When do you stop helping the homeless?

ThinkingSapien · #1 May 11, '12, 8:47 am

In walking around the streets of Atlanta I have found that it isn't hard to encounter a homeless person. But I've also found it's not hard to find people pretending to be homeless out to exploit the kindness of strangers by either using a story to get cash for non-essential purposes (ex: alcohol or cigarettes). To avoid exploitation and for reasons of my own safety I'm electing to nolonger respond to request for money/food for people that I meet on the street and just stick with contributing to charitible organizations.

I was wondering ig any one else had any thoughts on this; have you ever found it necessary to make a policy against helping some one that may be in need.

**adrift** · #2 May 11, '12, 9:24 am

For the reasons you list, I too only give to organizations where there is accountability.

If I know the situation, I will help. In one area, I have gotten to know the people. One was offered a job but he wouldn't take it because his begging was more profitable. We have signs here also that says not to give to beggars because it doesn't help them.

Maria1993 · #3 May 11, '12, 9:42 am

If you buy a homeless person a sandwhich, there is no wrong in that. I get the money thing. But if they were REALLY in need they would take food.

Luna Lovecraft · #4 May 11, '12, 9:54 am

Quote:

Originally Posted by ThinkingSapien

...have you ever found it necessary to make a policy against helping some one that may be in need.

Me? No. If I have something to give to someone who asks, they get it. Change, food, a bottle of water, the occasional bag of dog food for their pooch, they get it if it's mine to give.

I have a home. I have a modicum of financial security. I don't have any addictions, and my mental illness extends to an anxiety disorder that doesn't keep me from living a typical, middle-class life. I have a husband who'd take care of me if I became disabled, and I've got stepdaughters who'll probably stand by me when I'm old and feeble. In this respect I'm far, far more fortunate than those who sleep rough and approach strangers day in and day out for their daily bread. I'm 51 years old, and forking over spare change as well as buying sandwiches and sodas and dog food hasn't diminished my or my family's lives so far, so I figure I'll keep doing it until I can't anymore.

Luna

wondrousgnat · #5 May 11, '12, 10:30 am

The Methodist church three doors away from our house shelters homeless. Last night we brought them food. And the day before we brought some food to the food pantry at the Catholic church. But we never give directly to the homeless except on one ocassion when we bought a man a sandwich (we did not give him the money).

ThinkingSapien · #6 May 11, '12, 10:56 am

Quote:

Originally Posted by adrift

If I know the situation, I will help. In one area, I have gotten to know the people.

Likewise. Though there are some people that I have gotten to know that I won't help because I've found their problems stem from a refusal to avoid actions that cause the problem (like a friend with what I would summarize as a shopping addiction that had problems with being behind on bills).

I think I liked giving much more when I actually felt like it was making a positive difference in one's life and I was ignorant of the exploitive intents of some. Now at times I feel that it is a dice roll.

Quote:

Originally Posted by adrift

. We have signs here also that says not to give to beggars because it doesn't help them.

Pan-handling is illegal in this area and has been for a few years. So instead of sitting against a building asking for change the tendency is to walk the street and try to start conversations with people. There are shelters that will feed some. Though any one of the shelters has a limit on the number of people admitted during the night.

I actually feel a little bad. I just yelled for some one to go away only a few moments ago. I realized I neglected to get cash to pay for parking before I left home (you pay when you depart the lot) so I had to go to an ATM. I did a minimum withdraw since I'm not comfortable at open ATMs. A homeless guy that frequents this area started to approach me to ask for money. Chances are that he was probably of no *real* threat to me. But the scenario of some one entering into "my space" while I am using an ATM is a *perceived* threat to me. And this perception is magnified by what at times seems like weekly attempted assults on GA Tech students in the area for theft.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Maria1993

If you buy a homeless person a sandwhich, there is no wrong in that. I get the money thing. But if they were REALLY in need they would take food.

