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Old Aug 16, '09, 8:48 pm
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sparkielee sparkielee is offline
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Question What is my purpose?

I'm a 50-year-old single woman who thought she was called to be a Sister, but I think some "emotional problems" I've had since I was a kid kept me out of the convent. I never got "cured" of them-even with therapy and becoming more mature as I grew older.

I was engaged once, but feel like the call is more to a life of celibacy. The idea of living in community and devoting my life to prayer and service to the Lord and others still appeals to me, The priests who says the Mass that I've been frequenting lately says that it seems that from what I've told him that my calling is to the single state. I have been asked by one of the men in our congregation to pray for him and his wife.

Despite the problems I've been having in holding a job-which include being tired all the time, too much stress, being so disorganized that I feel that I always need time off to go home and clean my room, and some trouble either doing or learning the job quickly enough or doing a good enough job-I feel as if I'm needed to do something.

I was given some assistance by a fellow cat lover in getting a volunteer job at an animal shelter doing something I love to do (for pleasure) and that's petting cats. I sometimes volunteer at the Catholic Worker. It seems as though every week I don't make it to either job for some reason-too tired, my room looks like a trash can, or something else comes up.

I also have a variety of talents, such as artistic, singing, or writing that I'm not using a whole lot of. I can use prayers for my health and that I gain the self-discipline and energy needed to get up long enough to make some progress in my room as well as time to pray, volunteer, and use my talents.

I still think I need to know how to live my life as a single Christian. I'm thinking of praying the Little Office and the Rosary daily as well as attending Mass more frequently.

I've also looked on the Internet at "lay" communities such as the secular Franciscans.

I meant this post as one about discerning my vocation, but I've been sharing with you some problems that get in the way.

Another member of this site writes letters to prisoners and asked me to write to them-which I said yes to. A friend of mine who wants to be a writer is encouraging me to write and send her the first chapter of a novel I've been thinking of writing (I trust her enough to let her see it before it's published.) I have a book checked out of the library on writing a thriller and plan on ordering my own copy from Amazon.
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Old Dec 19, '09, 3:53 pm
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Lori8585 Lori8585 is offline
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Red face Re: What is my purpose?

You sound just like me. I am 40 years old and disabled due to major depression w/ psychotic features and severe anxiety. I have been disabled since 2003 and they still don't have my meds right. I am trying to be patient. But I can't do much of anything due to the depression and anxiety (the pyschotic features are under control). I cannot take very good care of myself. I live alone with my cat. I have been so inactive due to the depression and anxiety that now it is also physically difficult for me to do things as well as mentally difficult. I want to go to church so bad. I need to go to confession too first. I haven't been to church in at least 2 years. I feel guilty because I feel like there were some days that maybe I could have went. I watch EWTN alot, but most of the time I can't have the sound on. But it helps just having the station on all the time. And sometimes I can have the sound on. I have alot of Catholic books, but I have difficulty concentrating on them. I want to go to church, say the rosary, do the divine office, volunteer at church, but I can't right now. It is frustrating. I have a new doctor who seems to be willing to try new medications and we are on our way to finding the right ones. So hopefully in a few months I will be able to do more. I feel for you. I too want to be a nun, but I think I am too mentally unstable and will have to be single. I think that we should just be patient and do what we can right now and hopefully that will lead to being able to do more in the future. And pray to God for help every day. That is important - to pray to God. He will help. He has helped me by giving me a new doctor. I'm sorry I can't be of more help to you in discerning your vocation. I am in the same boat as you. I think maybe we need to be patient.
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Old Apr 12, '12, 7:48 am
Woolybabe Woolybabe is offline
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Default Re: What is my purpose?

I also suffer with mental health problems as well as physical problems and sometimes feel that I don't have a purpose. When I feel like that I put the news on, then I do the most powerful thing anyone can do. I pray for the people who have been on the news. I also pray for people I know. If I was well and fit I would not have so much time to pray. I also read a lot. One book I have read is by Joni Eareckson Tada. She broke her neck and felt she didn't have a purpose, then she found her purpose. I recommend you read her first book Joni. It really shows that we all have a purpose. I hope this helps. I will say a prayer for you and pray that God leads you to His purpose.
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