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  #31  
Old Jan 4, '12, 12:52 pm
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ATeutonicKnight ATeutonicKnight is offline
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Default Re: Discernment & a porn/masturbation addiction

Quote:
Originally Posted by vacation92 View Post
Hi all!

Ever since I could remember I always considered a vocation to the priesthood. In fact, many in my family always said I would be a priest (as well as a couple priests and sisters). I go through phases of preferring the priesthood and married life. I want to start really discerning my call. The one problem is that I have had a pornography and masturbation addiction since the 7th grade and I am now a freshman in college. Honestly, I want to stop, but it is difficult. The most I could go without masturbating is a week it seems like. My body caves in. I feel like St. Paul,"I don't really understand myself, for I want to do what is right, but I don't do it. Instead, I do what I hate."

I am hoping to work within my next few years of college to kick the habit however, I want to do it now. I want to be rid of it as soon as possible.

Will this effect my chances of joining the priesthood? I want to stop so that I can fully and better discern my vocation.

God bless you all.
Sorry it took so long to get back to you.

The way that I finally stopped was getting serious about prayer and the Sacraments, as well as watching what I was doing. Make sure that you pray one Our Father, one Hail Mary, and one Glory Be every morning when you wake up. Then, if you have the time but if you don't it's fine, do the same as a "mid-day prayer", and if you like you can do what I do and add a few other prayers that you like to that. If you have the time, do the Chaplet of Divine Mercy everyday at three o'clock, preferably. Then, one of the non-negotiable's is to pray the Rosary everyday when you have the time. And finally, right before you go to bed, do the same that I mentioned when you wake up, and then say the Act of Contrition, as well as the prayer to Saint Michael the Archangel. With all of these prayers, ask God for help with your schooling, as well as for the strength to stop these addictions. If you like, I would also recommend doing Novenas to some favorite Saints of yours. The best Saint in my opinion to pray for in this situation is Saint Augustine, who knew first-hand just how terribly difficult lust is to stop.

Then, if you do these things, frequent the Sacrament of Confession. Go to Confession every week, or whenever necessary (Which, when you first try to stop, can sometimes be everyday). Find a confessor that you really like and stick with him. The more he knows about you and your sins, the better. It is then that he can view your patterns, see what you're struggling with, and give you great advice. Sometimes you have to ask for advice, but trust me when I say that asking for advice is almost always a great idea.

Once you do this, go to receive the Eucharist as much as possible. There is enough graces and power in one Host to make each and every one of us a Saint. Don't be afraid to use such a blessing!

Also, watch what you do. Figure out where you are most likely to be tempted to sin, and avoid it as much as possible. Remember that a part of the Act of Contrition is "to avoid the near occasion of sin". People always complain that it's difficult to stop sinning, and yet they always walk straight into the scene of the crime. For some, the shower is where you will find most temptation. This is where I think one of Saint Francis' three ways to stop lust comes in handy. The three are running, discipline, and cold streams of water. Since I didn't have access to a nice cold stream of water, I used the shower instead, which worked out to my benefit. I had a lot of problems with the shower, so I would always cut the time that I spent in there, and, when I was tempted, I would turn the cold water on. Trust me when I say that nothing douses the flames of lust like cold water!

I would also recommend looking at the music you listen to. I always complained how difficult it was to stop lusting, and yet I was listening to AC/DC, Guns N' Roses, Aerosmith, Motley Crue, and all the like. Remember that you are what you listen to, read, and watch. If you watch inappropriate shows with crude humor, stop immediately! If you read books that tempt you, throw them away. I know that it's not easy to throw away your favorite shows and CD's, since I aspired to be a Rock Star and the last thing I wanted was to throw away my beloved music. However, after I got rid of it, I never looked back. Even though I loved those songs, I recognized that they lasted minutes, while hellfire lasted an eternity.

