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  #1  
Old May 1, '12, 2:53 pm
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JD27076 JD27076 is offline
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Default My sister is taking contraception. What should I do?

My sister is not a Catholic, shes not really religious at all.

I told her its a mortal sin to take contraception. But she seemed not to care. Shes married and has 1 infant child, girl.

What should I do that isn't intrusive, but something that I just don't linger back and just don't say anything.

She says she doesn't want another baby, I said, then just don't have sex....Now I am not Married, nor at the age to get married, so I am not sure what is going on with feelings or the urge to have sexual intercourse.

I'm not sure what to do or say. Can you help?

Thanks
-Justin.
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  #2  
Old May 1, '12, 4:13 pm
marty1818 marty1818 is offline
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Default Re: My sister is taking contraception. What should I do?

Well you told her it was sinful so there is not much else you can do except pray for her.
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  #3  
Old May 1, '12, 4:30 pm
stephe1987 stephe1987 is offline
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Default Re: My sister is taking contraception. What should I do?

I think it's very sad how many Catholics today are poorly-educated with regards to their faith. Look at the high percentage of Catholic women on ABC, how many are not eligible to receive communion! I think most people either don't know about NFP or falsely believe it's the same as the rhythm method (which obviously doesn't work).

Since she is acting stubborn, you can see that her heart and mind are closed to truth. She is going to do whatever she wants, ignoring the will of God. The only thing anyone can do at this point is pray for her. Pray that God softens her heart and opens her mind to truth.
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  #4  
Old May 1, '12, 4:44 pm
Rence Rence is offline
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Default Re: My sister is taking contraception. What should I do?

But Stephe, her sister isn't Catholic...so telling her that the Catholic Church forbids it is probably not going to get through to her.

Justin, why don't you help her by researching the pros and cons of using artificial birth control versus NFP?

Women who use hormone therapy increase their risk of blood clot and stroke. It also raises the chances of getting some forms of cancer. NFP takes a lot of discipline and there is a learning curve, but it's healthier and also alerts women to changes that they would otherwise not notice.
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  #5  
Old May 1, '12, 5:00 pm
George Stegmeir George Stegmeir is offline
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Default Re: My sister is taking contraception. What should I do?

Quote:
Originally Posted by JD27076 View Post
My sister is not a Catholic, shes not really religious at all.

I told her its a mortal sin to take contraception. But she seemed not to care. Shes married and has 1 infant child, girl.

What should I do that isn't intrusive, but something that I just don't linger back and just don't say anything.

She says she doesn't want another baby, I said, then just don't have sex....Now I am not Married, nor at the age to get married, so I am not sure what is going on with feelings or the urge to have sexual intercourse.

I'm not sure what to do or say. Can you help?

Thanks
-Justin.
Have you ever heard the saying that you can be right but also be wrong at the same time? She may be your sister, but all things considered, her sexual behavior is none of your business! If you value your relationship with her, and for that matter, the rest of your family, let the subject drop. By pursueing the matter all you are going to do is promulgate hate and discontent within your family- which is a sin unto itself !
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  #6  
Old May 1, '12, 5:05 pm
Mystic Banana Mystic Banana is offline
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Smile Re: My sister is taking contraception. What should I do?

Sounds like, soul saving wise, she'd have more fundamental issues than contraception - non-religious are often more accurately anti-religious, so I think you'd have to sort out the fundamentals first before going for the specific and applied - and good luck with that! It's a rather steep uphill struggle, I personally find...

And in the end, you may end up looking for some rare opportunity to enlighten. Determination isn't always enough - in fact, if your sister is antireligious, it can fit certain beliefs inherent in popular anti-religious ideologies, so could eventually work against your efforts..... it's also worth realising that, as the older sister, your sibling may well assume she knows more than you, by age at least, and, according to various popular ideologies, by sexual intercourse, which represent it is a potent source for maturity, regardless of circumstance
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  #7  
Old May 1, '12, 5:08 pm
Cbus Cbus is offline
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Default Re: My sister is taking contraception. What should I do?

I think that we get too caught up in what people are doing. The fact is ABC is the least thing to be concerned about with regards to someone who does not accept Christ. We get into this line of thinking that if someone just stops "sinning" they will be saved. If they don't accept Christ, any change in behavior is for naught. First, lead her to Christ and then let her work out her behavior between God and herself.
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  #8  
Old May 1, '12, 10:22 pm
Bezant Bezant is offline
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Default Re: My sister is taking contraception. What should I do?

Quote:
Originally Posted by George Stegmeir View Post
Have you ever heard the saying that you can be right but also be wrong at the same time? She may be your sister, but all things considered, her sexual behavior is none of your business! If you value your relationship with her, and for that matter, the rest of your family, let the subject drop. By pursueing the matter all you are going to do is promulgate hate and discontent within your family- which is a sin unto itself !
Agreed.
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  #9  
Old May 2, '12, 2:19 am
AHapka AHapka is offline
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Default Re: My sister is taking contraception. What should I do?

Quote:
Originally Posted by George Stegmeir View Post
Have you ever heard the saying that you can be right but also be wrong at the same time? She may be your sister, but all things considered, her sexual behavior is none of your business! If you value your relationship with her, and for that matter, the rest of your family, let the subject drop. By pursueing the matter all you are going to do is promulgate hate and discontent within your family- which is a sin unto itself !
I second this. I suppose you could make an agrument for saying something once (especially if she mentioned it offhand that she was on ABC). But that's it.

Honestly, I really can't see discussing my sister's sex life with her, much less bringing the subject up.
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  #10  
Old May 2, '12, 10:25 am
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Luna Lovecraft Luna Lovecraft is offline
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Default Re: My sister is taking contraception. What should I do?

