A question about MARRIAGE and the Church - Page 3

Debora123 · #31 Feb 23, '12, 7:07 pm

Quote:

Originally Posted by Phemie

The point is that she couldn't become a Catholic until the situation is resolved and if she is asking for baptism I don't think it's simply up to the pastor to approve them 'living as brother and sister'. Do I think there are priests who'd tell them to just keep on doing what they're doing? Of course, just as I know priests who won't tell a woman that getting an abortion is wrong. Does that mean they're correct? No.

Ok so basically she'd have to either break up her family or she can't be in communion with the Church.

ValPal · #32 Feb 23, '12, 7:11 pm

Quote:

Originally Posted by Debora123

Right, so basically she would have to come home to her "husband" who is not religious in the least bit and try to explain to him that they actually aren't married and that she's technically still married to her ex husband which is why they can no longer live as husband and wife, and must live as brother and sister.

Q: Who is saying they are not married?

A: The Church they don't belong to.

You're putting the cart before the horse.

ebonykawai · #33 Feb 23, '12, 7:13 pm

Quote:

Originally Posted by ValPal

Q: Who is saying they are not married?

A: The Church they don't belong to.

You're putting the cart before the horse.

Yeah, that's right, neither of them are Catholic, she just wants to be Catholic.

Why, LOL???

iloveangels · #34 Feb 23, '12, 7:14 pm

Was the first husband a Catholic? Was he baptized at all?

Mary Gail 36 · #35 Feb 23, '12, 7:16 pm

Quote:

Originally Posted by Debora123

Ok so basically she'd have to either break up her family or she can't be in communion with the Church.

Please read Catechism section I provided.

The woman in your scenario was married civally at 18 and divorced 3 years later, was Baptized Protestant, but did not practice her faith ever because it was not taught her.

1. The might get it annulled due to lack of maturity, or lack of proper understanding of what marriage was.

2. Does her church of origin recognize civil marriage? If they do not....maybe that could be a reason, she isn't validly married in the church she currently belongs to.

iloveangels · #36 Feb 23, '12, 7:16 pm

Quote:

Originally Posted by BOSS10L

Legitimate question - Would the church really be willing to turn away a person serious about converting through RICA solely based on something rash they'd done nearly three decades earlier?

I mean, even as an atheist, I'd like to think that if there was a God that he'd rather have someone in his flock that's made a mistake and repented rather than risk pushing them away forever over a technicality.

This is not just a technicality. And it's also not just about head counting.

Debora123 · #37 Feb 23, '12, 7:17 pm

Quote:

Originally Posted by ebonykawai

Yeah, that's right, neither of them are Catholic, she just wants to be Catholic.

Why, LOL???

I guess I wouldn't either if I was in her shoes and was being told that I couldn't be in communion with this Church unless I broke up my family. I guess I'd turn around and run the other way - "Never mind guys, I guess I'll just stick to agnosticism!"

iloveangels · #38 Feb 23, '12, 7:17 pm

Quote:

Originally Posted by Debora123

Ok. So it's a grey issue then.

And yes this is a hypothetical situation, though I'm sure it happens a lot.

Why do you care if it's only a hypothetical situation? What's the point for asking?

iloveangels · #39 Feb 23, '12, 7:19 pm

Quote:

Originally Posted by Debora123

Ok, I feel some people are missing the point.

This is a hypothetical situation in which the first marriage has not and cannot be either dissolved or annulled. I'm sure it's happened before. Let's get to the point, folks.

If the first marriage can't be annulled, she's still married to the first man. And she has a problem. She's sleeping with a man she's not married to.

She will probably be counseled to seek an annulment in order to be admitted to the Church. If she refuses, she will have a problem being admitted to the Church in the condition she is currently. She will have to change that situation because it's unreasonable to expect someone to maintain a state of grace in that situation.

Debora123 · #40 Feb 23, '12, 7:19 pm

Quote:

Originally Posted by iloveangels

Why do you care if it's only a hypothetical situation?

What do you mean?

Someone asked me if it was a hypothetical situation or if this was actually happening to someone I knew. I was just answering the question asked of me.

Debora123 · #41 Feb 23, '12, 7:20 pm

Quote:

Originally Posted by iloveangels

If the first marriage can't be annulled, she's still married to the first man. And she has a problem. She's sleeping with a man she's not married to.

Lol yes, I know. That was the point of my original post. I'm glad you got it.

ValPal · #42 Feb 23, '12, 7:22 pm

If I was faced with such a situation, I wouldn't convert because of the children. I believe that breaking up a family and harming children as a result is completely contrary to what God intends.

iloveangels · #43 Feb 23, '12, 7:22 pm

Quote:

Originally Posted by Debora123

What do you mean?

Someone asked me if it was a hypothetical situation or if this was actually happening to someone I knew. I was just answering the question asked of me.

OK. I took you at your word about it being a hypothetical situation. Got it?

NOW, why are you asking if it's only a hypothetical situation?? Who cares if this scenario is only a fairy tale?

Debora123 · #44 Feb 23, '12, 7:23 pm

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mary Gail 36

Please read Catechism section I provided.

The woman in your scenario was married civally at 18 and divorced 3 years later, was Baptized Protestant, but did not practice her faith ever because it was not taught her.

1. The might get it annulled due to lack of maturity, or lack of proper understanding of what marriage was.

2. Does her church of origin recognize civil marriage? If they do not....maybe that could be a reason, she isn't validly married in the church she currently belongs to.

Ok, but it didn't get annulled. Remember, this is a hypothetical situation.

The point is she is now "married" to another man whom she has 3 children with and an annulment was not granted to her. The first marriage was valid and cannot be annulled.

ebonykawai · #45 Feb 23, '12, 7:25 pm

Quote:

Originally Posted by iloveangels

Was the first husband a Catholic? Was he baptized at all?

I don't think any of the marriages were Catholic. Remember, this is a hypothetical scenerio.

Deb, I think that what would happen is that she couldn't be received by the Catholic church, since she is not a Catholic already and hasn't even been through RCIA yet. She wouldn't be able to make her first reconcilliation or first communion, because of her hypothetical marriage issue. Right? So I think it's more of an issue of her wanting to be a Catholic, but because of her marriage issue (if she absolutely in this pretend world would NOT be granted anything to let her marry freely in the Church), she would have to make a difficult choice.

So my question still is: with all of this mess, why does this poor girl still want to be Catholic?