Getting over an old boyfriend - how?

[angela1207]

Does anyone have any advice on how to get over an old boyfriend? My friends and family have tired of listening to me cry about it. I am trying to do what I have read: Keep busy, stay positive, keep active, get plenty of sleep, keep eating, keep going out with friends and family (but don't wear them down)... etc.

I met "Dan" (not his real name) 4 years ago through online dating. We dated for a few months then he dropped me. I kept in touch occasionally and he always responded, but didn't want to go out again. I started praying, even fasting, for Dan to come back because I liked him so much. I did everything I could, then gave up.

It seemed as though my prayer was answered when Dan came back into my life 2 years later after. We dated about 6 months, then again he dropped me. That was a year and a half ago. I know I need to move on, but I'm not doing it very well. We have kept corresponding (him returning my text and emails most of the time, but not always) for the last year and half. However, about a month ago, he met a new woman. He told me to quit bothering him.

I guess my problem is that I believed God answered my prayer when Dan came back. This was months after I gave up, having assumed God said "no." Now Dan is gone again, and I am confused. I think in my heart I believe Dan and I belong together because God appeared to answer my prayer....but did He answer it??? Or did he take away the grace that He gave to me???
I feel like I'm in a time crunch to get married soon (I'm over 30) and have always wanted kids. I'm scared it isn't happening, despite my nonstop prayers. I'm confused. And most of all, I am anxious and restless. I want to fix the situation and seem unable to do so. I am open to marrying someone else. I would also take Dan back again.

If anyone has it in their heart to pray for my intention of finding a spouse, please do with my thanksgiving. May God bless you abundantly. Please let me know if I can also pray for you and your needs too!

Love,
Angie

PS. I also want to mention that I did pray for the intercession of St. Raphael, patron saint for those seeking a spouse. Last year, right after our break up, he appeared to bring Dan back to me, but due to various circumstances (I can email with more details) it didn't happen.

[Valentine Angel]

Dear Angie,

I'm sorry you're hurting so bad. From what you've written, you need to cut Dan loose. If he loved you, he would be doing everything he could to be in your life and wouldn't want you free and single. He would claim you. His love for you would automatically be a part of him, so you would already be his family and his sanctuary, and would have already asked you to marry him, because anything else would be unthinkable! Obviously, he doesn't feel the same way about you as how you feel about him. Well YOU DESERVE SOMEONE WHO ACTUALLY LOVES YOU!!! My advice is to forget Dan, it's not gonna happen or it already would have. Also, meeting someone on the internet is not the best way to meet people. You're young, there are so many things you can do to meet guys. I only go out with men whom my friends or family know, or someone I've known on my own for a long time. While you're praying you need to aknowledge that it's over, and that you're gonna live life and ask Jesus to heal you. And remember, Jesus loved you enough to die for your sins and be your Savior. He made you his Sister, God's own daughter. You're not a Disney Princess, but a Heavenly Princess!!!

You need to find a real man, a Catholic man, who loves Jesus and the Church and his neighbor! Is there an area in the Church you feel called to? Soup kitchens,working/playing with kids, serving the poor, pro-life? Get involved and forget about yourself and serve those people with a huge smile! If you do, it's possible you will meet like-minded young men.

Since you love to pray, spend extra time before Jesus in the Blessed Sacrament telling Him how much you love Him and to create a heart in you the way He wishes it to be. When He heals you, and you're feeling good being on your own, and going on the occasional date, you can do something recommended to me. This is a true story . I knew a very holy lady, and she had been married to her husband for over 50 years. Well, when she was a young lady, she was frustrated that she never met any decent young men. She had heard that if you pray a novena with St. Jude with the intention of finding your spouse, the prayer would be answered. So she did, and on the 9th day, there was a handsome young man praying in the church, too. When they'd finished praying, they started a conversation and she found out, he'd been praying a St. Jude novena for the same intention! He asked her out, and, the rest is history...

So, don't give up on anything, especially not yourself. You are beautiful and you want someone who appreciates your beauty inside and out!

I hope this is helpful. I'll be praying for you. Please write me anytime you want.

Have a Happy and Holy Easter,

Valentine Angel

PS My kitty Leonardo purrs Hi!