Catholic Fiance and RCIA

Big Chris · #1 Apr 30, '12, 8:31 am

While I understand that only the RCIA director of my local parish can accurately answer this question, I thought I would propose the same question here in order to see what others - especially those directly involved with RCIA - have to say.

My fiance was baptized as a Catholic but never confirmed. I've gotten a series of answers as to why she was never confirmed. She states that the kids were mean to her in CCD because, being a leukemia survivor, she was smaller and her hair had grown back strangely. In talks with her mother, though, she states that she pulled her out of CCD because she always wanted religion to be something freely chosen. Whatever the reason, she remains unconfirmed.

Even now, she dreads the thought of going through the process for confirmation. Her experiences from CCD have left a lasting negative impression on her. Also, she doesn't understand religious or spiritual thought very well as it tends to be highly abstract and she doesn't do well with abstract concepts. She's not really concerned with theology, ecclesiology, the Bible, the Catechism or any of that, and she's expressed to me that confirmation classes might be a waste on her since she wouldn't understand what is being said. Since I am quite the opposite and tend to endlessly ponder matters of religion or spirituality, I have to explain things in a very down-to-earth manner that she can understand. Even then, she sort of gets lost. She is, however, an extremely good-hearted person who loves people - and so, she really understands the heart of the Gospel more than me and my intellectual wanderings. She also indefatigably believes in God. There have been times when I have questioned God, and she's told me, "You have to believe in God. It's absurd not to." She is my Little Flower.

She wants to be confirmed, though, so that we can enjoy a fully Catholic wedding and marriage. So, I am wondering how long would it take for her to be confirmed? I have seen instances where lifelong Catholics were confirmed within a matter of weeks. Would her case be similar?

SuscipeMeDomine · #2 Apr 30, '12, 8:47 am

You would really have to talk with the adult confirmation/RCIA folks in your parish.

Ideally parishes or dioceses have a separate program for adult confirmation. Lifelong Catholics don't belong in RCIA. But due to lack of resources, some parishes use RCIA as a sort of catch-all. You won't know until you talk with your particular parish.

One of the big differences your fiancee will see with adult faith formation is that the teenagers and their attitudes are gone. People are there because they want to be. These are people who have figured out that their faith is vitally important to them. The support and encouragement I see among both RCIA and adult confirmation folks is wonderful.

Corki · #3 Apr 30, '12, 9:56 am

One big factor will be if she is missing more Sacraments than just Confirmation. If she was Catechized through First Confession and First Communion, she may have a shorter or different process available than if she was just Baptized.

While Baptized Catholics often go the same classs sequence as RCIA participants, it's not really RCIA. You should probably direct your questions to the pastor or the Director of Religious Education rather than the RCIA director.

TheRealJuliane · #4 Apr 30, '12, 10:17 am

Quote:

Originally Posted by Big Chris

While I understand that only the RCIA director of my local parish can accurately answer this question, I thought I would propose the same question here in order to see what others - especially those directly involved with RCIA - have to say.

My fiance was baptized as a Catholic but never confirmed. I've gotten a series of answers as to why she was never confirmed. She states that the kids were mean to her in CCD because, being a leukemia survivor, she was smaller and her hair had grown back strangely. In talks with her mother, though, she states that she pulled her out of CCD because she always wanted religion to be something freely chosen. Whatever the reason, she remains unconfirmed.

Even now, she dreads the thought of going through the process for confirmation. Her experiences from CCD have left a lasting negative impression on her. Also, she doesn't understand religious or spiritual thought very well as it tends to be highly abstract and she doesn't do well with abstract concepts. She's not really concerned with theology, ecclesiology, the Bible, the Catechism or any of that, and she's expressed to me that confirmation classes might be a waste on her since she wouldn't understand what is being said. Since I am quite the opposite and tend to endlessly ponder matters of religion or spirituality, I have to explain things in a very down-to-earth manner that she can understand. Even then, she sort of gets lost. She is, however, an extremely good-hearted person who loves people - and so, she really understands the heart of the Gospel more than me and my intellectual wanderings. She also indefatigably believes in God. There have been times when I have questioned God, and she's told me, "You have to believe in God. It's absurd not to." She is my Little Flower.

She wants to be confirmed, though, so that we can enjoy a fully Catholic wedding and marriage. So, I am wondering how long would it take for her to be confirmed? I have seen instances where lifelong Catholics were confirmed within a matter of weeks. Would her case be similar?

I think my confirmation class was about 6 sessions. I *think.* It was 13 years ago now, I had to be confirmed before my husband and I could marry in the Church. None of it was high-level teaching. But talk to your priest ASAP and explain the whole thing.

**1ke** · #5 Apr 30, '12, 3:57 pm

I suggest talking to the priest preparing you for marriage, not the RCIA director.

CalCatholic · #6 Apr 30, '12, 8:16 pm

As stated earlier, if she was baptized Catholic but never received her first communion, the normal process would be RCIA, and the length of the RCIA program would vary according to each parish. If she has been baptized Catholic and has received her first communion, then she should be placed in an adult confirmation class and in our area they last about 3 months.

medaroge · #7 Apr 30, '12, 9:21 pm

In our parish everyone went through the same 10 month program regardless of baptism/confirmation/etc. I think this varies so much, you will need to get a definite answer from your parish. The priest, RCIA director or office manager could give you more direction.