I would have never suspected that was allowed in the Catholic Church. I can't say I would recommend it myself, unless under the most dire of circumstances.

If you consider follow that advice, you must absolutely and unquestioning must vet the idea with someone with authority in your Catholic Church.

*If* that is allowed and *if* it is wise and you decide to do it, and you *can't* find someone to perform it properly, be every sure to follow the ritual exactly. I was baptized in a random presbyterian church and I'm not entirely sure that it was a triune baptism, so here I sit awkwardly wondering if I should get truly baptized or not.

[Marchmain1987]

1. It is allowed only in the most extreme cases – if the father truly fears for the soul of his son (e.g. if the mother wants the child raised in no faith at all or a church whose baptisms are not valid).

2. Of course, this may create problems between mother and father. Loose-lips-sink-ships.

3. From the CCC: “1256 The ordinary ministers of Baptism are the bishop and priest and, in the Latin Church, also the deacon. In case of necessity, anyone, even a non-baptized person, with the required intention, can baptize, by using the Trinitarian baptismal formula. The intention required is to will to do what the Church does when she baptizes. The Church finds the reason for this possibility in the universal saving will of God and the necessity of Baptism for salvation.”

4. Blessed Pope Pius IX comes to mind.

5. And I know of one case, personally, where a grandmother carried her grandchild to her priest because he was going to be raised a Protestant. The priest baptized him.

6. Of course, there would be no baptism certificate, etc. And that may create minor problems later on (then a priest might baptize just as an assurance of the validity of the baptism). But that would depend on the priest and circumstances.

[Myqyl]

Originally Posted by Mgray82

Thank you all for the replies and prayers.


I doubt his mother (she is in his life and i believe is a good mother) would think to highly of it. She considers herself as "not religious" even though she does believe in God or the idea of a God. I guess I would have to explore other options.

Depending on your son's age you can discuss it with him. I agree that it wouldn't be a good idea to do this kind of thing behind your ex's back. But if your son decides it's something he wants, your wife will likely agree (hopefully)

God bless

[Gertabelle]

Originally Posted by Mgray82

Thank you all for the replies and prayers.


I doubt his mother (she is in his life and i believe is a good mother) would think to highly of it. She considers herself as "not religious" even though she does believe in God or the idea of a God. I guess I would have to explore other options.

Your son's mom sounds something like my son's dad -- "spiritual, not religious."

When I returned to the Church after some 14 years away (and that return was most likely a factor in his asking for a divorce) I wanted to have our son -- then three and a half years old -- baptized. I thought my ex would never allow it. I put off asking him until about 6 months after the divorce.

His response: "Why not? It doesn't mean anything anyway." Well, I knew it meant something, but I wasn't going to argue with him.

Incidentally, our son now attends a Catholic school and just made his First Holy Communion -- which his dad attended! Of course, I have to pay the tuition myself, but that's a small sacrifice for the excellent Catholic education he's receiving at this school.

The point is, don't worry about her response just now. Get into RCIA, and get some people praying with you and supporting you. Let God work in the heart of your son's mom, and you'll know when it's the right time to ask her.

Gertie

[Rich C]

Absolutely. Our Lord came to save sinners like me and you. Anyone, I mean anyone, is welcome in the Church if they "repent and believe."

I'll say a prayer for you and your son.

[Diana Catherine]

Originally Posted by Rich C

Absolutely. Our Lord came to save sinners like me and you. Anyone, I mean anyone, is welcome in the Church if they "repent and believe."

I'll say a prayer for you and your son.