is it a sin?

[twoangels]

Originally Posted by Peaceforhonks

Hi. i'm a 16 year old teenage girl and i'm pretty shy to ask you this but it keeps on bugging me. I know watching porn videos is a sin but i dont know if masturbation is a sin too or is it only a sexual desire? can someone please explain it to me, i wanted to stop it but i still keep on doing it

Objectively speaking, masturbation is a grave sin. By masturbation, we mean the direct stimulation of your organs for the sake of indulging in sexual pleasure. (I say this because my Dad told me that masturbation as pretending to have sex while you were along. I was only told that sex involved penetration. I had great difficulty understanding how using tampons and what not were not sinful.)

The Church teaches that the pursuit of sexual pleasure isolated from its unitive and procreative purposes is morally disordered. Masturbation also takes sexuality out of the marital relationship. So ultimately speaking, its important to understand that the purpose of your sexuality involves a procreative purpose. God gave us marriage to enable us to deliberately commit to someone prior to giving ourselves to them sexually and the unitive function of sex helps the overall unity of the marriage.

I would say there is an aspect of self discovery that helps one to sexually develop and mature sexually, like a child crawling before walking. It would seem that many people begin this before they reach the age of reason, in which case even if such behavior at that age is still objectively immoral, such children are not sinning. I also think newly married couples need to be given some learning curve to allow themselves room to simply follow nature and discovery. I obsessed about this when I first got married and it was one of the contributing factors that caused problems. Either way, its important to recognize that there is a difference between discovery and development and lusting after sexual pleasure.

The Church also understands that masturbation can become so habitual that people do not fully willfully engage in it and thus are not fully culpable of it.

Either way, no matter how embarrassing it is, it is important to bring this up in the confessional because it is a grave offense and thus potentially a mortal sin. If it makes you comfortable, stay behind the screen. There is no reason to get detailed about it. If you have a good confessor, he may ask you some questions to help determine your culpability and if you go to him regularly he may be better able to spiritually direct you.

Moreover, it is good to go to confession regularly and to not reserve the confessional for mortal sins. Venial sins built up habits that lead to mortal sins. It is better to keep venial sins at bay through regular confession. Regular confession will also get you over some of the anxieties about going to confession, making it easier to go when you do have a mortal sin to confess. Regular confession also helps you to see your spiritual progress. You may see longer time spans between how long you've gone without committing certain sins. Go to confession for the spiritual healing and the grace.

[Joseph6279]

The Church considers masturbation a sin of grave matter. For a sin to be mortal, three things need to be present:

1) a sin that is of grave matter
2) the sin is done with "full knowledge"
This basically means the person knows that the sinful action is very wrong (based on your asking whether or not it is even a sin, shows that you have not fulfilled this second requirement)

3) the sin is done with "full consent."
This means that the person freely engaged their freewill when committing the act. This deals with questions like: Did the person have sufficient time time reflect beforehand on what they did? Were they under some outside pressure to commit the act? Were their mental faculties somehow compromised by great stress, sleepiness, mental or emotional disorders, addiction, etc.

Masturbation is a very tough habit for people in general to break, but it can be! Go to confession as soon as you reasonably can whenever you fall (confession is required since it is a sin of grave matter. You'll actually need to go to confession before receiving Communion if you fall in this area. don't worry. Priests have to deal with helping people with this sin quite a bit) Pray daily for the grace to stop. Get rid of any activities that lead to sins of impurity, like pornography, (either visual or written) or just trashy literature. Develop a relationship with the Blessed Mother and go to her whenever you feel tempted. And, in general, try to develop your relationship with God through prayer, the sacraments, being around people who inspire your faith, and reading good spiritual books/websites.

You are in my prayers!

[Pfaffenhoffen]

Peaceforhonks, tell you my opinion. It has been given to masturbation too much attention in the Catholic Church and that attention should be forwarded to charity, solidarity, love of the neighbor, almony to the poor...

[itullian]

yes, just relax. just don't be obsessed by it. that's all.

i'm cool.

[Trebor135]

Originally Posted by Pfaffenhoffen

Peaceforhonks, tell you my opinion. It has been given to masturbation too much attention in the Catholic Church and that attention should be forwarded to charity, solidarity, love of the neighbor, almony to the poor...

If certain actions pose grave danger to the souls of millions, all those strong in their faith should never hesitate to speak out against those things.

[Pfaffenhoffen]

Originally Posted by Trebor135

If certain actions pose grave danger to the souls of millions, all those strong in their faith should never hesitate to speak out against those things.

There are millions of people and millions of actions.
First ´Things first.
Once a doctor in Law asked Jesus what was the greatest commandment.
Jesus said the Shemah: (שְׁמַע יִשְׂרָאֵל‎; "Hear, [O] Israel"), The Lord God is YOur Lord, You will love with your Heart, with all your Soul, with all your being.

And Jesus added: "Love your neigbor as yourself".

In the end of life, Jesus said: "I give you a NEW commandment: love each other as I loved You".

Let's not run away from sins. There is a better way.

Let's run towards God and love our neighbor as Jesus taught us.

[JRKH]

Originally Posted by Pfaffenhoffen

There are millions of people and millions of actions.
First ´Things first.
Once a doctor in Law asked Jesus what was the greatest commandment.
Jesus said the Shemah: (שְׁמַע יִשְׂרָאֵל‎; "Hear, [O] Israel"), The Lord God is YOur Lord, You will love with your Heart, with all your Soul, with all your being.

And Jesus added: "Love your neigbor as yourself".

In the end of life, Jesus said: "I give you a NEW commandment: love each other as I loved You".

Let's not run away from sins. There is a better way.

