Mass confusion

friendlymomma · #1 Mar 18, '12, 1:21 pm

Today I went to Mass for the 2nd time.
Mass is confusing. I cannot follow the missal. I had heard from other Protestant "converts" that this was an issue, and now I see what they mean! Everyone else seems to know what to do except me. To make things worse, my kids distract me throughout.

Why can't there be something like a bulletin that goes in order?
After this morning, I am very discouraged. It is hard enough for me to get up and get to Mass (We drive 30 minutes away, because my husband likes a particular Church). But even when I do make it, it seems kind of pointless.

I can't listen to the homily, I can't find the words on the paper to sing, I can't receive the Eucharist, and I don't understand why anything is done the way it is. Nothing is explained during the Mass. (I will be reading a book soon about Mass and I am sure that will help.)
I guess I am just venting, but if anyone has any insights or encouragement, I would really appreciate it!

paperwight66 · #2 Mar 18, '12, 1:37 pm

How is it you can't listen to the homily?

Splagchnizomai · #3 Mar 18, '12, 1:40 pm

I'm a convert, and I agree that it can be a bit confusing in the early stages.

Perhaps you could start by learning the Order of Mass. It's a lot, but there are two big parts: The Liturgy of the Word and The Liturgy of the Eucharist. I'll break these down very simply so that you can get your bearings the next time you go.

The Liturgy of the Word is when you hear all the Sunday Readings: Old Testament, Psalm, Epistle, and the Gospel -- and then the homily. It ends with the Creed (I believe) and the Prayers of the Faithful.

The Liturgy of the Eucharist is where we hear the Holy Holy Holy Lord God Of Hosts, pray the Our Father, and receive communion (Eucharist).

Try to find a couple of these things throughout Mass to get your bearings so that you'll have an idea of what's what.

I'd also recommend getting a missal from Magnificat or Word Among Us to take to Mass with you. These are monthly missals that have everything spelled out.

Hang in there! For me in the beginning, it was like being at a dance where everybody else knew the steps except me.

What book are you getting?

MarkThompson · #4 Mar 18, '12, 2:01 pm

Quote:

Originally Posted by friendlymomma

Today I went to Mass for the 2nd time.
Mass is confusing. I cannot follow the missal. I had heard from other Protestant "converts" that this was an issue, and now I see what they mean! Everyone else seems to know what to do except me. To make things worse, my kids distract me throughout.

Why can't there be something like a bulletin that goes in order?
After this morning, I am very discouraged. It is hard enough for me to get up and get to Mass (We drive 30 minutes away, because my husband likes a particular Church). But even when I do make it, it seems kind of pointless.

I can't listen to the homily, I can't find the words on the paper to sing, I can't receive the Eucharist, and I don't understand why anything is done the way it is. Nothing is explained during the Mass. (I will be reading a book soon about Mass and I am sure that will help.)
I guess I am just venting, but if anyone has any insights or encouragement, I would really appreciate it!

If it helps, the reason nothing it explained is because the explanations would get pretty old by maybe the thousandth time you heard them (about seventeen years, if you go to 60 Masses a year)! It does make the learning curve a bit steeper, but at least once you've gotten over the hump you don't have to be talked down to for the rest of your life.

I'm sure part of the difficulty is the variability in some of the elements of the Mass. In Lent, for instance, the Gloria is not sung, and a special acclamation before the Gospel replaces the typical Alleluia. Many churches do the Scrutinies for RCIA (a series of rites for initiating people who are becoming Catholic) during Masses on Lenten Sundays, which adds another layer of unpredictability, since you won't find those texts in a standard missal. Then, too, there is innate variability even in the standard texts of the Mass, since there are several options for the Eucharistic Prayer (the part of the Mass surrounding the consecration of the Eucharist and leading up to Communion), and the only way to know which one will be used would be to ask the priest beforehand (or to identify it quickly from the first sentence or two and hurry to the right page).

I would do three things if I were you: (1) look at the link Splagchnizomai gave you, (2) recognize that like driving a car or hitting a baseball it takes a bit of experience before it comes naturally, and (3) be willing to get your nose out of the book, listen, and let things take you by surprise as they come! In the same way that some people wish they could be seeing Star Wars or reading A Christmas Carol for the first time, rather than with such a practiced eye, I'm sure there are not a few Catholics who would envy you the discovery of the Mass. Just try to enter into the prayers as they come, speaking to God along with the priest and not focusing on his personality or on the people around you, and I think you might find it a very rewarding experience.

