Alcohol - Page 3

PatriceA · #31 May 7, '12, 10:44 am

Quote:

Originally Posted by TheRealJuliane

Sure, but those people aren't posting questions on CAF wondering if they have a problem.

True, I think if you have to ask the question "out loud", you probably already know the answer.

Luna Lovecraft · #32 May 7, '12, 10:51 am

Quote:

Originally Posted by missme22

Well, I decided to take the bull by the horns and do the Master Cleanse. It will surely kick me of my addictions. It's hard, but it puts things in perspective. If anyone has done it... Please offer tips!

If you think you're an alcoholic, "problem drinker" or whatever you choose to label it, please see your physician, who can help you determine if you do have a true addiction and get you in touch with community and medical/mental health resources to help you.

I've know any number of alcoholics in my time - not two-glasses-of-wine-with-dinner drinkers - but hardcore, lost-the-house-career-marriage-dog drunks. I'm related to most of them. None of them got or stayed dry from doing a "cleanse." A couple of them required hospitalization to detox, my brother detoxed in jail after his umpteenth DUI arrest, and all of them work a program (AA or something similar) to stay dry.

Luna

EasterJoy · #33 May 7, '12, 4:07 pm

Quote:

Originally Posted by TheRealJuliane

Sure, but those people aren't posting questions on CAF wondering if they have a problem.

CAF is the one place where I take the question "is this wrong?" with a grain of salt. We have people here who actually examine their consciences on a regular basis, and that makes it possible to err in the other direction, something that isn't happening quite so much in the secular world.

I'd say drinking alone isn't a problem, but drinking in secret is. If you're leaving your empty wine glass and the wine bottle out where anyone could see it, if it never occurs to you to hide how much you're drinking, that is a good sign. Likewise, drinking to celebrate is not a bad sign, but not being able to celebrate unless you have some alcohol is.

Drinking when you're feeling down...hey, alcohol is a depressant. Wrong medication. Don't do it. Find some other way to relax and unwind until you're feeling better.

TheRealJuliane · #34 May 7, '12, 4:19 pm

Quote:

Originally Posted by EasterJoy

CAF is the one place where I take the question "is this wrong?" with a grain of salt. We have people here who actually examine their consciences on a regular basis, and that makes it possible to err in the other direction, something that isn't happening quite so much in the secular world.

I'd say drinking alone isn't a problem, but drinking in secret is. If you're leaving your empty wine glass and the wine bottle out where anyone could see it, if it never occurs to you to hide how much you're drinking, that is a good sign. Likewise, drinking to celebrate is not a bad sign, but not being able to celebrate unless you have some alcohol is.

Drinking when you're feeling down...hey, alcohol is a depressant. Wrong medication. Don't do it. Find some other way to relax and unwind until you're feeling better.

Good point. We do look inward more intensely than many folks "out there" in the world.

Drinking to deal with emotions or stress is a horrible idea and an indication that one's tools for living are not very useful. At first, it seems to help and then the depression can snowball and leave one in a very bad situation. For me, with chronic depression, it's a VERY bad idea to drink when I am feeling down or stressed. It's God I need to turn to, not a bottle.

EasterJoy · #35 May 7, '12, 4:31 pm

Quote:

Originally Posted by TheRealJuliane

It's God I need to turn to, not a bottle.

And do not forget that Christ took on flesh and put other human beings in the Body of Christ for a reason. Find a good friend, someone you can see and hear in the flesh if that is at all possible, and just spend time with them. Nothing against us here online, but it isn't the same.

garn9173 · #36 May 8, '12, 3:47 pm

To those who think drinking is a sin, Cardnail Dolan (he is a riot!) on a town hall meeting on Sirius' Catholic Channel:

Quote:

I love beer.