And finally, I would say perseverance is most important. Never lose hope, and never give up. It ultimately takes patience to break this. It won't happen overnight, and don't act like it will. Chastity speaker Jason Evert and the new Catholic Answers Apologist Matthew Fradd have some great information and advice on perseverance, and great information on how to stop completely like I finally did, so I would recommend looking into them.

You'll be in my prayers.

Dominus Vobiscum.
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  #32  
Old Jan 4, '12, 5:42 pm
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pgnat1 pgnat1 is offline
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Default Re: Discernment & a porn/masturbation addiction

I am 15 and discerning... I know we are growing up in a world where that temptation is only a click away unfortunately... However, there is great news! And the news is that God is calling All of us even in times of darkness. I think if you look back at history, there has always been a porn/masturbation problem. The thing about the 21st century that is different though is the technology, and how I mentioned the temptation is only a click away... Look at the statistics in the U.S. The number of overall priests is down. I think it has something to do with all the "stuff" that is going on now. In the "Fishers with Men" vocational video, they mention that many people are probably not answering the call. I believe that. It is because of distractions that they are not answering the call. I know we are all sinners, but if we look to God, we can be better as Catholics. Recently, I started my own little reflection/prayer/saint of the day journal on my laptop. It has really helped me with hearing God's call. My advice to you is stay close to God. We know as humans we are always going to sin sometime. It is how you handle it when you sin that helps you stay close to God. Remember to always love Him. You are in my prayers! Never lose hope.

Peace Bro,

Paul

"For nothing is impossible with God." Luke 1:37
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  #33  
Old Jan 6, '12, 10:32 am
Cruikshank_s Cruikshank_s is offline
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Default Re: Discernment & a porn/masturbation addiction

Quote:
Originally Posted by anruari View Post

In many ways this is much like Smoking. Smoking is a grave sin against the commandment "Thou shalt not kill". it is a form of slow suicide.
but while caught in the addiction, the individual cigarette carries less cause for guilt due to the mitigation caused by the addiction.
It is the addiction that needs to be broken. permitting that to continue is the greater sin. That is the attachment to / enslavement to sin which destroys our relationship with ourself, those around us - especially family - and God.

-
I really hate to derail the conversation, but this caught my eye and kind of bothered me. I have never heard smoking referred to as being grave matter i.e. possibly a mortal sin. Never. Could you let me know where you heard this?
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  #34  
Old Feb 13, '12, 10:12 am
jesusmylover jesusmylover is offline
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Post Re: Discernment & a porn/masturbation addiction

Quote:
Originally Posted by vacation92 View Post
Hi all!

Ever since I could remember I always considered a vocation to the priesthood. In fact, many in my family always said I would be a priest (as well as a couple priests and sisters). I go through phases of preferring the priesthood and married life. I want to start really discerning my call. The one problem is that I have had a pornography and masturbation addiction since the 7th grade and I am now a freshman in college. Honestly, I want to stop, but it is difficult. The most I could go without masturbating is a week it seems like. My body caves in. I feel like St. Paul,"I don't really understand myself, for I want to do what is right, but I don't do it. Instead, I do what I hate."

I am hoping to work within my next few years of college to kick the habit however, I want to do it now. I want to be rid of it as soon as possible.

I also have to watch religious movies, nice music, and reduce your internet connexion.

Will this effect my chances of joining the priesthood? I want to stop so that I can fully and better discern my vocation.

God bless you all.

Hey Vacation,

Thanks to have shared here you experience. Firstly, be assured by my prayer from today.

I understand what you are living now, because it was my case many years ago. I just want to share with you what was possible for me.

Pornography and masturbation was my great problem in the past, and i started to speak about that with my Spiritual Director. It's really important for you, because that helped me too much. It was capital in the process.
The spiritual direction helped me to leave slowly and slowly the pornography by internet, i put the prayer in the centre of my life, because it's not possible without the Christ help.
In the beginning, my Spiritual Director proposed me a meeting every week, and when all was going well, we met twice a month.
Believe me : Prayer, Spiritual Direction, Lectio Divina, Mass, Sacraments, Adhesion to the catholic association at Parish....
All that took me more than 6 months to started to see the chance in my life. You have to tell all to your spiritual director, be in the truth with him.