Let's run towards God and love our neighbor as Jesus taught us.

Amen Amen Amen....

[Trebor135]

Originally Posted by Pfaffenhoffen

There are millions of people and millions of actions.
First ´Things first.
Once a doctor in Law asked Jesus what was the greatest commandment.
Jesus said the Shemah: (שְׁמַע יִשְׂרָאֵל‎; "Hear, [O] Israel"), The Lord God is YOur Lord, You will love with your Heart, with all your Soul, with all your being.

And Jesus added: "Love your neigbor as yourself".

In the end of life, Jesus said: "I give you a NEW commandment: love each other as I loved You".

Let's not run away from sins. There is a better way.

Let's run towards God and love our neighbor as Jesus taught us.

No disagreement there.

Remember, Jesus told us in Matthew chapter five:

[27] "You have heard that it was said, `You shall not commit adultery.'
[28] But I say to you that every one who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.
[29] If your right eye causes you to sin, pluck it out and throw it away; it is better that you lose one of your members than that your whole body be thrown into hell.
[30] And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away; it is better that you lose one of your members than that your whole body go into hell."

[Pfaffenhoffen]

Originally Posted by Trebor135

No disagreement there.

Remember, Jesus told us in Matthew chapter five:

[27] "You have heard that it was said, `You shall not commit adultery.'
[28] But I say to you that every one who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.
[29] If your right eye causes you to sin, pluck it out and throw it away; it is better that you lose one of your members than that your whole body be thrown into hell.
[30] And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away; it is better that you lose one of your members than that your whole body go into hell."

No disagreement on what you said.
But when asked, Jesus said that the First Commandment was ... bla bla bla...
Now, let us progress in the discussion:
Are we giving emphasis to the First? Are we putting the first as first and the 10th as 10th? The Foruns here show that the First commandment is more debated than the 10th?

[Joseph6279]

If something is a sin it is contrary to the two greatest commandments to love God, and love neighbor. It is a nice thing to say "don't run away from sin, but run to God" but the two are two sides to the same coin: if you run to God, you will run away from sin/if you are running away from sin, then you are running to God.

To overcome sin I would say one needs to have focus on Him (prayer, sacraments, holy reading etc.), but one also needs to root out the various things that are obstacles in one's relationship with him.

[JRKH]

Originally Posted by Joseph6279

If something is a sin it is contrary to the two greatest commandments to love God, and love neighbor. It is a nice thing to say "don't run away from sin, but run to God" but the two are two sides to the same coin: if you run to God, you will run away from sin/if you are running away from sin, then you are running to God.

(Bolding Mine)

Joseph,
In reference to the bolded section...This may be true in some cases but not necessarily in all. Much depends on one's understanding of "sin".
The most commonly used Greek term that is generally translated as "Sin" is:
Hamartano
To be without a share in; to miss the mark; to err, be mistaken; to miss or wander from the path of uprightness and honor; to do or go wrong; to wander from the law of God, violate God's law, sin.

Likewise in Hebrew the term translated as "sin" is
Chata'
to sin, miss, miss the way, go wrong, incur guilt, forfeit, purify from uncleanness

The thing to note in these is the idea of being "mistaken", to "miss the way", to "err"....Not necessarily to "run away from" doing wrong...
The Atheist can easily claim to "run away from sin" because he does not kill or steal or covet or whatever....and treats others with respect and even love.
However - his "running away from sin" does not equate to running "toward God". Hence they are not necessarily two sides of the same coin. One can "run from sin" and also "run from God"....
Of course one could say that running from God is, in itself sin, which is a whole other rabbit trail that we could run down......

[/quote]To overcome sin I would say one needs to have focus on Him (prayer, sacraments, holy reading etc.), but one also needs to root out the various things that are obstacles in one's relationship with him.[/quote]
Totally agree with this.
Proper focus on God (who is Love) is the greatest defense against sin -error - large or small.

Peace
James

[TheRealJuliane]

Watching porn will stick in your head for the rest of your life. Stop doing it NOW. Stop putting sexual acts in front of your eyes and you will have less desire to touch your private parts and give yourself orgasms. Save that for your future husband. Yes, it is sin and you know it is sin. You are supposed to experience that sort of pleasure with your husband, not all by yourself. Get the porn out of your life, get some self-control, get away from whatever gives you the desire to masturbate. Stop now while you can still change things!

[Trebor135]

Originally Posted by Pfaffenhoffen

No disagreement on what you said.

But when asked, Jesus said that the First Commandment was ... bla bla bla...

Indeed.

Now, let us progress in the discussion:
Are we giving emphasis to the First? Are we putting the first as first and the 10th as 10th? The Foruns here show that the First commandment is more debated than the 10th?

Actually, in my experience, I have found that God's love is overemphasized while his justice is underemphasized. We must always seek to find a balance between the two sides of the coin. God is merciful and forgiving, but toward the sincere and repentant. He is, however, punitive and wrathful against the prideful and stubborn. May he preserve and protect us all.

Both Joseph and James have written good posts.

[itullian]

Mathew chapter5, 28 says

"he who looks at a woman with lust has committed adultery with her IN HIS HEART."

NOT has committed adultery. its a prelude and not nearly as bad as actually committing the act.

[Trebor135]

Originally Posted by itullian

Mathew chapter5, 28 says

"he who looks at a woman with lust has committed adultery with her IN HIS HEART."

NOT has committed adultery. its a prelude and not nearly as bad as actually committing the act.

But Jesus was making a parallel between the Old Testament Mosaic law and the New Testament law of love: the latter raises the former to a higher level. "You shall not commit adultery" is just as worthy of assent and implementation as "[You shall not look] at a woman lustfully".