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  #1  
Old Feb 9, '12, 7:15 am
dspillers dspillers is offline
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Default Can I become Catholic?

I have a long and pretty complicated question. I will start with my background. I was raised with NO religion in my life. I was never baptised and never attended church growing up. I married a Lutheran in her church and we had two kids together. That did not work out and we are now divorced. I remarried a catholic, we got married at the courthouse. We have a child together. He is 6 and is taking CCD classes. I am interested in what he is doing and have been comtemplating becoming catholic since I met my wife. I began RCIA classes four months ago. I am most of the way through when last week my preist asked for me to come see him on a Saturday. He then told me since I was married in a Lutheran church I am considered still married by the catholic church and am not able to be married in the catholic church nor would I be able to complete my sacrements until I petitioned to have my previous marriage annuled. Then he found out that I had a vasectomy after my last son was born and then said I would not be able to be married inthe catholic church.

I really feel unwanted and am not sure that Catholic is the right way way for me much less to raise my kids with such lack of acceptance.
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  #2  
Old Feb 9, '12, 8:30 am
tugbaby tugbaby is offline
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Default Re: Can I become Catholic?

Quote:
Originally Posted by dspillers View Post
I have a long and pretty complicated question. I will start with my background. I was raised with NO religion in my life. I was never baptised and never attended church growing up. I married a Lutheran in her church and we had two kids together. That did not work out and we are now divorced. I remarried a catholic, we got married at the courthouse. We have a child together. He is 6 and is taking CCD classes. I am interested in what he is doing and have been comtemplating becoming catholic since I met my wife. I began RCIA classes four months ago. I am most of the way through when last week my preist asked for me to come see him on a Saturday. He then told me since I was married in a Lutheran church I am considered still married by the catholic church and am not able to be married in the catholic church nor would I be able to complete my sacrements until I petitioned to have my previous marriage annuled. Then he found out that I had a vasectomy after my last son was born and then said I would not be able to be married inthe catholic church.

I really feel unwanted and am not sure that Catholic is the right way way for me much less to raise my kids with such lack of acceptance.
There are fantastic resources on the web that talk about the issues you raise. I know the Church can seem legalistic, but bear with her. I was fortunate to have a Pastor that was also a Cannon Lawyer when I started my annulment process. If you had never been baptised you will, most likely have a fault of form anullment. that is a paper exercise that documents the facts of your first marriage. The Beauty of the Churh is how strongly she defends the sacraments. consider it a background check that is protecting you from making a big mistake with your soul as well. God Bless you on your Journey into the Church.
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  #3  
Old Feb 9, '12, 9:44 am
SonCatcher SonCatcher is offline
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Default Re: Can I become Catholic?

It is still possible but may take a bit more time than expected.

Your priest is correct about the annulment. Your previous marriage will have to be investigated for validity.

He may have left out detail concerning the vasectomy. You do have to repent of it (you are not required to attempt a reversal) but it is not an absolute impediment to being married in the Church. Read what the staff apologists have to say about it.
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  #4  
Old Feb 9, '12, 10:33 am
St Francis St Francis is offline
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Default Re: Can I become Catholic?

Quote:
Originally Posted by dspillers View Post
I have a long and pretty complicated question. I will start with my background. I was raised with NO religion in my life. I was never baptised and never attended church growing up. I married a Lutheran in her church and we had two kids together. That did not work out and we are now divorced. I remarried a catholic, we got married at the courthouse. We have a child together. He is 6 and is taking CCD classes. I am interested in what he is doing and have been comtemplating becoming catholic since I met my wife. I began RCIA classes four months ago. I am most of the way through when last week my preist asked for me to come see him on a Saturday. He then told me since I was married in a Lutheran church I am considered still married by the catholic church and am not able to be married in the catholic church nor would I be able to complete my sacrements until I petitioned to have my previous marriage annuled. Then he found out that I had a vasectomy after my last son was born and then said I would not be able to be married inthe catholic church.