Corki · #5 Mar 18, '12, 2:38 pm

Two suggestions that might help.

1) watch a few televised Masses. There is Mass televised every day on EWTN and most metro areas have a Mass for shut-ins televised on Sundays on regular TV. This way you can become familiar with the main, repeated prayers and the general flow of Mass.

2) try reading the Scripture passages ahead of time. Most of the "flipping" in the missals is to get to the readings for the day which are on a three year cycle. If you read them ahead of time, you can just listen to them during Mass and skip that hunting around. There are many sources but a good one is the USCCB site.

http://www.usccb.org/bible/readings/031812.cfm

Welcome!

Edmundus1581 · #6 Mar 18, '12, 2:55 pm

I agree with your feelings.

I was raised as an Anglican and before every service each person was given the order of service as they entered the church. I recall Methodist churches doing a similar thing.

When I first attended a Catholic church the order of service was available in a booklet at the back of the church. This felt familiar to me so I just picked it up and used it, and so was able to adjust to the Catholic Mass quite quickly.

It was only after I had been received into the Church (a year later) and started going to other parishes that I discovered that my first experience (of having a booklet at the back of the Church) was exceptional, and that most Catholic churches don't do anything to make the Mass accessible to visitors and enquirers.

I have often thought that I was very fortunate to be given this introduction to the Church, and have wondered what I happens to other enquirers who visit a Catholic Mass out of curiosity and find themselves completely confused and unassisted.

I am on the liturgy committee of our parish, and one of the issues we are currently addressing is how to make the Mass accessible to visitors. When I raised this in the committee the leader mentioned that she is a convert too, and found this quite upsetting when she first visited a Catholic parish.

TheInquisitor · #7 Mar 18, '12, 2:56 pm

As a (hopeful) convert, I can agree that it is very confusing at first. Just keep going to Mass and it soon goes from a confusing mess into a wonderful dance

. After about 5 months for me, mass is actually pretty simple now. Keep up your determination! It get's easier!

Kathryn Ann · #8 Mar 18, '12, 3:07 pm

Welcome and greetings. Things will get better!
I see you are listed as Protestant....are you in RCIA or a new convert from being a protestant? Or simply attending with your Catholic husband and trying to feel at home?

I understand your feelings, and if you are not yet a Catholic, please try RCIA next year in the autumn, and in the meantime, there is a vast amount of information on the internet to help explain the beauty and the meaning of The Catholic Mass.

Does your spouse take time, beforehand, to explain things to you at all? I do hope you'll feel free to ask questions here, and please know that I think it is always very gracious when a spouse is willing to learn more about their partner's faith. There is deep mystery within the Mass, great beauty and at the center is Christ Himself, who loves you as a beloved child of God.
May your day be blessed and full of peace.

Kathryn Ann

odile53 · #9 Mar 18, '12, 3:14 pm

I understand your frustration, the Mass is complex, as well it should be, being the Holy Sacrifice that it is. Don't expect to get it down all at once.

You might want to approach it from a different tack: Just sit (stand or kneel, like everyone else is doing,) and get absorbed in it. In other words, don't try to follow along for a couple of months. It's like listening to a complex classical music piece, at first unfamiliar, but after a number of repetitions, you start to pick out the different themes and the underlying harmony.

After a couple of months or so of immersing yourself in the Mass (meaning focus, pay as close attention to what is going on at the altar and what is being said,) then pick up a book, or even ask someone at the parish office if you could borrow a missalette (they're the paperback missals that you've been desperately trying to leaf through,) and take it home and study it. The Ordinary of the Mass is the part that doesn't change from day to day. There are other sections, most notably the readings, the Gospel, the preface (which isn't at the start of Mass, making that little piece of information less confusing,) that do change from day to day. Flip through those sections. You'll notice, for example, that Sunday Masses occur in three annual cycles of readings, currently, we're in the second year, and the Gospel pretty much is taken from one of the Gospels of the New Testament, and the excerpts tend to follow in sequence.

friendlymomma · #10 Mar 18, '12, 3:34 pm

Quote:

Originally Posted by paperwight66

How is it you can't listen to the homily?

