Am I under demonic posession/attack or is it all in my head?

[AnonymousBoy]

I am a 17 year old boy and Ive been fighting depression for a very long time and still am. Recently though I've been experiencing very bad things through life, such as constantly being alone, not having anyone to go to, thinking my dad is cheating on my mom, etc. I'll get straight to the point. Lately when I look in the mirror I don't see myself anymore, but some other side of me. I am going to be completely honest with these symptoms I have.

1. Because I think my dad is cheating on my mom (I found saved pictures of naked women on the computer and I then went on his history and saw him searching men seeking women on Craigslist) I cannot look at his face anymore or bare to talk to him. He doesn't know that I suspect something but I have so much rage inside against him.

2. I constantly feel as I am being watched when I'm alone.

3. I barely do the rosary, but when I do, I get blasphemous images in my head when I pray it, such as sexual things against religious items.

4. Often I hear inner voices in my head.

5. I feel as if in my home I hear voices and sounds.

6. I cannot talk to anyone about my depression nor do I want to.

7. Ive been going through excessive masturbation for a while now.

8. I go through mood swings that are not normal and happen very often. I can be happy this day and be sad the next.

9. When I'm mad I can't control myself and either curse really badly or go wild. I cannot control my anger.

10. When in church I often get distracted by the smallest things, causing me to not pay attention at all.

11. Often I find it hard to fall asleep.

12. I've gained a lot of pounds since the last month. My pants nor shirts (Medium size shirts) don't fit me anymore.

13. I have become really lazy lately.

14. I was that type of guy who could crack a joke and laugh with others and talk but for about a couple months now I've turned extremely quiet.

15. I went a week with straight nightmares. Every single day for a week.

16. I constantly have suicidal thoughts daily.

17. My concentration level had went down really badly.

Those are just some of my problems that I've been encountering with myself, but there's probably more. I don't know if it's a sin, but before I went online to see how tarot cards worked and also oijia boards and I kinda played around with the online version of it, but nothing happened. God forgive me that I did that.. Was it a sin that I did that? Please help me with this suffering. I am a catholic guy just looking for the peace of mind and comforting I've always wanted but never received. I don't know what to do from this point and I am still fighting the thoughts of suicidal thoughts. Please help me. Am I just going through teen depression or is something attacking me?

[Pat Payne]

Originally Posted by AnonymousBoy

I am a 17 year old boy and Ive been fighting depression for a very long time and still am. Recently though I've been experiencing very bad things through life, such as constantly being alone, not having anyone to go to, thinking my dad is cheating on my mom, etc. I'll get straight to the point. Lately when I look in the mirror I don't see myself anymore, but some other side of me. I am going to be completely honest with these symptoms I have.

1. Because I think my dad is cheating on my mom (I found saved pictures of naked women on the computer and I then went on his history and saw him searching men seeking women on Craigslist) I cannot look at his face anymore or bare to talk to him. He doesn't know that I suspect something but I have so much rage inside against him.

2. I constantly feel as I am being watched when I'm alone.

3. I barely do the rosary, but when I do, I get blasphemous images in my head when I pray it, such as sexual things against religious items.

4. Often I hear inner voices in my head.

5. I feel as if in my home I hear voices and sounds.

6. I cannot talk to anyone about my depression nor do I want to.

7. Ive been going through excessive masturbation for a while now.

8. I go through mood swings that are not normal and happen very often. I can be happy this day and be sad the next.

9. When I'm mad I can't control myself and either curse really badly or go wild. I cannot control my anger.

10. When in church I often get distracted by the smallest things, causing me to not pay attention at all.

11. Often I find it hard to fall asleep.

12. I've gained a lot of pounds since the last month. My pants nor shirts (Medium size shirts) don't fit me anymore.

13. I have become really lazy lately.

14. I was that type of guy who could crack a joke and laugh with others and talk but for about a couple months now I've turned extremely quiet.

15. I went a week with straight nightmares. Every single day for a week.

16. I constantly have suicidal thoughts daily.

Get to a mental health professional as fast as you can. Many of the symptoms that you are discussing may be attributed to mental illness, particularly the paranoia and the auditory hallucinations. The one that worries me the most is the suicidal thoughts, which if this is what I suspect it is (I am NOT in any way a licensed mental health professional, BTW, just a concerned person), it could easily translate into suicidal actions. While it's possible that these symptoms are being caused by demons, they could just as easily be a treatable mental disorder. For instance, you might (again, I am not a doctor and cannot diagnose) have bipolar disorder.