When it's difficult, just look Jesus and Believe hard in Him. With him all it's possible, all...

Today,
I'm happy in my Christian life, and i asked my admission last November in the seminary. I am ready today to give all my life to Christ. I live in the chastity today, in the continence because of jesus, not me.
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  #35  
Old Feb 15, '12, 5:05 am
rjcuraj rjcuraj is offline
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Default Re: Discernment & a porn/masturbation addiction

Hello,
Yes porn and masturbation are very hard to over come. Put your faith in God get on your knees and beg Him to help you. I make it sound so easy yet I know from personal experience that it is not. My addiction prevented me from entering the diaconate. The questions were asked and I answered honestly and came face to face with my demon. I still struggle with it. As St. Paul struggles in 2 Corinthians 12:7-9
7 Therefore, that I might not become too elated, a thorn in the flesh was given to me, an angel of Satan, to beat me, to keep me from being too elated.
8 Three times 4 I begged the Lord about this, that it might leave me,
9 but he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for power is made perfect in weakness." I will rather boast most gladly of my weaknesses, in order that the power of Christ may dwell with me.God is healing me one day at a time.I caught my addiction at 57 years of age.You are much younger and I know God will heal you! Please check this Web Site <http://www.newevangelizationministries.org/bio.htm> read the story of Deacon Ralph Poyo. Deacon Ralph does many talks at Franciscian University In Steubenville, Ohio. <http://www.franciscan.edu/conferences/main.aspx> He is speaking at the Priest,Deacon and Seminarian Retreat and probably the High School youth Conferences. Please check him out he and his witness are very helpful. Deacon Ralph can show you how he did it.

PEACE
Rick
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  #36  
Old Feb 15, '12, 10:04 pm
ATeutonicKnight's Avatar
ATeutonicKnight ATeutonicKnight is offline
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Default Re: Discernment & a porn/masturbation addiction

Quote:
Originally Posted by rjcuraj View Post
Hello,
Yes porn and masturbation are very hard to over come. Put your faith in God get on your knees and beg Him to help you. I make it sound so easy yet I know from personal experience that it is not. My addiction prevented me from entering the diaconate. The questions were asked and I answered honestly and came face to face with my demon. I still struggle with it. As St. Paul struggles in 2 Corinthians 12:7-9
7 Therefore, that I might not become too elated, a thorn in the flesh was given to me, an angel of Satan, to beat me, to keep me from being too elated.
8 Three times 4 I begged the Lord about this, that it might leave me,
9 but he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for power is made perfect in weakness." I will rather boast most gladly of my weaknesses, in order that the power of Christ may dwell with me.God is healing me one day at a time.I caught my addiction at 57 years of age.You are much younger and I know God will heal you! Please check this Web Site <http://www.newevangelizationministries.org/bio.htm> read the story of Deacon Ralph Poyo. Deacon Ralph does many talks at Franciscian University In Steubenville, Ohio. <http://www.franciscan.edu/conferences/main.aspx> He is speaking at the Priest,Deacon and Seminarian Retreat and probably the High School youth Conferences. Please check him out he and his witness are very helpful. Deacon Ralph can show you how he did it.

PEACE
Rick
So, did you ever enter the Diaconate?
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  #37  
Old Feb 15, '12, 10:20 pm
Qoeleth Qoeleth is offline
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Default Re: Discernment & a porn/masturbation addiction

Quote:
Originally Posted by vacation92 View Post
Hi all!

Ever since I could remember I always considered a vocation to the priesthood. In fact, many in my family always said I would be a priest (as well as a couple priests and sisters). I go through phases of preferring the priesthood and married life. I want to start really discerning my call. The one problem is that I have had a pornography and masturbation addiction since the 7th grade and I am now a freshman in college. Honestly, I want to stop, but it is difficult. The most I could go without masturbating is a week it seems like. My body caves in. I feel like St. Paul,"I don't really understand myself, for I want to do what is right, but I don't do it. Instead, I do what I hate."

