Does your husband roughhouse with your son(s)?

[mrs_abbott]

Originally Posted by Red Meg

Hopelessly normal, typical, healthy male behavior.

Roughhousing is one of the many reasons babies come with a mother and a father... Men can't breastfeed, and most grown women I know just don't have the energy (or motivation or insanity or whatever) to hurl kids around the room for extended periods of time.

Margaret

So true, so true.

[tkdnick]

My brother and I used to rough house with my dad all the time. It was great fun!!!! It's all a part of growing up.

[jrabs]

My boys don't have a dad to wrestle with but love to wrestle with my BF when he visits.

I guess I never realized how much they missed the days when they would wrestle with their dad - and I finally have gotten to the point where I enjoy watching it. It's cute.

[jc-servant]

Originally Posted by armywife

Just be glad your husband isn't in the Army and want's to teach all the kids combatitives. He says it will come in handy later, especially for the girls.

"Sweetie, this is how you arm-bar a boy and this is how you can make him pass out... just press here for about 10 seconds."

My son is only three, so obviously they just play now, but later I know he'll be teaching him all that stuff and they will practice on each other.

Excellent Dad story!

My dear old Dad was career Air Force and he sometimes played rough with us girls (hat whacking wars, wrestling, squirt gun fights, etc) and gave great advice like your husband. He also let me enroll in karate in 8th grade and poor Mom ran out of my first demonstration fight with a large GI. She totally missed me whomping him in less than 2 minutes, throwing him to the ground and ending with my foot poised at his neck for the "kill." Mind you I've always been a combo of girlie-girl and Amazon warrior types thanks to the strong influence of both parents. I think your husband can instill a great confidence in your daughter (and son) that is different and complimentary to what they will learn from you. Thanks to Dad I never felt intimidated or lost my femininity as a female police officer or in my current career as an attorney.

God had a great plan with that whole man and woman thing.

[USCGwife]

...another rough-housing *Mom* here! Although I have to admit, another year or 2 and I'm going to have to back off the ice hockey challenges...once he starts checking, I think I'm in trouble

I totally agree with the other posters who spoke of "fair play" lessons, too - there *are* rules to follow. We all join in. (Good exercise, too.)

I'll add, too, that especially for boys, the rough play really helps blow off that head of steam so they can sit & focus on stuff when the time comes.

[Verita]

My husband has been rough-housing with our daughter since she was an infant. Some of their favorite games are "Brain sucking aliens" and fighting with wooden swords.

I can't even imagine what it will be like when we have a son.

[cmom]

I would actually be concerned if he didn't rough house around with the kids a bit.

[Catholic90]

I, too, used to roughhouse with my boys. We all loved it. Now two of three tower above me, so those fun and games are done (usually, although we still will tease or tickle each other).

Now my husband and sons will belly-buck each other. My son was also a center of the football team this year, so my husband has some big competition!

It's fun.

[BlestOne]

Hi My name is BlestOne and I am a roughhousing mom...oh wait wrong forum...my ex was a whimpy guy, so I played with the kids that way. My oldest is 19 and we still do...although boys are much bigger than I am..They just have to be a little more gentle. My daughter plays with the boys, but won't with me...I think it is just a big brother thing. I am now remarried and new hubby will play with them too but when I get involved he sits back and shakes his head and begs the kids not to "break" their mom.

Truly..I think it has been a very healthy outlet for all of us.

[BLB_Oregon]

Originally Posted by deb1

I remember reading somewhere that roughhousing actually teaches boys how to play fair. From what I read, boys learn rules of play from their dad. So, they learn self control through the rough housing.

For example, to a mother, her son is getting worked up and wild but in reality the father has set down rules for play that include, don't bite or kick etc. So, the boy is learning self control even when he is having fun.

I think this is true. If our boys don't follow the rules, their dad ends it, and that is that. Also, the boys themselves know that they can call it off at any time. It is supposed to be fun, not proving anything.

As the mom, though, I lay down some rules, too. None of that near the kitchen--I have kicked my DH and BIL out of the kitchen for violating that rule--and none of it in rooms with breakables. No slamming doors to protect yourself or to shut anyone inside a room, particularly not in chase games. No hitting the walls or using the walls for leverage. No hard objects allowed. Always on the carpet or out on the grass.

All but the most minor of violations stop the game. Major violations result in suspension of the game for some period of time. Mom doesn't mess around!

[littleone]

Hey! can I give a mans point on that?
Weeell it's the way we men NEVER really let go of the child in us. I have 5 children three boys and our lounge was the farm the train track, the music room, the..the..the anything else. It was all fun I was on the floor as much as the boys. My leggs were their slide my arms were the swing to flip the children onto my arms (when I was able age wise, until they got too big).

Now they are grown up all musicians, we all play but they also have their owm identity. after 15 years I am getting married in 5 weeks and when I asked my eldest if he would be my best man the other two want also to be up front with me. They also want to come with their music gear to play something for me and for me to sing something with them.
Two of my boys came to me earlier this year. Both on seperate occasions said that their friends wondered how come my boys know so much in life. Both told their friends that it is because dad taught us.
It was my enjoying them. I always relate this way. "Any man can be and is the dad, but it takes that special part to be the childrens friend"
That takes letting go letting God have a place, listening to our wife listening to the children even while you are playing on the ground with the children, to be that special person.
I am learning still.

You have this to look forward to.
God bless.

[kim3260]

My husband treated our first 3 babies (all girls) like little china dolls. But when our sons #4 & #5 were born he was so rough I got very angry and said STOP IT!
He would say "hey, toughen him up, he's a boy, you don't want a sissy" I love him yes but I admit he could be a jerk sometimes
Now with grandkids he is more mature and very loving and caring with both boy and girl children.
See they do grow up someday-----husbands

[JMJDevotee]

Well, I have 2 teen boys and a toddler and my 4th son-my DH....

They get to "horsing around" and the dog starts to barking and jumping (she is a lab we got when my youngest was 6 mos.) it is loud and crazy but a ton o' fun. It is good bc my teen sons (not his biological kids) know he loves them and treats them as he does the youngest (his biological child).

Yes it get loud and scary and the occassional boo boo ocurrs or something gets broken but it is bonding, quality time...although I would much prefer if they bonded while they did someting constructive (like change the oil or yardward work )

Pax

[Black Jaque]

Roughhousing is an important part of child discipline. As one poster noted it teaches the kids self-control.

I will add too that it teaches the kids just how strong Daddy is. In play Daddy can throw their little bodies around like a pillow.

This is why kids pay attention when Dad's voice gets stern. They know what he's capable of.

It also gives them a sense of security because they know Dad is "on their side". They sleep better when Dad is in the house.

It also teaches them to weigh cost-benefits. When I roughhouse with my kids, and one ends up crying, after checking them over for serious injuries I tell them to sit on the couch and decide whether the fun outweighs the owie. Within minutes they're usually back in the melee. Sometimes they stay out. That's their judgement.

[Rob's Wife]

Oh man - you bet! I actually do it way more than he does! I have no dignity when it come to getting those babies and toddlers to giggle and squeal and squirm. The older boys, not so much. Mostly because they are enough for each other without me at this point and they are old enough to feel very uncomfortable treating any girl that way, specially mom.

I agree it teaches them important skills. Stop means stop, to notice facial expression and body language to gage feelings (hurt, happy, sneaky..) to control their own physical strength (tickling vs poking, make sure you don't land on top of the little ones)... It's a huge social skill builder, imo.