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  #16  
Old Oct 25, '10, 7:08 pm
StFrancisXavier StFrancisXavier is offline
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Default Re: Shaky Marriage, Shaky Catholicism

The Scouts can't save his soul. Learning the faith will.
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  #17  
Old Oct 25, '10, 7:19 pm
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Default Re: Shaky Marriage, Shaky Catholicism

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The Scouts can't save his soul. Learning the faith will.
I understand this. 100%. I've been a Christian all of my life and place an immense amount of my time and energy into the church. Despite not being a Catholic yet, I agree 100% that Catholicism MUST come first if we are to become a Catholic family.

Please do not misunderstand me. This is why I clarified. I am not the one preventing this. My husband is the one who is insisting on the Scouts. Not me.

That said, I DO believe in my heart of hearts that as his wife I am to submit to his will according to the Bible. This is MY belief. He doesn't even agree with me on that. If this is his will, then I need to find a way to make it work. I'm doing everything that I can to keep him happy and to raise our son in the faith.
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  #18  
Old Oct 26, '10, 10:06 am
StFrancisXavier StFrancisXavier is offline
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Default Re: Shaky Marriage, Shaky Catholicism

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I understand this. 100%. I've been a Christian all of my life and place an immense amount of my time and energy into the church. Despite not being a Catholic yet, I agree 100% that Catholicism MUST come first if we are to become a Catholic family.

Please do not misunderstand me. This is why I clarified. I am not the one preventing this. My husband is the one who is insisting on the Scouts. Not me.

That said, I DO believe in my heart of hearts that as his wife I am to submit to his will according to the Bible. This is MY belief. He doesn't even agree with me on that. If this is his will, then I need to find a way to make it work. I'm doing everything that I can to keep him happy and to raise our son in the faith.
If his will is in contradiction to God's will, God comes first.
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  #19  
Old Oct 26, '10, 10:21 am
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Holly3278 Holly3278 is offline
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Default Re: Shaky Marriage, Shaky Catholicism

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10 years ago when my husband asked me to marry him less than 24 hours passed before I told him I was more than willing to convert to Catholicism as he is Catholic (then and currently non-practicing). My father and grandmother were both Catholic, as well as my brother (from my father's 2nd marriage). I feel a closeness with Catholicism that I don't feel with other more transient Protestant religions despite being raised in one.

I have made the offer to convert at least twice a year since that time. He has never accepted it.

All of a sudden, this past weekend, he admitted to me that he "didn't want to tell me what to do". I asked if it would please him if our family converted to Catholicism and he said yes and asked me to do research on the local parishes so I can "pick" which one I think would be best as he works Sundays and will not be able to attend Mass with us (there are no weekday Masses available where we live).

Yesterday I asked him what he would like me to look for and he basically told me that he doesn't care as long as we can find somewhere that we can do CCD around Boy Scouts (which unfortunately meets on Wednesday afternoons). What came next is what's causing me to question. He told me that under no circumstances will he allow our son to be taken out of Boy Scouts OR the troop he currently belongs to in order to "accommodate Catholicism".

This has placed me in a rather awkward and precarious position. I have always approached my Christianity with great love and respect. I have been active in my churches and greatly enjoyed making my contributions as an offering to Christ. I actually feel awkward and out of place when I can't worship the Lord by serving him. I truly believe we are to place NOTHING in higher importance than Him. This is especially true when raising children.

If I cannot find a CCD class that is not "interfering" with Scouting between the 4 parishes within an hour of our home, does anyone have any suggestions on how we should proceed? I feel my husband's staunch position that he will not "accommodate Catholicism" places me in a very precarious situation that Catholicism is not nearly as important to him as other life matters. While I agree that accommodating our son's only activity he does with DH is extremely important, I disagree that it should come before the Lord.

Thank you in advance for any help you can give me on this. It has placed me in a very awkward place of constant self-questioning about this entire process.