I am hoping to work within my next few years of college to kick the habit however, I want to do it now. I want to be rid of it as soon as possible.

Will this effect my chances of joining the priesthood? I want to stop so that I can fully and better discern my vocation.

God bless you all.
I suggest- avoid pornography. Try to reduce masterbation- the less you do it, the less you will want to do it. But, neither of these things prevent you from having a vocation to the priesthood.

I assume you try to live a life of celibacy- you are not having sex with a girlfriend or anything. So, dealing with sexual urges is always a challenge for a young man.

Jesus forgave sinners- we need to be able to forgive ourselves at times as well.
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  #38  
Old Feb 17, '12, 11:08 am
AndyF AndyF is offline
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Default Re: Discernment & a porn/masturbation addiction

Sever oneself from occasions of sin.
Substitute appropriate activity.
Socialize with positive people.
Keep busy.
last and the most important...

Say the Rosary every morning sincerely with no day skips. a life long devotion. Your resolve will be tested. Don't ever quit. Your cravings will subside, perhaps altogether, or perhaps with residual temptations that you are expected to handle.

Hang in there. It seems like you have the time to address this and determine results. If you don't have it under control by the time your about to enter, better to lay back some time until you've handled it.
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  #39  
Old Feb 21, '12, 3:49 pm
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iloveangels iloveangels is offline
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Default Re: Discernment & a porn/masturbation addiction

Quote:
Originally Posted by AndyF View Post
Sever oneself from occasions of sin.
Substitute appropriate activity.
Socialize with positive people.
Keep busy.
last and the most important...

Say the Rosary every morning sincerely with no day skips. a life long devotion. Your resolve will be tested. Don't ever quit. Your cravings will subside, perhaps altogether, or perhaps with residual temptations that you are expected to handle.

Hang in there. It seems like you have the time to address this and determine results. If you don't have it under control by the time your about to enter, better to lay back some time until you've handled it.
To the originator of this thread:

Correct. You can't go into the seminary in this condition. The Catholic people have had enough trouble over this sort of thing in its ministers. You are no exception; no one should go into the seminary this way. It's a sign that a) either you're not ready for a vocation that might be present, or b) it maybe be a sign that you don't have a vocation to the priesthood at all. If as time passes, you can't get the problem under control, then it's probably the latter, b.

PS: In your original post, there's a bunch of stuff about what other people expect you to do...he'd make a good priest and all that sort of thing. Forget all that. That's not what a vocation is composed of. Don't do it unless you are ready, have religious reasons of your own to do it, and can stand on your own two feet over it. We have seen many people enter the priesthood in the past whose vocations were questionable but they were pushed by the expectations of their relatives, and the whole thing ended in disaster. Understand?

Last edited by iloveangels; Feb 21, '12 at 4:03 pm.
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  #40  
Old Mar 9, '12, 5:30 pm
brokenplates1 brokenplates1 is offline
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Default Re: Discernment & a porn/masturbation addiction

I have been where you are. During confession, a priest told me that, at the FIRST INSTANT of an impure thought or temptation, and I mean THE FIRST INSTANT, say this quick, short prayer over and over and over again. It helps. Trust me.

"Oh God, I am being tempted to ____________. Please, send me the grace you gave me in my last (Communion/Confession) not to commit this sin and offend you."
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  #41  
Old Mar 9, '12, 5:35 pm
brokenplates1 brokenplates1 is offline
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Default Re: Discernment & a porn/masturbation addiction

Also, from a physical point of view, it is a psychological habit that affects the mind, soul and body is difficult to overcome.

Find a hobby that will improve yourself and will allow you to occupy your mind and time with. Read, exercise, volunteer, something, anything.

Combined with prayer and the sacraments, you WILL overcome this. But since it is a habit linked directly to pleasure, it will NOT be easy.
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