Quote:
Originally Posted by JD27076 View Post
My sister is not a Catholic, shes not really religious at all.

I told her its a mortal sin to take contraception. But she seemed not to care. Shes married and has 1 infant child, girl.

What should I do that isn't intrusive, but something that I just don't linger back and just don't say anything.

She says she doesn't want another baby, I said, then just don't have sex....Now I am not Married, nor at the age to get married, so I am not sure what is going on with feelings or the urge to have sexual intercourse.

I'm not sure what to do or say. Can you help?

Thanks
-Justin.
Your sister is a married, adult woman who isn't even Catholic. Her decision to use ABC, how many children she wants to have, and her sexual behaviors are absolutely none of your business. The only people who are or should be concerned with these issues are your sister and her husband, in consultation with their physician(s) or other health care providers.

Don't try to become a third party in your sister's marriage. You might be shutting yourself out of your sister's life. If my lifelong Catholic brother dared asked me about my reproductive habits I'd think he'd lost his mind, and it would be a good long while before we spoke again. By asking intrusive questions and giving suggestions about your sister's sex life, you risk turning her and her husband away from the Church.

Luna
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  #11  
Old May 3, '12, 4:56 pm
Mystic Banana Mystic Banana is offline
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Exclamation Re: My sister is taking contraception. What should I do?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Luna Lovecraft View Post
Your sister is a married, adult woman who isn't even Catholic. Her decision to use ABC, how many children she wants to have, and her sexual behaviors are absolutely none of your business. The only people who are or should be concerned with these issues are your sister and her husband, in consultation with their physician(s) or other health care providers.

Don't try to become a third party in your sister's marriage. You might be shutting yourself out of your sister's life. If my lifelong Catholic brother dared asked me about my reproductive habits I'd think he'd lost his mind, and it would be a good long while before we spoke again. By asking intrusive questions and giving suggestions about your sister's sex life, you risk turning her and her husband away from the Church.

Luna
I think maybe you're ganging up a little bit too much here - and missing her point, and fundamentally, THE point. At the end of the day, it IS her business. We're not supposed to be just letting people we know (or for that matter, even those we don't know) do thing we believe are bad for them without saying anything - not if we care about them!
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  #12  
Old May 3, '12, 7:45 pm
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Luna Lovecraft Luna Lovecraft is offline
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Default Re: My sister is taking contraception. What should I do?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mystic Banana View Post
I think maybe you're ganging up a little bit too much here - and missing her point, and fundamentally, THE point. At the end of the day, it IS her business. We're not supposed to be just letting people we know (or for that matter, even those we don't know) do thing we believe are bad for them without saying anything - not if we care about them!
The only two people who determine the sexual and reproductive behaviors that happen within a marriage are the husband and the wife. If they follow the teachings of their faith, fantastic (the family of which the OP speaks is not Catholic). If they don't it's on them.

Everyone else should mind their own business.

No one - and I mean no one - welcomes an uninvited third party into their marriage asking all kinds of intrusive, personal questions and giving unsolicited advice.

The OP needs to keep her views of her married sister's sex life to herself.

Luna
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  #13  
Old May 3, '12, 7:49 pm
sw85 sw85 is offline
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Default Re: My sister is taking contraception. What should I do?

Quote:
Originally Posted by JD27076 View Post
My sister is not a Catholic, shes not really religious at all.

I told her its a mortal sin to take contraception. But she seemed not to care. Shes married and has 1 infant child, girl.

What should I do that isn't intrusive, but something that I just don't linger back and just don't say anything.

She says she doesn't want another baby, I said, then just don't have sex....Now I am not Married, nor at the age to get married, so I am not sure what is going on with feelings or the urge to have sexual intercourse.

I'm not sure what to do or say. Can you help?

Thanks
-Justin.
Clearly you should tackle her, wrestle all the pills out of her hand and flush them down the toilet! (I'm kidding. Please down do that).

What else can you do? You've done your duty. It doesn't appear your sister shares your religious sentiments so I doubt any appeal to them would work. Pray for her and leave a copy of Edward Feser's Aquinas lying on the coffee table, and hope for the best.
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  #14  
Old May 3, '12, 8:04 pm
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DaddyGirl DaddyGirl is offline
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Default Re: My sister is taking contraception. What should I do?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Luna Lovecraft View Post
Your sister is a married, adult woman who isn't even Catholic. Her decision to use ABC, how many children she wants to have, and her sexual behaviors are absolutely none of your business. The only people who are or should be concerned with these issues are your sister and her husband, in consultation with their physician(s) or other health care providers.

Don't try to become a third party in your sister's marriage. You might be shutting yourself out of your sister's life. If my lifelong Catholic brother dared asked me about my reproductive habits I'd think he'd lost his mind, and it would be a good long while before we spoke again. By asking intrusive questions and giving suggestions about your sister's sex life, you risk turning her and her husband away from the Church.

Luna

Brilliant as always, Luna-L!
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  #15  
Old May 3, '12, 8:22 pm
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SilverLight SilverLight is offline
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Smile Re: My sister is taking contraception. What should I do?

Quote:
Originally Posted by JD27076 View Post
My sister is not a Catholic, shes not really religious at all.

I told her its a mortal sin to take contraception. But she seemed not to care. Shes married and has 1 infant child, girl.

What should I do that isn't intrusive, but something that I just don't linger back and just don't say anything.

She says she doesn't want another baby, I said, then just don't have sex....Now I am not Married, nor at the age to get married, so I am not sure what is going on with feelings or the urge to have sexual intercourse.

I'm not sure what to do or say. Can you help?

Thanks
-Justin.
It's her choice in the end you can't force anyone to do anything.
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