Mother's Day

[utah rose]

I wonder how mothers whose mothers are deceased handle Mother's Day? My mother has been dead--she died suddenly 19 years ago- and it still hurts on that day, particularly with the advertisements and Catholic appeals for cards that I receive in the mail. It would help if some of these would offer Mass cards for the deceased mothers instead of taking it for granted that all still have living mothers.

Also, do any of you have grown sons or daughters that seem indifferent to that day? It's not that I want a gift, just a card or phone call, but sometimes my daughter forgets these things, and I feel bad believing somehow I've been a bad mother. She is also a fallen away Catholic and this somehow makes it worse although I pray many Rosaries and Novenas for her.

My husband isn't much help as he's not too healthy so we seldom go out to dinner, and besides I feel that really I'm not his mother.

Would just like to know how other women (and men) handle this. And somehow it seems worse for me because in many ways my mom and I weren't very close as we have different personalities.

[ChrisRedfield47]

Remember that you also have the best Mother any person can ever have.

Mary. She loves you.

[vmstevens1]

Though it might be a bit sorrowful, look at those old photos. Let yourself remember your mother and talk to her, pray with her. Even when she has passed you can still continue to grow that relationship.

As for your daughter: just because she does not remember a birthday, an anniversary or Mother's day does NOT mean that you have been a bad mom! You obviously love your daughter very much. I will pray that she remembers and that you will enjoy the day to its fullest.

So on this upcoming Mother's day, if your daughter forgets (which she won't!), don't YOU forget what a wonderful mother you have been and are. And don't let one day of the year cancel out all of the other times your daughter says, "Mom, I love you....". And don't let it impact your relationship with her while you're still both here to enjoy each other.

By the way.... Happy Mother's Day!!!!

[utah rose]

Thank you and you certainly did make some good points. I guess I get a little blue because she lives out of state and I don't see her that often.

And yes you were right, she did remember me for Mother's Day.

I always pray for my mother on that day and May seems particularly hard for me because she died two days before Mother's Day and her birthday is at the end of the month.

I was hoping though to hear from others also and see what their coping mechanisms are.

Thanks so much for the posts!

[donsnow]

Good afternoon, Utah Rose,

First, Happy Mother's Day to you!

My mother died November 16, '97. Sometimes, it's like she's spiritually with me. Her church let me bring her eulogy at her funeral, and that helped.
My God mother was alive and that helped a lot. Father passed in April of '98. But, my God mother was still alive, and that helped.
My God mother passed in '99 and all three losses hit me.

What I have done, is on Mother's Day or the day before, send Mother's Day greetings to all the other mothers in my life, Sister in laws, my aunts when they were alive, friends, like that.

Just recently I have been turning more toward Holy Blessed Mother Mary.

All these years, obeying the Fourth Commandment has helped me, strangely enough. Honoring my Father and Mother makes them still important in my life ... gone but not missing, if that makes sense.

Thank you, for asking about us men, too.

God loves you,
Don