Bad Anxiety
Hey guys! Peace and blessings. well, I was away from the church for a good year or so. I'm 20 years old, Roman Catholic. Just recently I came back to the church, went to confession on Divine Mercy Sunday, and I feel much better to be back. I did a lot of wrongful things while I was away from the church. Slept with different girls, got drunk, smoked weed. I just recently broke up with my girlfriend who is a baptized Catholic, but wants nothing to do with the church. She thinks premarital sex is okay. Now that I'm back to the church, I don't want to do that anymore, so we broke up. I feel much better now. Now I guess I posted here so I can receive some comfort. I have really bad anxiety, ever since I smoked this herbal incense stuff. It was a really bad experience and I don't even really like talking about it. I believe I had a panic attack, I thought I was having a heart attack. I thought I died and went to hell, and honestly, it still haunts me, the idea that I may be in hell, but I know I shouldn't think that way because I am doubting God's love for me and not trusting him. I always say Jesus I trust in you. Is it sinful to think this way? I really hate this feeling and want to see a doctor soon and possibly a therapist, because this really bothers me, just to feel this way, like I'm in hell or purgatory. Its like my own personal hell. Its gotten much better though, since I came back to the church, I think its what helped me come back. I kind of want it to go away now, its not a good feeling. It just really scares me sometimes that I might be dead and suffering in hell. But I've told myself several times I'm not, because I have God now, and I feel joy, and I go to the Eucharist and I'll be at the tabernacle, which is Heaven on Earth. So I know I can't be, but it just really bothers. I wish I can just have sincerity that I'm not. I know I must sound pretty crazy at this point. but I've read up on anxiety, and it basically feels like impending doom or constant worrying, etc. etc. Just really pray for me and I would like to see some advice from you all. Thank you and God bless.
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