Favorite beer: Budwesier

Kathryn Ann · #37 May 8, '12, 5:51 pm

Quote:

Originally Posted by missme22

I'm trying to get honest with myself and I'm wondering if I have a drinking problem. I don't wake up and drink or anything but I have at least 2 glasses of wine a night. I was never a drinker but I started having wine because my husband did every night. Now he opens a bottle every night. I will drink alone, too. It's usually to calm down and relax. I've tried curtailing it and I usually can. But it's not easy. It doesn't effect my work, and it's not an "issue" but I know it's not normal. What do you think?

God bless you, missme22. You are a smart person

to consider your own individual reaction to alcohol. Two glasses of wine a day (with a meal) may be fine for one person, but for another, or for one unable to go without it, I would have a concern.

As a family member of someone who died of alcoholism, I applaud your even questioning the right amounts and how you react to your own use of alcohol. This is such an individual thing, of course, so I would never judge another person. It's not whether you enjoy those two glasses of wine....it's whether you could stop anytime you wanted and feel calm. As a few others have replied, that is a good test.

The person in my family who had a severe drinking problem began with just a glass or two to "relax" and then it escalated over the years. This does not mean everyone will do that. And there are many people whose health is enhanced with a glass of wine after dinner. Some people seem genetically prone to alcoholism, and so it's good to know one's own limits.

I have been, all my life, a teetotaler, because of seeing someone I love destroyed by alcohol. Again, that's just my experience. I found this interesting link below, comparing, country by country rates of alcohol - related illness. Literally, it is quite sobering, seeing the U.S. near the top.
http://www.nationmaster.com/graph/mo...-liver-disease

Some individuals simply enjoy a few glasses of wine each day with a meal, as they do in Europe. If everyone simply did that, in moderation and with proper nutrition, there would be fewer instances of alcoholism. From my own observations, I have to say that of all the people I know who drink, more than a few could not enjoy themselves at a party without alcohol, and the amount consumed often seems to be excessive. Slurred speech, loss of inhibition, etc. Again, all this is very individual.

I'm hoping this is something you feel comfortable talking about with your trusted physician.
It's always good to get things out in the open.

Love and prayers,

Kathryn Ann

Et Cetera · #38 May 8, '12, 7:06 pm

I just had some margaritas with my friends hahah yummm.

Kathryn Ann · #39 May 8, '12, 7:55 pm

Quote:

Originally Posted by thetruth0flife

I think that you should replace the wine with something more fresh or a diferent kind of habit to relax.

You can relax by listening to diferent kinds of music or simply taking a walk down some near park. It's up to you. Peace.

Great idea! Music and walking are very relaxing and healthy habits. And for something fresh to drink, I happen to love pure white tea, which comes in many flavors, or a white tea with fresh ginger root.
I brew it myself for iced tea as well.
Kathryn Ann

LaughingBoy1503 · #40 May 8, '12, 10:59 pm

Seems fine to me. If you can cut back alittle, or stop when you want, you do not have a problem. If you cannot... it means that you do not want to for some reason, and you need to figure out why. If you really want to stop or cut back, you will. No excuses such as "I want to but I cant." I had a alcohol problem in the past, but have learned to control it.

Do not listen to any fanatical twelve steppers on the matter. Not all, but most see everyone as a potential alcoholic and saying that you think you might have a problem will only make them try to convince you that you need to go to alcoholics anonymous. A non fanatical a.a. member might say that maybe you do not need a.a. A fanatical one will say that you have a disease and that you need a.a. or you may die from alcoholism

You can control your drinking by yourself and with prayer. Believe me, I know.

tundramom · #41 May 9, '12, 8:50 am

Ok, I'll go out on a limb here...

I am an alcoholic. I started drinking wine at night to "calm down" or "relax". It worked. I didn't plan on being an alcoholic. That was never my intention. I went to a Priest who is in recovery and talked at length to him. He determined I wasn't and I went on with my life.

Fast forward 6 years and I was in detox, treatment, and a halfway house. I nearly lost my husband and family and everything good in my life. It can happen to anyone. The problem is never how much you drink or the frequency with which you drink. It is ALWAYS an "allergy of the body and an obsession of the mind."

