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Old May 10, '10, 12:14 pm
CatholicWifeMom's Avatar
CatholicWifeMom CatholicWifeMom is offline
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Default trying to forgive and forget...

My prayers go out to all those here who are struggling on the path to Heaven...

How do you forget the unfaithfulness of a spouse who has betrayed your trust so deeply and frequently with their addiction? With forgiveness comes the "move on" part and I was hoping somone may have suggestions...
I have been so angry and felt unvalidated...I feel like I may never be validated. That he may never understand to what magnitude he has affected me and our family. I know its wrong but I still fall in that trap! I want to uphold my vows and focus on Heaven but, LOL, "being human just really gets in the way!"
I would love to know how to put the past behind, rid myself of resentment and deal with the possibility of future problems. Maybe someone has some strength they could share with me?

~In Christ
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  #2  
Old Sep 27, '10, 5:56 pm
teetee teetee is offline
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Wink Re: trying to forgive and forget...

Catholicwifemom,
You never forget, that's the hardest part. Each time the memory surfaces the little details hurt so bad, I find that this prayer helps me a lot.

*Prayer in Time of Suffering

Behold me, my beloved Jesus, weighed down under the burden of my trials and sufferings. I cast myself at Your feet that You may renew my strength and my courage while I rest here in Your presence. Permit me to lay down my cross in Your Sacred Heart, for only Your infinite goodness can sustain me, only Your love can help me bear my cross, only Your powerful hand can lighten its weight. O Divine King, Jesus, whose heart is so compassionate to the afflicted, I wish to live in You, suffer and die in You. During my life, be to me my model and my support. At the hour of my death, be my hope and my refuge. Amen.

I have said this prayer maybe a hundred times but there were two, just two occasions when I was down like a minus million (trying to express how deep the hurt was) after saying this prayer I was like plus 10 million. The consolation was so great that it was pure sweetness/love. I have never in my entire life experienced anything like this. It has drawn me to be closer to HIM. I would go through all this again and suffer this whole ordeal again just to taste this sweetness one more time. At times I long for this so much, I actually ask to suffer again, I tremble when I ask this b/c I know the pain is too much I ask it with fear on my lips but I still long for this experience, its too beautiful to put it into words.*

Similarly, I was able to avoid hurting my dh back by repeating this "the need to serve my Lord should be greater" * I would say this often especially when I felt the need to snoop. I could have done a lot of nasty things and it was in my power even hurt dh more but I was strong enough not to.*

Lastly, I find I get tremendous consolation, courage, uplifting of spirit, healing, rest, happiness, mostly love engulfing me *by simply spending time with the blessed sacrament. Started doing this only after I tasted this "sweetness" *My dh and self have found a church where there is perpetual adoration and we both spend time there. *It surprises me that I have been able to forgive so easily it could be because I still love him very very much.
I do ten times more for dh than what I would have normally done. I do it simply because I love the Lord more.*
Another suggestion, read Fr Serpa's essay on the passion of Christ. *Christ went through, the same hurt, humiliation, rejection. Imagine yourself physically carrying that cross down your street and your neighbors, friends, those you thought were on your side now laughing, ignoring the fact that you are innocent, shouting that you be tortured, crucified and they glorify your dh but you only you know the truth and You still give up your life for them anyway, just because you love them. *Having carried my own cross I now truly understand what Christ went through.
I hope this helps I will pray for you today at the Blessed Sacrament.*
Teetee
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Old Jul 17, '11, 9:05 am
PrayingWife123 PrayingWife123 is offline
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Default Re: trying to forgive and forget...

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Originally Posted by teetee View Post
Catholicwifemom,
You never forget, that's the hardest part. Each time the memory surfaces the little details hurt so bad, I find that this prayer helps me a lot.

*Prayer in Time of Suffering

Behold me, my beloved Jesus, weighed down under the burden of my trials and sufferings. I cast myself at Your feet that You may renew my strength and my courage while I rest here in Your presence. Permit me to lay down my cross in Your Sacred Heart, for only Your infinite goodness can sustain me, only Your love can help me bear my cross, only Your powerful hand can lighten its weight. O Divine King, Jesus, whose heart is so compassionate to the afflicted, I wish to live in You, suffer and die in You. During my life, be to me my model and my support. At the hour of my death, be my hope and my refuge. Amen.

