Are any married women following the 'Fascinating Womanhood' guidelines? (by Helen Andelin)
I am a Catholic woman who has been married for nearly 4 months (to a protestant who was keen to convert prior to marriage). A week before I got married my parents in-law came to stay and my devoted and loving fiance turned into a disrespectful and pretty uninterested partner. There seemed to be a major problem with showing me love now that his parents (who live thousands of miles away) were present. - Particularly his mother got all his attention. I decided to progress with the wedding even though it was an immensely turbulent and upsetting week prior to the wedding, I thought it would blow over. His parents returned home (abroad) after the wedding and 4 very difficult months have prevailed. I don't know what has happened but I am not treated in the same way I was before marriage. Compliments are scarce, general courtesies dropped, no physical relations in terms of sexual or general affection. We have argued intensely about money as we have a shortage of it and I have felt my husband has been dishonest and reckless at times with the little we have.
Anyway, about a month ago I started reading 'Fascinating Womanhood' by Helen Andelin which offers old fashioned Christian advice on how to have a successful marriage. I really believe it is the answer. I have started implementing some changes in my behaviour over the last month, and things have certainly calmed down in terms of arguments. The basic idea is that a woman should focus on her feminine roles as wife (and mother) in a detached, pleasant and joyful manner, ignoring her husbands shortcomings and just accept and encourage anything positive that does come from him. There are some pretty dramatic testimonials about how marriages have been transformed in a short period of time. Bascially, your husband's behaviour will change when he sees his wife's behaviour change, but he will never change because she has tried to control or suggest he changes. Anyway, requires a lot of humility and patience to implement these new behaviours suggested in the book, but I am working on it.
Has anyone out there read the book and tried implementing the recommendations? It would be good to share tips and advice with someone in the same boat. (By the way the book is meant to work with any married couples, be they newly weds or married for 50 years etc).