I've tried that. I've said "I won't give you money, but I will purchase food for you." The offer has been accepted. Some times it works. Other times I've seen the food thrown away right after the person thought I was outside of visual range.

I just don't like feeling exploited or that I've paid for good food to go to complete waste.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Luna Lovecraft

[...]I'm 51 years old, and forking over spare change as well as buying sandwiches and sodas and dog food hasn't diminished my or my family's lives so far, so I figure I'll keep doing it until I can't anymore.[...]

Ah, well the only thing for which I use cash is to pay for parking. It is always in denominations of $5. So there is no spare change. Once a slot opens up for monthly parking there will be no cash at all, only electronic transfers.

ThinkingSapien · #7 May 11, '12, 11:00 am

Quote:

Originally Posted by wondrousgnat

The Methodist church three doors away from our house shelters homeless. Last night we brought them food. And the day before we brought some food to the food pantry at the Catholic church. But we never give directly to the homeless except on one ocassion when we bought a man a sandwich (we did not give him the money).

Overall that sounds good, as it is compatible with the policy I'm adopting.

My sister got into some organization called "Meals on wheels." They qualify that some one is in need (it's usually elderly, but not limited to that) and volunteers take the food to them. It actually seems to satisfy the social needs of some as from what my sister has told me some of the people on her route don't get a lot of social interaction and are otherwise isolated.

Luna Lovecraft · #8 May 11, '12, 11:49 am

Quote:

Originally Posted by ThinkingSapien

Ah, well the only thing for which I use cash is to pay for parking. It is always in denominations of $5. So there is no spare change. Once a slot opens up for monthly parking there will be no cash at all, only electronic transfers.

I typically don't have much cash money on me, too. Because of my work situation I keep my wallet locked up in my car, which is less likely to get stolen in the parking lot than me pick pocketed (yes, my working conditions are "interesting"). But if I have cash money it's usually small denominations or bits of loose change. I can always get more of both. People who ask me for it may not.

The way I look at it is this - Christ is in all of us. The homeless man who lives behind the strip mall down the street from my condo, the unmedicated schizophrenic guy who walks up and down my street all day talking to the air, the shaggy guy with the little shaggy dog and homemade cross who shouts the Good News every morning at the intersection, and the mom with the two hungry little girls who appeared on my doorstep three Sundays ago, when they ask me for kibble or baloney sandwiches or bus fare or money, that's like Christ asking me for those things. So if I've got it, I give it. And when I give it, I assume it's going to be used for the good.

Don't get me wrong, I also tithe and donate to my church's food pantry. I'm not so irresponsible that I'd fall behind on my mortgage because I've given away my entire paycheck or let my stepdaughters go hungry because I've given away everything in the refrigerator. But I'm not going to fall into financial ruin buying some bags of dog food when I'm at the pet store, and the money I've handed out this month just means I won't go to the movies again until June. I'll survive.

Another thing to consider is the human contact that all of us need that the marginalized don't get nearly enough of. I think the smile and the touch and the polite exchange of words that occur when we give money or things to individuals counts for a lot, for both the giver and the recipient, spiritually and emotionally. It might even be the most important thing you give. I think Rev. Maurice Chase, who died late last year, understood this very well.

Luna

ThinkingSapien · #9 May 11, '12, 8:07 pm

Quote:

Originally Posted by Luna Lovecraft

I typically don't have much cash money on me, too. Because of my work situation I keep my wallet locked up in my car, which is less likely to get stolen in the parking lot than me pick pocketed (yes, my working conditions are "interesting").

Sounds interesting indeed. I couldn't do that as I'd have concerns for my car still being there when I get back (I've had a car stolen before) and being unable to produce a government issued ID when requested by an officer is an offense for which one can be arrested.

So I keep my wallet on me.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Luna Lovecraft

Don't get me wrong, I also tithe and donate to my church's food pantry. I'm not so irresponsible that I'd fall behind on my mortgage because I've given away my entire paycheck or let my stepdaughters go hungry because I've given away everything in the refrigerator. But I'm not going to fall into financial ruin buying some bags of dog food when I'm at the pet store, and the money I've handed out this month just means I won't go to the movies again until June. I'll survive.