I really feel unwanted and am not sure that Catholic is the right way way for me much less to raise my kids with such lack of acceptance.
Unless there is another aspect to your situation, either you priest was mistaken or you misunderstood. You will need to have your first marriage investigated and possibly annulled,

I suggest that you call your diocese and ask to speak with a canon lawyer at the Tribunal. If you still have trouble, let me know via pm and I will tell you how to get in touch with a group that helps people with these types of problems (totally licitly!).
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"The Church is intolerant in principle because she believes; she is tolerant in practice because she loves. The enemies of the Church are tolerant in principle because they do not believe; they are intolerant in practice because they do not love."
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  #5  
Old Feb 9, '12, 10:36 am
St Francis St Francis is offline
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Default Re: Can I become Catholic?

And welcome to the Church. It is a shame they waited so late to discuss all this with you, as your entry will probably be delayed, but you may attend Mass, not receiving the Eucharist, and you and your wife (who should also not be receiving) can pray and get involved in parish activities. I can assure you that you will be welcome there
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"The Church is intolerant in principle because she believes; she is tolerant in practice because she loves. The enemies of the Church are tolerant in principle because they do not believe; they are intolerant in practice because they do not love."
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  #6  
Old Feb 10, '12, 7:29 am
dspillers dspillers is offline
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Default Re: Can I become Catholic?

Thank you and everyone that has responded, I appreciate all the information I can gather. I meet every Thursday night for RCIA classes and last night gave the church my marriage, divorce and all paperwork. they are going to take it to the Cannon lawyer and let me know. I am short on time, I am supposed to make my Rite of Election on Feb 26th. My preist is not sure if I can do that until all of this is resolved, but says he should have answers after seeing the Cannon lawyer. Does anyone have information in this regard?
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  #7  
Old Aug 30, '12, 10:38 am
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Quaesitor Quaesitor is offline
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Default Re: Can I become Catholic?

Quote:
Originally Posted by SonCatcher View Post
You do have to repent of it (you are not required to attempt a reversal) but it is not an absolute impediment to being married in the Church. Read what the staff apologists have to say about it.
Sorry for bringing up an old post, but since he hasn't been baptized into the church yet, why would he have to repent? Wouldn't the sacrament of baptism wash away the sin of getting the vasectomy?
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Old Oct 1, '12, 2:46 pm
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Old Oct 23, '12, 3:51 am
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Old Oct 24, '12, 8:56 pm
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  #11  
Old Oct 24, '12, 9:28 pm
CatholicRaven CatholicRaven is offline
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Default Re: Can I become Catholic?

Even though this is an older post, I thought I'd address this:

Quote:
Originally Posted by Quaesitor View Post
Sorry for bringing up an old post, but since he hasn't been baptized into the church yet, why would he have to repent? Wouldn't the sacrament of baptism wash away the sin of getting the vasectomy?
He wouldn't necessarily need to receive the sacrament of Reconciliation (Confession), but he would still need to repent. I think you may be confusing the two. To repent means to be sorry for it.

HTH!
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  #12  
Old Nov 26, '12, 7:31 pm
MaryT777 MaryT777 is offline
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Default Re: Can I become Catholic?

Quote:
Originally Posted by dspillers View Post
Thank you and everyone that has responded, I appreciate all the information I can gather. I meet every Thursday night for RCIA classes and last night gave the church my marriage, divorce and all paperwork. they are going to take it to the Cannon lawyer and let me know. I am short on time, I am supposed to make my Rite of Election on Feb 26th. My preist is not sure if I can do that until all of this is resolved, but says he should have answers after seeing the Cannon lawyer. Does anyone have information in this regard?
Mary: I hope since this post is a while ago the Canon lawyer was able to answer your questions.
My prayers for you that you will find answers to your questions and enter in the Church.
Peace in Christ,
Mary.
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Old Nov 29, '12, 6:20 am
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