I have said this prayer maybe a hundred times but there were two, just two occasions when I was down like a minus million (trying to express how deep the hurt was) after saying this prayer I was like plus 10 million. The consolation was so great that it was pure sweetness/love. I have never in my entire life experienced anything like this. It has drawn me to be closer to HIM. I would go through all this again and suffer this whole ordeal again just to taste this sweetness one more time. At times I long for this so much, I actually ask to suffer again, I tremble when I ask this b/c I know the pain is too much I ask it with fear on my lips but I still long for this experience, its too beautiful to put it into words.*

Similarly, I was able to avoid hurting my dh back by repeating this "the need to serve my Lord should be greater" * I would say this often especially when I felt the need to snoop. I could have done a lot of nasty things and it was in my power even hurt dh more but I was strong enough not to.*

Lastly, I find I get tremendous consolation, courage, uplifting of spirit, healing, rest, happiness, mostly love engulfing me *by simply spending time with the blessed sacrament. Started doing this only after I tasted this "sweetness" *My dh and self have found a church where there is perpetual adoration and we both spend time there. *It surprises me that I have been able to forgive so easily it could be because I still love him very very much.
I do ten times more for dh than what I would have normally done. I do it simply because I love the Lord more.*
Another suggestion, read Fr Serpa's essay on the passion of Christ. *Christ went through, the same hurt, humiliation, rejection. Imagine yourself physically carrying that cross down your street and your neighbors, friends, those you thought were on your side now laughing, ignoring the fact that you are innocent, shouting that you be tortured, crucified and they glorify your dh but you only you know the truth and You still give up your life for them anyway, just because you love them. *Having carried my own cross I now truly understand what Christ went through.
I hope this helps I will pray for you today at the Blessed Sacrament.*
Teetee
I think I am going to start spending time with the Blessed Sacrament, I am in so much need of peace at this point. I know what I'm going through probably doesn't have a solution. My husband is living with another woman, although he claims he wants to return he says he doesn't want to hurt her. His priorities are not where they should be and I am having a hard time just letting go. I know only God knows what he has prepared for me. I wonder what is worst living away from husband and hoping he will return and living with a man who is constantly cheating. I don't believe either are worst, both situations are just as hurtful to wives, I pray that whoever is going through this finds a peace in God, which we so desperately need.
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Old Jul 17, '11, 9:12 am
PrayingWife123 PrayingWife123 is offline
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Default Re: trying to forgive and forget...

Quote:
Originally Posted by CatholicWifeMom View Post
My prayers go out to all those here who are struggling on the path to Heaven...

How do you forget the unfaithfulness of a spouse who has betrayed your trust so deeply and frequently with their addiction? With forgiveness comes the "move on" part and I was hoping somone may have suggestions...
I have been so angry and felt unvalidated...I feel like I may never be validated. That he may never understand to what magnitude he has affected me and our family. I know its wrong but I still fall in that trap! I want to uphold my vows and focus on Heaven but, LOL, "being human just really gets in the way!"
I would love to know how to put the past behind, rid myself of resentment and deal with the possibility of future problems. Maybe someone has some strength they could share with me?

~In Christ
I think the only way to get past it, is if he is committing to making the marriage work. I feel for you, I know what it is like to feel unvalidated. Believe it or not he might also feel the same and that is why he is looking for it elsewhere. At least that is what my husband said, that he felt like he was only a paycheck to this family, but now that he is living with another woman, that is what he really is (go figure). He now realizes what he had, and understands he got himself in deeper trouble and even so he's not willing to make it right. I also ask myself where will find the strength, I get it from hugging my kids and telling them each day that I love them, they tell me "Everything is going to be okay, we'll get through it" I feel I got the best in the end, my kids and with God's help, even though it doesn't seem like it right now We will learn to carry this cross. I believe something good has to come out of this horrible situation, I just get discouraged as to how long I have to endure it. You are in my prayers.
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Old Jul 26, '11, 3:24 pm
teetee teetee is offline
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Join Date: November 10, 2009
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Default Re: trying to forgive and forget...

Quote:
Originally Posted by PrayingWife123 View Post
I think I am going to start spending time with the Blessed Sacrament, I am in so much need of peace at this point. I know what I'm going through probably doesn't have a solution. My husband is living with another woman, although he claims he wants to return he says he doesn't want to hurt her. His priorities are not where they should be and I am having a hard time just letting go. I know only God knows what he has prepared for me. I wonder what is worst living away from husband and hoping he will return and living with a man who is constantly cheating. I don't believe either are worst, both situations are just as hurtful to wives, I pray that whoever is going through this finds a peace in God, which we so desperately need.
PrayingWife,

I feel your pain, but you've got to believe, HE is right there besides you, HE loves you very much, that's why HE has chosen you to carry this heavy cross.*
When you spend time at the Blessed Sacrament, you come face to face with your King, your best friend, speak to HIM with all your heart. Even if you don't say a word HE understands and knows how you feel. In HIM alone you will find all your strength & consolation.
Pray the Rosary daily with your family it is powerful.

You were chosen to carry this cross, its a privilege as in the words of St Francis :
The Everlasting God has in His wisdom has foreseen from eternity the cross He now presents to you as a gift from His inmost Heart. This cross He now sends you He has considered with His all-knowing eyes, understood with His divine mind, tested with His wise justice, warmed with loving arms and weighed with His own Hands, to see that it be not one inch too large and not one once too heavy for you. He has blessed it with His Holy Name, anointed it with His grace, perfumed it with His consolation, taken one last glance at you and your courage, and then sent it to you from heaven, a special greeting from God to you, an alms of the all-merciful love of God.

I will pray for you.
Love
Teetee
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