(Edited to fix my grammar and spelling mistakes)
What is there to accommodate? Is this Scout troupe very anti-Catholic? If so, train your son to do apologetics! Not only will that strengthen his faith, it'll help him to refute anti-Catholicism and possibly gain converts for Christ as well! I really don't understand what else there could be to accommodate unless this troupe has very liberal morals or something. If that's the case, again, apologetics will help! If it's anything at all to do with the Faith, apologetics can likely help out immensely.

That said, are Scout Troupes even allowed to discriminate based upon religion? I didn't think they were. I thought they were freely allowed to reject Atheists, those with no religion, and homosexuals but I had never heard of any other restrictions on membership before.
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  #20  
Old Oct 26, '10, 10:29 am
Bluegoat Bluegoat is offline
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Default Re: Shaky Marriage, Shaky Catholicism

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Originally Posted by Holly3278 View Post
What is there to accommodate? Is this Scout troupe very anti-Catholic? If so, train your son to do apologetics! Not only will that strengthen his faith, it'll help him to refute anti-Catholicism and possibly gain converts for Christ as well! I really don't understand what else there could be to accommodate unless this troupe has very liberal morals or something. If that's the case, again, apologetics will help! If it's anything at all to do with the Faith, apologetics can likely help out immensely.

That said, are Scout Troupes even allowed to discriminate based upon religion? I didn't think they were. I thought they were freely allowed to reject Atheists, those with no religion, and homosexuals but I had never heard of any other restrictions on membership before.
The issue is whether the scout troops meetings will interfere with the CCD classes.
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  #21  
Old Oct 26, '10, 10:34 am
dconklin dconklin is offline
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Default Re: Shaky Marriage, Shaky Catholicism

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Originally Posted by HAnne View Post
I have made the offer to convert at least twice a year since that time. He has never accepted it. All of a sudden, this past weekend, he admitted to me that he "didn't want to tell me what to do". I asked if it would please him if our family converted to Catholicism and he said yes and asked me to do research on the local parishes
One bit of caution came to me as I read your plea for help... Your conversion must be for you. It appears you are doing it for your husband or to please him. Do it for you and for God first. Think of it like the instructions the flight attendants give before a flight. "If the plane looses pressure, masks will drop down. Put your own mask on first then assist others." Eternity is a long time. Take your time and do everything well.

Homeschooling is a wonderful option! I would not start homeschooling your son until you have completed your preparations (think oxygen masks). Depending on your children's age(s) and if they have been catechized (been to CCD) they may need RICA for children. Many parishes do not allow parents to home-school for sacraments - but considering you are out in the sticks, they may have a variety of alternatives.

Prayers and blessings,
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  #22  
Old Oct 26, '10, 10:37 am
dconklin dconklin is offline
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Default Re: Shaky Marriage, Shaky Catholicism

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...train your son to do apologetics!
Whoa there! Hold on a second or a few years. We are talking about an uncatechized mother and son - not Church History major.
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  #23  
Old Oct 26, '10, 10:40 am
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HAnne HAnne is offline
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Default Re: Shaky Marriage, Shaky Catholicism

Ladies and Gentlemen, please allow a very humbled me a bit of clarification once again.

The Catholic man I am married to has post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) and a traumatic brain injury (TBI) from Operation Iraqi Freedom. Much as I would like to say "It's God's Word and there's not a cotton pickin' thing you can do about it." there is a measure of peace and stability that MUST be maintained in my home for the sake of my son. PTSD and TBI, for those who do not know, create extremely difficult living conditions for the family members and every last effort is often spent trying to prevent and control potential problems. I have spent nearly 6 years trying to hold my home together and clinging to Christ and His word to preserve my marriage.

My son is currently being trained in the ways of Christianity and I will be talking with the parishes to see if homeschooling the CCD material is a possibility due to the conflict and my deep desire to preserve what happiness still exists in our lives.

