Is suicidal ideation a mortal sin?

[ForGood]

Hello all,

I've posted several times on here about my struggle... but as of late things are pretty bad. I feel as though I'm just faking my way through all the motions when underneath I find myself constantly thinking about suicide. I'm hesistant to talk about it with anyone b/c I'm afraid they will panic and I don't want that. Yes, it's a scary thing, but I know that I most likely will never act on my ideations - but sometimes I think my husband and children would be better off were I not here after the initial shock wore off.

I struggle with a long history of cyclical depression and now despair on top of that. Fighting off the despair is sometimes easy and sometimes difficult to impossible. This then leads to my thoughts of suicide. I don't know if I should confess it to my priest b/c I don't want him to panic, I don't want to burden him with it either. I don't want to talk to my husband about it b/c I'm afraid of what he'll think and the pressure it will put on him.

I don't know, I'm at a loss right now. I don't know whether I'm coming or going so I just keep doing in the meantime.

Thanks for any and all help or suggestions.

[ahs]

Talking about it is one of the most important things you can do. Your Priest needs to know what you are thinking as does your husband. Don't worry about what stress or panic someone will feel when you tell them. Your husband needs to know what you are going through because he is part of you, and if there is an issue (especially as heavy as this) he needs to come to terms with it and work it through with you and your Priest...and a couselor.

I've had a friend and a cousin who both comitted suicide. I even contimplated it myself once...or twice (toward the end of a 7-yr depression..long story). One of the most common comments from family and friends was "I never knew...". People who are suicidal can often also be deopressed and simply do not feel like talking about it (at least in my experience) and not-talking-about-it can lead to feeling that no one cares, because no notices the depression or angst you are experiencing. God did not make mind-readers...we must communicate our feelings and emotions and thoughts so that others will know.

So what if people "panic"? You can't control what other people feel and it is not your responsibility to protect their emotions. God gave us those emotions for a reason, and "panic" may be just what they NEED to feel so they can help you, or at least understand where you are in life.

"I don't know whether I'm coming or going so I just keep doing in the meantime." - Good, just keep doing and, while you are doing, do it for God. Every single thing you do, offer it to Christ...from sweeping the floors, to loving your husband...from lugging in the groceries, to putting the key in the into the car door...from tucking the kids in at night, to simply waking up in the morning...offer everything up to God and ask Him to be a part of it..."God, however simple or complicated this task is...I offer it up to You and I ask You to be a part of it."

"...but sometimes I think my husband and children would be better off were I not here after the initial shock wore off." - I assure you that noting is further from the truth. This is another thing (being here for your family) that you can offer to God as above.

[Fran65]

You sound very depressed. Believe me I know. Please talk to someone about how you are feeling.

And no, being ill (which is what is causing your feelings) is not a sin.

I'll post more when I have time.

God Bless

[jmj1984]

Originally Posted by ForGood

Hello all,

I've posted several times on here about my struggle... but as of late things are pretty bad. I feel as though I'm just faking my way through all the motions when underneath I find myself constantly thinking about suicide. I'm hesistant to talk about it with anyone b/c I'm afraid they will panic and I don't want that. Yes, it's a scary thing, but I know that I most likely will never act on my ideations - but sometimes I think my husband and children would be better off were I not here after the initial shock wore off.

I struggle with a long history of cyclical depression and now despair on top of that. Fighting off the despair is sometimes easy and sometimes difficult to impossible. This then leads to my thoughts of suicide. I don't know if I should confess it to my priest b/c I don't want him to panic, I don't want to burden him with it either. I don't want to talk to my husband about it b/c I'm afraid of what he'll think and the pressure it will put on him.

I don't know, I'm at a loss right now. I don't know whether I'm coming or going so I just keep doing in the meantime.

Thanks for any and all help or suggestions.

I will pray for you

However you absolutely MUST speak about this to your priest, even if it is only within the confessional, he and that sacrament will give the grace and spiritual direction necessary to overcome this struggle God willing. Put it this way just as if you don't tell a doctor whats wrong with you he cannot apply the right medicine so if you do not tell a priest about these struggles he cannot heal your soul. A priest will have been trained and experierned these sorts of things and much worse besides so i don't think you'll make him panic.