I'm not in danger of financial ruin, but there seem to be an endless supply of people asking for things. Some people have fallen on bad times, some seem to have continually damaging behaviour, some are in parasitic relationships (which is really bad because if you try to help the person they hand the resources over to their parasite). It's hard to distinguish one from another at a distance.

PrayHarder · #10 May 11, '12, 10:23 pm

Lived in San Francisco for a while and ran into similar issues. If I had left over food from a restaurant, I would give it to a homeless person. However, I don't give money to homeless people out of the assumption they would spend it on vices. But I do give donations to charities, food banks, and other organizations that help the poor. I think charitable donations to organziations with good track records is a good way to help the homeless.

**tonyrey** · #11 May 12, '12, 3:50 am

In India I used to offer bananas to beggars - which were sometimes rejected! Those who accepted them gratefully were truly desperate...

Credo in Deum · #12 May 12, '12, 12:30 pm

Quote:

Originally Posted by tonyrey

In India I used to offer bananas to beggars - which were sometimes rejected! Those who accepted them gratefully were truly desperate...

I personally wouldn't be quick to make such a judgment regarding those in need. There are a lot of people who poison food and some people may be allergic to certain foods so IMHO homeless people have every right to be cautious of what they eat and what they don't eat.

I personally give orginizations and individual homeless people money and pray they both will do the right thing with it.

chataranga · #13 May 23, '12, 12:56 pm

Even if we've adopted a "policy" of some sort to not help the homeless for one reason or another there are so many folks in the world that need help and money isn't the only way. My wife and I deliver meals on wheels and yes some of these folks don't get much human interaction so it's tough sometimes to tell them we need to be moving along. We also put some extra to the grocery bill when the local supermarket is asking for money to assist the food pantry etc. all we do is ask them to add 2-5 extra dollars to the bill. Sometimes we have given money directly to someone on the street. My view is that if they use it to buy booze,drugs,sex, or whatever vice the may have that is them creating bad karma on themselves and does nothing to diminish the good karma I've created or tried to create for me. My wife and I have a ""policy" of not donating to large well known organizations because of the graft and misuse we've heard of over the years. We also don't appreciate the annual solicitations for more cash. We try to keep it local as often as possible. Maybe donating canned goods to the local church etc. I've also donated blood for decades and the only thing that costs me is "time-talents-and treasures" without the use of money other than what it costs to get to the site and back. Someone doesn't need to be homeless to be in need. If you need a policy to help certain individuals then look about and maybe you'll see someone else that you would feel more comfortable helping. Just a thought-Blessings.

Rhubarb · #14 May 23, '12, 9:37 pm

Does the situation of the person you are giving diminish the fact that you are sacrificing of yourself for another? Does loving charity know only certain definitions of needy?

Obviously I'm asking these rhetorically. But I think a kind action or generous example can have an impact on many people in many ways, not just the person getting a few dimes. When tuition allows, I try to keep a few bucks on me in cash wherever I go for just this reason.

mackbrislawn · #15 May 24, '12, 2:13 pm

Quote:

Originally Posted by ThinkingSapien

In walking around the streets of Atlanta I have found that it isn't hard to encounter a homeless person. But I've also found it's not hard to find people pretending to be homeless out to exploit the kindness of strangers by either using a story to get cash for non-essential purposes (ex: alcohol or cigarettes). To avoid exploitation and for reasons of my own safety I'm electing to nolonger respond to request for money/food for people that I meet on the street and just stick with contributing to charitible organizations.

I was wondering ig any one else had any thoughts on this; have you ever found it necessary to make a policy against helping some one that may be in need.

If they ask for money to buy an alcoholic beverage, I give it to them. If they say it is for their starving wife and kids, I know they are BS'ing and don't give it to them.