And talk to your local priest as well. He can't exorcise you -- that can only happen after a battery of tests, but perhaps he could give you a blessing or, if the situation is bad enough, Annointing of the Sick.

May God bless you and keep you, and may he give you the strength to bear up under and eventually overcome these problems.

[AnonymousBoy]

Originally Posted by Pat Payne

Get to a mental health professional as fast as you can. Many of the symptoms that you are discussing may be attributed to mental illness, particularly the paranoia and the auditory hallucinations. The one that worries me the most is the suicidal thoughts, which if this is what I suspect it is (I am NOT in any way a licensed mental health professional, BTW, just a concerned person), it could easily translate into suicidal actions. While it's possible that these symptoms are being caused by demons, they could just as easily be a treatable mental disorder.

And talk to your local priest as well. He can't exorcise you -- that can only happen after a battery of tests, but perhaps he could give you a blessing or, if the situation is bad enough, Annointing of the Sick.

May God bless you and keep you, and may he give you the strength to bear up under and eventually overcome these problems.

I'm sorry but I am not mentally sick. I'm a perfectly normal and healthy human being.

[Pat Payne]

Originally Posted by AnonymousBoy

I'm sorry but I am not mentally sick. I'm a perfectly normal and healthy human being.

You just said you were hearing voices, had paranoia as if someone was watching you and have have suicidal thoughts. None of those qualify, and sorry for the bluntness, as healthy or normal. I know from whence I speak, as I was suicidal for quite some time in my life also.

I really would urge you to get it checked out, just for your own safety. This does not mean you are completely round-the-bend, cukoo for Cocoa Puffs, rubber-room crazy by any means, but that you may have a chemical imbalance disorder that could be causing a lot of these problems and is easily treated.

[AnonymousBoy]

Originally Posted by Pat Payne

You just said you were hearing voices, had paranoia as if someone was watching you and have have suicidal thoughts. None of those qualify, and sorry for the bluntness, as healthy or normal. I know from whence I speak, as I was suicidal for quite some time in my life also.

I really would urge you to get it checked out, just for your own safety. This does not mean you are completely round-the-bend, cukoo for Cocoa Puffs, rubber-room crazy by any means, but that you may have a chemical imbalance disorder that could be causing a lot of these problems and is easily treated.

I don't see how this is all in my head. I know the difference Between something being in my head and something that is true. I am not mentally I'll. I'm just misunderstood and people take it the wrong way and think that I have a problem. Id rather avoid a mental specialist.

[Pat Payne]

Originally Posted by AnonymousBoy

I don't see how this is all in my head. I know the difference Between something being in my head and something that is true. I am not mentally I'll. I'm just misunderstood and people take it the wrong way and think that I have a problem. Id rather avoid a mental specialist.

At least do me the courtesy of talking to a priest that you trust about this. Or just SOMEONE, ANYONE that you trust -- a parent, a friend, a teacher, someone. I can assure you that as beautiful a creation as God made the mind, our fallen nature has given it the capacity to lie to us pretty convincingly and there are times where our own thoughts cannot be trusted. Coocooning and talking about it here where all we can do is send messages over the electronic aether is not going to help you as much as taling it out with someone who can be there for you and give you on-the-spot advice in depth. I know this is not what you want to hear, but I have been there, maybe not as severe as this, but I've been there and I do think you need some level of help. I don't want to see you risk your life, or your soul, needlessly.

[jenwha]

I agree with the last poster, as they said they by no means think you are crazy but the voices/paranoid thing makes me wonder about a possible mental problem....schizophrenics hear voices and sometimes this disorder comes out in adolescence. I understand you don't want to go to a mental health dr. but I really think you should just to rule out that it might be some psychological problem.

HOWEVER it does sound to me like it may be demonic attack since you mentioned a feeling of being watched and voices in your house. When I was about your age we had the same kind of phenomona in my house and there was definitely a supernatural presence in that house.

Or it may just be depression. You said you don't want to talk to anyone about it but antidepressants really really help, believe me! If you are depressed and have been for a long time you need to look into getting some help. There is nothing wrong with doing so, what do you have to lose? Also if you feel you can, please talk to your parents. If you don't want to talk to your dad, can you talk with your mom or any other adult you trust?

I would have a long heart to heart talk with God and go to confession, and make an appointment to talk to a priest at the least. Ask God to remove any supernatural or diabolical forces from your home.

Get rid of any occult type or pornographic materials before you do.

Please don't hurt yourself, my dad committed suicide and you don't want to ever do anything like that. I will pray for you tonight.