Again, I do not mean any disrespect to any of you. I am merely trying to explain that while this APPEARS to be a simple solution, in truth it is not.
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  #24  
Old Oct 26, '10, 10:52 am
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HAnne HAnne is offline
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Default Re: Shaky Marriage, Shaky Catholicism

Dave,

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Originally Posted by dconklin View Post
One bit of caution came to me as I read your plea for help... Your conversion must be for you. It appears you are doing it for your husband or to please him. Do it for you and for God first. Think of it like the instructions the flight attendants give before a flight. "If the plane looses pressure, masks will drop down. Put your own mask on first then assist others." Eternity is a long time. Take your time and do everything well.
This conversion is coming from within my heart. I have offered many times over the years "for him" but in the past 6 months been increasingly drawn to the Catholic faith. Since he told me he would encourage it I have poured my heart and soul into research and learning in hopes of not making a complete idiot of myself in RCIA. lol Truthfully, I have been surrounded by Catholics my whole life and am very comfortable with this decision. I know it will not be easy and I thank you for being concerned about where the desire for conversion is coming from. You are 100% right to question my motives and I sincerely hope the Priest will as well so I can carefully articulate them in person to someone who will be able to ask the right questions as God guides him.

Quote:
Originally Posted by dconklin View Post
Homeschooling is a wonderful option! I would not start homeschooling your son until you have completed your preparations (think oxygen masks). Depending on your children's age(s) and if they have been catechized (been to CCD) they may need RICA for children. Many parishes do not allow parents to home-school for sacraments - but considering you are out in the sticks, they may have a variety of alternatives.
We have only one child. He is not catechized because he's only 7. This is "the age" from what I understand in most parishes for that process to begin and I am eager to see him begin the process. It is possible (via already talking to 1 parish) that if we "miss" this year due to the current melee of happenstance that he can easily begin his catechism next year as most "2nd Graders" where I live are 8 and DS is still only 7 but considered 2nd Grade. Thank you for the hope and light you are giving me. I greatly appreciate your well thought out insight.


Quote:
Originally Posted by dconklin View Post
Whoa there! Hold on a second or a few years. We are talking about an uncatechized mother and son - not Church History major.
Yes, we are. I do not feel comfortable training my son in something I do not know and practice with this much gravity. While I am certainly not "self-qualified" to teach catechism, I am a lifelong Christian who is already training her son in the Bible. That said, once I have completed RCIA and been accepted into the Catholic Church I see no reason that I cannot use the many, many wonderful materials available to teach my son at home providing I am supervised by the Church and they are checking on my work. If the Church feels this is a viable option I will be more than happy to comply. If they do not, then I am more than willing to bend as much as I can.
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  #25  
Old Oct 26, '10, 10:55 am
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Default Re: Shaky Marriage, Shaky Catholicism

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I could KISS you!!!! (but I won't - I'm married! ) lol

I'm already a homeshooler with a son who is "2E" (special needs and gifted). Part of me was wondering if the CCD people were going to need help working with my son because of these issues. I had "heard" it might be possible to teach it at home but hearing it again is making my heart soar!!!
when you meet with the RCIA director at the parish you choose because it best meets your own personal needs at this time, be frank about the needs of the rest of the family, including the children, including special needs, and including schedule conflicts. There is a solution to every situation but it requires patience and creativity. You may very well find it prudent to complete your own religious formation first and then direct your attention to your children's needs. The grace pouring into your family in this way will do surprising things, even and especially for your husband. I see it every year, and it is why "ooooh I love my job."
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  #26  
Old Oct 26, '10, 6:16 pm
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HAnne HAnne is offline
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Default Re: Shaky Marriage, Shaky Catholicism

I am ECSTATIC to report that after talking to the 2nd set of parishes, they have 2 sets of CCD classes. One meets just down the street from our Scouts on the same day and ends 15 minutes beforehand!



May the Lord make a way when there isn't a way!!!!



My husband and I are going to meet with the lady who runs the CCD program tomorrow afternoon before the class starts and DS will start tomorrow. I'm so happy!!!

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