God Bless

Oh and no its not a sin unless you're inducing it on purpose, which I very much doubt, trust in God and in his suffering during his passion and death as well as the love his Most Sacred Heart bears for you.

[Rascalking]

Please, please, please get mental health counseling ASAP. Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.

Prayers your way.

[SecretGarden]

I think you should be upfront with your husband about what you are dealing with. Depending on the age of your kids, you should mention something is wrong but you are getting help. Kids have a sixth sense about these things and they generally know when something is wrong.

Seeing your priest is a must. He needs to know this and he might be able to recommend a Christian psychologist to help you through this.

Remember there is no shame in having these thoughts, it's what you decide to do with them is what matters the most. If people panic it's because they care. Your kids and husband love you and I know deep down you also love them.

An idea to help you work through these thoughts, try to paint, write in a journal get your emotions out using some form of art work. When things are really bad, pick up the rosary and pray it. Pick up the Bible and read it. I can suggest some uplifting passages to read if you want. God loves you and he wants to hear your voice. He loves you and will help you work through this difficult time.

As the Footprint poem states:

"I was walking along the beach with my Lord.
Across the dark sky flashed scenes from my life.
For each scene, I noticed two sets
of footprints in the sand,
one belonging to me
and one to my Lord.

When the last scene of my life shot before me
I looked back at the footprints in the sand.
There was only one set of footprints.
I realized that this was at the lowest
and saddest times of my life.
This always bothered me
and I questioned the Lord
about my dilemma.

“Lord, you told me when I decided to follow You,
You would walk and talk with me all the way.
But I'm aware that during the most troublesome
times of my life there is only one set of footprints.
I just don't understand why, when I needed You most,
You leave me.”

He whispered, “My precious child,
I love you and will never leave you
never, ever, during your trials and testings.
When you saw only one set of footprints
it was then that I carried you.”

Margaret Fishback Powers


Source:
http://footprintspoem.ca/

God is carrying you as we speak. I hope you will find that help that you need and please continue to post your questions on Catholic forum. We are all strangers but we are united by Christ's love and it's for that reason we will help you with your questions and support you as much as we can. God loves you and he loved you so much that he: "For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life." (James 3:16)

God Bless and good luck,
SG

[Monicad]

Dear one thank you for coming here and sharing this painful story. It was good that you took the time to make your post, I am praying for you.

You are not alone, you are not in this battle alone but you feel alone. Turn to your husband and let him know. Get the help you need there is help.

Jesus loves you so much and he does not want you to live this life of despair. There is joy! Joy awaits you! Get all the help you can, seek counseling, a doctors help, talk to your husband, talk to your priest, attend a healing Mass, use Holy Water, pray the rosary...lets do all we can to save your life it is worth it! Please take care as best as you can.

[Jaypeeto4]

Dear ForGood,

I am so sorry that you are going through all this.

No matter HOW dark it gets,
KEEP ON "holding on," and "keep on" fighting.
Pray, and pray, and pray, then pray some more.
As others have suggested, use holy water, use the sacraments,
talk to your priest,
and most definitely have your priest recommend a good,
Christian psychiatrist/psychologist for you and see him or her RIGHT AWAY.
You may need some medication in addition to spiritual tools,
because many times this problem is caused by a
chemical imbalance in the brain. Do not try to go this alone.
And DO talk it over with your husband especially, as you need his prayers, too.
Also, pray THE CHAPLET OF THE DIVINE MERCY for your needs,
and pray to Saint Faustina Kowalska and ask her to intercede for you.
God bless you, dear friend.
Jaypeeto4

[Nausicaa]

Suicidal ideation is NOT a sin. Thinking that it is will only drive you deeper into sadness, and that's not helpful at all.

Talking to a doctor/friend/anyone will help. You're only doing yourself a disservice if you keep it to yourself.

Stay strong!