[MHT32]

No one wants to believe theyre mentally ill even though they might be. Even people in asylums think they are perfectly sane.

[R_C]

Originally Posted by AnonymousBoy

I'm sorry but I am not mentally sick. I'm a perfectly normal and healthy human being.

There is one thing that real demonic activities have in common: the devil will try his very best - and he is rather clever - to hide his presence.

There is also one thing - unfortunately - that most mental health issues have in common: the person is not aware of them, rather he or she feels normal.

In this case it may be very important to begin with medical visits. Even if the priest or bishop agree in that you may need to receive certain types of blessings, they usually do not perform anything until all medical explanations have been covered and medical treatment has proved inefficient.

Pax Christi tecum

[Delaine75]

Originally Posted by AnonymousBoy

I'm sorry but I am not mentally sick. I'm a perfectly normal and healthy human being.

Not trying to be rude, but what you listed doesn't sound perfectly normal or healthy. You definitely need to speak with a professional who can better help you. In the meantime, I will be praying for you.

[Joe 5859]

Benefitting from going to counseling does not make a person "mentally ill". We're all broken human beings. We all have issues. We could probably all benefit from a bit of counseling. So don't feel like you have to be ready for the asylum before considering that possibility.

Of course, I understand it's not an easy thing for a 17 year old to just pick up the phone book and make an appointment with a Counselor. Perhaps talking to your priest about it would be a better first step. At the very least, your priest would be in a much better position to offer you useful advice than us anonymous internet posters.

I highly recommend availing yourself of the Sacrament of Confession. It is a Sacrament of Healing for a reason. If you want to start restoring peace to your life, you need to receive this sacrament frequently (once every two weeks is what I'd recommend).

17 is a tough age. At least it was for me, too. I can sympathize. Becoming disillusioned with your parents is a tough thing to go through. Don't get too down on yourself. Sin is a choice. If you didn't know that messing around with Tarot cards was sinful, just resolve not to do it again and move on. We all get distracted in prayer at times. We all have unwanted images spring in our minds at times. What matters is not that it happens but what you do about it. Just push aside the distractions and keep your eyes fixed on Christ. If the distractions come back, push them aside again, as many times as it takes. It's all part of the spiritual journey.

But really, the best thing you can do is talk to your priest. I know it can seem intimidating, especially at 17. But that's what the priest is there for. If it's too scary a thought, start out by going to Confession. You can even do it behind a screen. You can work up to meeting and discussing these things face to face.

I will keep you in my prayers.

[AnonymousBoy]

Originally Posted by Delaine75

Not trying to be rude, but what you listed doesn't sound perfectly normal or healthy. You definitely need to speak with a professional who can better help you. In the meantime, I will be praying for you.

Thank you for the prayers and for everyone else who is praying for me. I don't know whats wrong with me, but I just hope I can survive it.

[ringil]

Originally Posted by AnonymousBoy

Thank you for the prayers and for everyone else who is praying for me. I don't know whats wrong with me, but I just hope I can survive it.

I am a licensed clinical social worker with years of experience in mental health settings.

If you feel alone, frightened, hopeless, or like you want to hurt yourself please call 1-800- SUICIDE. Everything is confidential and there is no pressure. Also, please speak to your parents or to someone you trust.

If you are thinking of hurting yourself or are hearing voices call 911. If you are worried you may hurt yourself or are hearing voices NOW then call 911 NOW.

You are important and meaningful help is available.

Your emotions and thoughts are nothing to be ashamed of. If what you write is true then I do believe you are in need of help.

God Bless you and may Mary shelter you under Her mantle.

[Lady Love]

I don't think you are crazy.

You said that you are mad at your father, "unforgiveness" is an open door to demon possession or oppression. Once demons find a crack they pick at it until it is a gaping wound.

Have you ever heard of an "Unbound conference"? Heart of the Father ministries is a Catholic deliverance ministry, although they do it for people of other denominations as well. I suggest looking up heartofthefather.com. It is just as easy to attend this conference as it is to go to counseling. If "Unbound" doesn't help then follow up with a counselor.

I also suggest going to reconciliation and confessing "unforgiveness toward your Dad."

Oh, just asking, have you hit your head recently? Been in a car accident or got a concussion? Many of those symptoms can be cause by minor head trauma.

[Gods_Peace]

Originally Posted by AnonymousBoy

Thank you for the prayers and for everyone else who is praying for me. I don't know whats wrong with me, but I just hope I can survive it.

You Will, Just cling to the God that can save you and deliver you to his heart. And keep a devotion to Our Glorious Lady of the Rosary.