Importance of Virginity

kmo_9000 · #1 Oct 18, '11, 2:15 pm

I know the question may seam kinda random but It's something that's been on my mind.

I'm currently single and I don't know too many Catholic or even christian girls. The ones I do know don't live close and already have boyfriends (which soon become engaged). I guess the question may also come out of some temptations I am facing.

Anyway mainly from the perspective of if you are single or when you were single, how important is it that the man or women you meet and eventually marry be a virgin?

I only ask this because really when you ask this anywhere else people talk about it as if its a naive question. They will say "don't save yourself because she obviously isn't." The secular culture sees sex as something your suppose to "achieve" when your around 20 or so. I really don't have anyone to ask this type of question so I'll ask it here.

saribee · #2 Oct 20, '11, 6:05 pm

It is extremely important that the man I eventually marry shares the same love I do for God.

I respect a person even more when I know they have struggled in their life--that faith hasn't come easily for them. I would be okay with a husband who is not a virgin but has repented and really worked through his past. I would respect a man even more for going through an immoral time in his life then finding God afterwards.

I would worry about him comparing me to the other woman/women, but other than that, in order to marry someone, you have to respect them and love them. You have to respect their past and even come to terms with it yourself. When you marry someone, they bring their past with it. If you are the jealous type of person, it may be harder for you to accept a spouse's past bad decisions.

I'm not saying that you should settle for less because you feel like you do not have options. I go to a Christian college and I know many wonderful, Godly guys who I love immensely, but they are only interested in being friends. I am afraid that everyone I meet will always want to be just friends. But I am accepting it for now and spending time with these amazing brothers in Christ that I have and learning everything I can from them about how a man of God should act.

joshrp · #3 Nov 16, '11, 11:36 am

If a young woman has had sexually activity, is she repentent? Does she love God totally? You've got to put God and His love first before all other loves. Anything you do with another person without a God-ordered love is only going to hurt the person you are doing it with. Be adamant about God. I mean seriously adamant. Be open and honest with the women you have relationships that you mean this seriously. Focus on being filled with God's love for Himself and all of His children. Women who have this quality in their souls are much more fulfilling to be friends with, as well as eventually a possible wife. Don't sell yourself or any woman short. Catholicism is not primarily about a moral code, but it is about how to return to God. If you marry, marry for the sake of bringing people to God by your example. If you have children, have them in order to lead more souls to God. God thirsts for us to be in communion with Him. Prioritize allowing God to infuse you with His divine love for all people, and do not do anything without this intention. Sometimes we can all become obsessed with what will make us happy or fulfilled and we just don't let ourselves be happy with the fact that God's love fulfills us. When you meet a young woman, ask God to infuse her souls with His love. Spend your time praying for women instead of obsessing over their sexual history. Stop judging them and start praying for them. And here is one more piece of advice. Do not marry someone who is not passionate about praying with you. If they find adoration or the rosary, or Mass boring, do not marry them. Be adamant that they have to be serious about Communion with the Lord, especially in the Eucharist. If they have no real communion with Christ, your communion to each other will be unfulfilling. You have to love the woman with that kind of love that you just want them to be with the Lord to the fullest degree of glory imaginable. We always sell each other short today. We are satisfied with the most fleeting pleasures and we do not thirst, ache, hunger, pine for the Lord. Marriage is about this kind of intimacy, where you thrist for the Lord together, and you are so close that it becomes an ecsatic prayer with each other to be embraced by the Savior of the world for all eternity with the full Communion of Saints in Heaven.

Godisgreat23 · #4 Mar 19, '13, 3:39 am

I've made a thread on this subject here. I do believe its very important its a dying virtue and you never find these virtues these days but I'm sure there are devout Catholics who do practice this heavenly virtue. The biggest question you have to ask yourself how bad do you want heaven and are you willing to do anything to get there?

http://forums.catholic.com/showthread.php?t=764970