The kids were distracting me so much this time. Other times I will be able to listen. They are not always so difficult to deal with.

Deo Gratias42 · #11 Mar 18, '12, 3:36 pm

Quote:

Originally Posted by friendlymomma

Today I went to Mass for the 2nd time.
Mass is confusing. I cannot follow the missal. I had heard from other Protestant "converts" that this was an issue, and now I see what they mean! Everyone else seems to know what to do except me. To make things worse, my kids distract me throughout.

Why can't there be something like a bulletin that goes in order?
After this morning, I am very discouraged. It is hard enough for me to get up and get to Mass (We drive 30 minutes away, because my husband likes a particular Church). But even when I do make it, it seems kind of pointless.

I can't listen to the homily, I can't find the words on the paper to sing, I can't receive the Eucharist, and I don't understand why anything is done the way it is. Nothing is explained during the Mass. (I will be reading a book soon about Mass and I am sure that will help.)
I guess I am just venting, but if anyone has any insights or encouragement, I would really appreciate it!

My best advice to you is to put the Missal down and listen and observe for now. Contrary to popular belief, you're not required to say all the responses, sing all the songs, etc. etc. You will pick it up a lot easier and quicker if you just watch and listen. You'll pick up the shorter responses that are repetitive the quickest, and it won't be long until you know all of them and can mindless recite them like everyone else (though, now that they have the corrected translation, it's still new for some people as well. I only know a few responses, and those I have to translate in my head from Latin). I'm assuming you're attending Mass in English, so you should at least know what the priest is saying without having to have the Missal with both languages side by side. When I first started attending the EF Mass, I didn't even bother with the Missal. Sure, I didn't know everything the priest was saying (or not saying audibly), but I got the feel for the Mass down first. (The EF Mass is even more confusing because the choir and priest aren't always at the same part of the Mass.) The only hymns I sing are the ones I know without the hymnal.

What is it about the Mass you need explained? I'm willing to bet a lot of the people attending don't actually know why anything is done. I'm a cradle Catholic, and it wasn't until last year in Lent when my FSSP priest was explaining the Sacrifice of the Mass and the Paschal supper that finally everything clicked for me.

It's unrealistic to expect to know everything right away. When in doubt about what to do, just do what everyone else does (unless it involves hand holding, raising arm into the air, or doing the Orams position like the priest is during the Our Father, and during the sign of peace (the part where you shake hands with people and say "peace be with you") turn it into social time. Don't do any of those.). I still can only recite the Apostle's Creed if I'm in a group of people.

Godith · #12 Mar 18, '12, 3:41 pm

It is pretty tough to work out what's going on, I agree. I've been to Mass a couple of times with my friend who is Catholic. She helped me with some of it, and gave me a book of the Order of Mass, so I could follow the service. I still got a bit lost in the middle, though.

I'd really recommend 'The How To Book of the Mass'. I bought it after the last time I went to Mass. It's very helpful, because it steps you through each part of the service, and tells you what's happening and why. You will need a missal to go with it, because it doesn't have the actual words of the Mass in it, but otherwise it's very easy to read. It has the nihil obstat as well, so you are getting authentic Catholic teaching. Best of all, it's written with the aim of helping people to worship, so there are lots of suggestions on how to engage with God during Mass.

It is hard not to be allowed to receive the Eucharist, and I do find myself wishing I could meet with Jesus in that way. We non-Catholics can do everything else though, and worshiping God is never pointless. He honours you for your efforts in worship, even if you don't feel you particularly experienced His presence. I've been blessed when I've been to Mass, because I have felt God's presence there, but I wouldn't necessarily expect that every time, just as I don't experience that every time in my home church.

**ProVobis** · #13 Mar 18, '12, 3:44 pm

My advice is to attend a daily Mass or two (in addition) where they're not as many people and the sermon is shorter. I've often found concentration to be a lot easier, you can see more, and you can absorb more in this type of environment. But that's me.

Deo Gratias42 · #14 Mar 18, '12, 5:58 pm

Btw: you might not be able to recieve communion, but you can make a spiritual communion while everyone else is receiving. Just google "spiritual communion."