Would this be consistent with a vocation to an order with a contemplative spirituality?
Now I know charismatic prayer and contemplative spirituality aren't at odds with each other, but for lack of a better way to express this I'm going to be using "charismatic" to mean the type of prayer I've been experiencing (letting the Holy Spirit move me physcially...I don't know how to adequately describe it but I can feel the Holy Spirit, and God has physcially drawn me closer to Himself present in the tabernacle...also moving my hands ect). This has been a normal occurance for me for almost two years. For lack of a better word I'm going to be using the term "contemplative" to mean prayer that is still. I feel strongly attracted to an order where their communal holy hour, the one time I prayed with them, was prayed in stillness. I would have felt too shy to allow the Holy Spirit move me physcially...and I'm not talking about anything crazy like getting up and dancing (not that there's anything wrong with that, lol)...just letting the Holy Spirit subtly move my hands. This inhibition may just be a natural result of not wanting to make myself that vulnerable the first time praying with people. Some of the sisters of this order ARE charismatic but their communal holy hour was the way I described it. I've wondered if perhaps God is calling me to a more charismatic order, but the only two I've found that may possibly work for I don't feel attracted to as I do this first order. I was sitting before the tabernacle the other day, telling Him all this...giving still prayer a shot and I DID have an intense experience of God, more intense than normal. But that was a one time thing and I don't want to be the one telling God how He can meet me. Can anyone relate to this in any way? Any advice?