A boy has a crush on my daughter

[whatevergirl]

Originally Posted by humble maid

To the OP:

It's reassuring to know that there are others who are dealing with the same issues. My daughter turned 12 and started highschool. Lately a boy has been calling her and I am not to keen on him; let's just say he seems to be playing the field. He also makes it a point to call all her other friends. I mean this kid must be full of self-assurance because he even accepted to come to an all girls party; he was the only boy there if you don't count the father who was watching over the kids. Nonetheless, my husband and I gave my daughter the talk and she was somewhat defensive but listened; they're at that stage where they think their parents are not so cool.

Anyway, I too won't allow my daughter to date but many seem to be eager for it such as her friend, which I spoke to her as well. First we had to define what 'dating' was. I simply stated that it is alright to have friends that are boys and socialize with them so long as it was in a respectable manner and to put into practice the christian values that I taught her.
Example she could go to the movies with a few friends in tow or hang out at the burger place from time to time. I must admit I would prefer that she meets kids that have strong moral beliefs and like to do stuff like spelling bee's or play chess or board games...you know the innocent, intellectual stuff.

We always try to teach our children to be leaders and not followers. Hopefully, she will respect the teachings we gave her and not be ashamed to follow them even if others ridicule her(easier said then done).

As for the boy who likes your daughter, well he sounds like a really nice guy; maybe you should ask him to come back in 10 years or so with a proposal. These guys are hard to come by especially in these parts. However he still has alot of growing up to do.

God Bless

I agree...he is a sweet boy.

A little update since posting this. She is still in a band with this boy, and recently, he invited a few of his friends to join the band...a major faux pas, not asking my dd what she thought of it. She is the lead guitarist, and her teacher (the boy's grandfather) thinks my dd has a lot of talent, so he wasn't happy with his grandson when he discovered the new ''additions'' to the band. My dd wasn't happy either, but wouldn't voice her opinion...but yesterday she had practice, and the boy apologized to my dd...said he was SO SORRY if he hurt her. He said, I wasn't thinking, I just thought it would be cool to add my friends, but I should have asked you and ''Jason,'' the other member of the band. Aw. (I'm thinking that his grandpa had him apologize) She said, no worries, I wasn't mad, but for a minute, I thought I was being replaced. He said...OH NO, NEVER! LOL Then, they had a great practice, they recently added a new singer who takes lessons there, as their previous singer dropped out. Then, they all walked to get a burger.

My dd said he is nice to have as a friend. He is very very respectful, and doesn't say anything beyond friendship things with my dd. I was very impressed that he apologized, he comes from a very kind family. My dd said that he told her his mom died when he was 7, from overdosing on alcohol. His dad remarried, and his stepmom teaches at the school, too. It's such a neat family! I feel very blessed that we discovered this school.

[humble maid]

Originally Posted by whatevergirl

I agree...he is a sweet boy.

A little update since posting this. She is still in a band with this boy, and recently, he invited a few of his friends to join the band...a major faux pas, not asking my dd what she thought of it. She is the lead guitarist, and her teacher (the boy's grandfather) thinks my dd has a lot of talent, so he wasn't happy with his grandson when he discovered the new ''additions'' to the band. My dd wasn't happy either, but wouldn't voice her opinion...but yesterday she had practice, and the boy apologized to my dd...said he was SO SORRY if he hurt her. He said, I wasn't thinking, I just thought it would be cool to add my friends, but I should have asked you and ''Jason,'' the other member of the band. Aw. (I'm thinking that his grandpa had him apologize) She said, no worries, I wasn't mad, but for a minute, I thought I was being replaced. He said...OH NO, NEVER! LOL Then, they had a great practice, they recently added a new singer who takes lessons there, as their previous singer dropped out. Then, they all walked to get a burger.

My dd said he is nice to have as a friend. He is very very respectful, and doesn't say anything beyond friendship things with my dd. I was very impressed that he apologized, he comes from a very kind family. My dd said that he told her his mom died when he was 7, from overdosing on alcohol. His dad remarried, and his stepmom teaches at the school, too. It's such a neat family! I feel very blessed that we discovered this school.

From mom to mom just keep vigilant over your daughter. We must never feel too comfortable. This doesn't mean we have to worry but always know what your daughter is doing and what her friends are up to. It's funny because I just had this talk with my daughter's bestfriend's mother. Keep vigilant, love unconditionally, communicate and be consistent and pray a lot.

God Bless.