I won't hit you over the head with the big book of AA, but if you want to talk privately, I am here. Send me a pm and I'll respond. Also, remember the you and only you are the one who can determine whether you have a problem or not. Others can only speculate. AA has worked for me. It isn't always necessary for others.

Steph

maryjk · #42 May 9, '12, 9:04 am

Quote:

Originally Posted by tundramom

I won't hit you over the head with the big book of AA, but if you want to talk privately, I am here. Send me a pm and I'll respond. Also, remember the you and only you are the one who can determine whether you have a problem or not. Others can only speculate. AA has worked for me. It isn't always necessary for others.

Steph

Although that is a great AA line, others certainly can tell you that you have a drinking problem or that you are an alcoholic. (If it walks like a duck, talks like a duck, chances are it is a duck.)

My grandfather drank two beers before work, came home for lunch and had two more. After work he switched to the hard stuff and drank until he either passed out or fell asleep (his words for passing out.) My grandfather was an alcoholic. He never said it, but I saw it.

My father drank every day. We went through beer and whiskey like it was water. Later in life he went to AA and claimed to be an alcoholic. He was an alcoholic well before he every said it.

If AA wants to claim that alcoholism is a disease, then like cancer, others can tell you that you have it.

LSK · #43 May 9, '12, 3:11 pm

Quote:

Originally Posted by missme22

I'm trying to get honest with myself and I'm wondering if I have a drinking problem. I don't wake up and drink or anything but I have at least 2 glasses of wine a night. I was never a drinker but I started having wine because my husband did every night. Now he opens a bottle every night. I will drink alone, too. It's usually to calm down and relax. I've tried curtailing it and I usually can. But it's not easy. It doesn't effect my work, and it's not an "issue" but I know it's not normal. What do you think?

My experience has been this:

1. whenever someone says they have 2 drinks they really mean they have a lot but are trying to come up with a good number that doesn't sound like too much. Law Enforcement will tell you that the most common answer from a stopped driver to the question, "Have you been drinking tonight?" is "I had two beers" (or glasses of wine).

2. No one who is a normal, social drinker EVER asks themselves if they are drinking too much. Seriously. They never do. It is not an issue for them. It would be like me asking if I dance the rhumba too much.

3. If you really want to figure this out then just stop drinking. Put it away. don't buy it. swear off forever, with or without a solemn oath. see how long you can go without THINKING about drinking....and then see how long you can go without drinking alcohol at all. You might surprise yourself and see that you stopped from getting into a bad habit before it gets too late. Or you might surprise yourself and find out you cannot stop thinking about drinking. Or you might discover you can't stop for longer than say 30 days without drinking again.

There is nothing immoral about drinking...but if this is a question bothering you then you owe it to yourself to test the waters.

Now, I must go...it is time to RHUMBA....

tundramom · #44 May 10, '12, 9:55 pm

Quote:

Originally Posted by maryjk

Although that is a great AA line, others certainly can tell you that you have a drinking problem or that you are an alcoholic. (If it walks like a duck, talks like a duck, chances are it is a duck.)

My grandfather drank two beers before work, came home for lunch and had two more. After work he switched to the hard stuff and drank until he either passed out or fell asleep (his words for passing out.) My grandfather was an alcoholic. He never said it, but I saw it.

My father drank every day. We went through beer and whiskey like it was water. Later in life he went to AA and claimed to be an alcoholic. He was an alcoholic well before he every said it.

If AA wants to claim that alcoholism is a disease, then like cancer, others can tell you that you have it.

It's not just a line... it shows a willingness to admit that you are. I knew well before I ever admitted it outloud, and like you've said of course others saw it. Most of my drinking was done in secret, alone, after the kids had gone to bed and the hubby was out of town. My behavior certainly was out of whack though. AA doesn't call alcoholism a disease. We call it "an allergy of the body and an obsession of the mind". The American medical association has labeled it a disease. The point is no one knows what the obsession is but the person themselves. That's why only that person can determine it. If someone else could have read my mind (the obsession part) then I would agree with you.

Steph