Went to my first Mass...Finally

shutterbugmom27 · #1 May 6, '12, 11:05 am

I have not attended Mass since I was a little girl. But I remember it. I was baptised Catholic as an infant, but never was confirmed or anything. But I decided recently that I wanted to complete the Sacraments. So I have started attending meetings that are basically getting ready for RCIA at my local parish. I met with the Faith Formation director and I even had a member of the Parish Welcoming Committee come to my home last week.
But I had not attended Mass yet. I was too nervous. Being in new groups of people gives me a lot of anxiety. So I have had a hard time getting up enough courage to go to mass. This has been going on for over a month now. But today I did it. My almost 13 year old daughter went with me. She made me go even though my nerves were getting the best of me. We were handed a song book as we went in. Once we walked into the church, my nerves were fine. But..........
I was disappointed. When we walked in there was a band playing and lots of people chatting. The band really threw me off. They were playing music and singing. They were songs from the songbook I was handed. There had a huge sign up from the stated the numbers of the songs they were going to be playing during the service. I didn't follow along and sing. Then the procession came in with the priest who was filling on for the Monsignor that was out for whatever reason. The band played for a lot of the service. It was very modern sounding. Then they did the peace be with you and everyone around us was shaking hands, which I participated in.
We ended up leaving when Communion started because my daughter was not feeling well.

But I don't feel like I was in a Catholic church. It is a very modern church. It just didn't feel Catholic to me. I left feeling very disappointed.

And I felt sad that my daughter didn't get to experience what I did as a child.

So now I don't know what to do. I will continue going to the meetings and stuff for RCIA, because I still want to complete my Sacraments. I still want to Be Catholic. And I want to support my local Parish, but I don't like this feeling. I told my daughter I will take her to a nearby city in a few weeks where I know there are some old Catholic churches so she can see what I saw as a kid.

Heather

Non sum dignus · #2 May 6, '12, 11:31 am

A lot of us here are old-school types, and the modern demeanor in many churches can be difficult for us to accept. Keep your focus on Jesus, though. It's really all about him. Now, there are teaching errors in some parishes, and some parishes offer a Mass well outside the rubrics, and that can be anywhere from distracting to harmful. But start with the foundation of pursuing the Christ. He will lead you where you need to go.

Usige · #3 May 6, '12, 11:57 am

First off, welcome Home.

Don't let this experience discourage you or your daughter. I know how you feel, I often find the music and conduct of many at my local parish to be a bit distracting. Some times it's to the point that I feel empty inside rather than uplifted. At those times I look to Christ upon the cross and offer up my disappointment as a form of suffering with our Lord.

My only advice is to see if one of the parishes near you take an approach that is more inline with what you remember as a child. If you cannot find one, then put all your focus on the Lord and the true meaning of the Mass. Just try to block out the "religious entertainment" atmosphere that too often invades many Masses. If you focus on Christ I often find that I get the strength to block out those things that annoy and distract me.

mab23 · #4 May 6, '12, 1:13 pm

I think it would be wise to stick out your RCIA program - then go church shopping - find the ones you likes and services you like!

all the best and God bless!

SecretaryMonday · #5 May 6, '12, 1:29 pm

I'm glad you have reverent memories that you would like to share with your daughter. I come from a Protestant background, and when I first began to attend Mass as an adult, I felt disappointed because it wasn't that different from non-Catholic services that I was accustomed to. I think that I had expected to be awed by something ancient, towering and strange. Instead I was "welcomed", which wasn't what I was hoping for...

I have found that the awe is finally creeping in, though; it just took a while for it to register! Most importantly, Christ is there in the Eucharist!
Perhaps you may find that daily Mass feels more "Catholic-y"; that has been my experience, when I'm able to attend. There is no whirlwind of peppy music. The mood seems a little more focused and solemn. Everyone sings a capella. Often there is a novena afterward or a rosary before. And occasionally someone from the little group plays a practical joke and everybody titters.

Irishgal49 · #6 May 6, '12, 1:36 pm

Quote:

Originally Posted by mab23

I think it would be wise to stick out your RCIA program - then go church shopping - find the ones you likes and services you like!

all the best and God bless!

Since you haven't been to Mass there before, it could be that this was just one Mass. We have 3 on Sunday, a shorter mass without the choir at 8, full mass with incense and all the great traditional things I love at 11, and guitar/contemporary mass at 5 pm that is geared for the youth. See if this church is the same, just because one Mass was like that doesn't mean they all are like that.

I agree that you want to finish RCIA where you are at but if they are worshipping this way you can always find a church that has a more traditional approach once you finish RCIA--welcome home and don't be discouraged. Lots of churches offer great traditional mass and I'm sure you will find a great home where you can show your daughter all that spoke to you as a child. WELCOME HOME!!

shutterbugmom27 · #7 May 6, '12, 3:00 pm

Thank you everyone. I am going to try all the different times of Mass. Maybe a different time will appeal to me more. We will see. I was also pointed in the direction of the FSSP website and found a Parish that is about 35 miles away that I hope to check out and at least attend occasionally. I will not give up though. I will go through RCIA at my home parish and then if I am still uncomfortable with it all, I will shop around.

Thank you everyone for the encouraging words.

Heather

CalCatholic · #8 May 6, '12, 3:13 pm

Quote:

Originally Posted by shutterbugmom27

Thank you everyone. I am going to try all the different times of Mass. Maybe a different time will appeal to me more. We will see. I was also pointed in the direction of the FSSP website and found a Parish that is about 35 miles away that I hope to check out and at least attend occasionally. I will not give up though. I will go through RCIA at my home parish and then if I am still uncomfortable with it all, I will shop around.

Thank you everyone for the encouraging words.

Heather

The FSSP church is still not in communion with Rome. Call your local Archdiocese and ask if any of the parishes have a Latin Mass.

SecretaryMonday · #9 May 6, '12, 3:27 pm

Quote:

Originally Posted by CalCatholic

The FSSP church is still not in communion with Rome. Call your local Archdiocese and ask if any of the parishes have a Latin Mass.

Were you thinking of the SSPX?

CalCatholic · #10 May 6, '12, 3:32 pm

Quote:

Originally Posted by SecretaryMonday

Were you thinking of the SSPX?

OOOPS!!!, yeah my brain was not fully engaged. Thanks for the correction!.

SecretaryMonday · #11 May 6, '12, 3:38 pm

Quote:

Originally Posted by CalCatholic

OOOPS!!!, yeah my brain was not fully engaged. Thanks for the correction!.

IgnatiusofNJ · #12 May 8, '12, 12:25 pm

My Church does that sometimes. I'm not a fan of the hippy-dippy acoustic guitars and hand clapping, but luckily it's more often than not a more reverent affair.

Question: Did this happen to be a First Communion mass? My Church was like that this past Sunday because of that. I think they do that when there are more kids taking part, I guess to keep their attention.