bad homily - Page 2

sacredcow · #16 May 14, '12, 7:50 am

/agree with MarkThompson - speak to the Deacon about it. be charitable vs. confrontational. be honest about how you interpreted the sermon. See your role as beneficial to the Parish by essentially supporting the Deacon by giving him honest feedback.

friendlymomma · #17 May 14, '12, 10:33 am

Quote:

Originally Posted by sacredcow

/agree with MarkThompson - speak to the Deacon about it. be charitable vs. confrontational. be honest about how you interpreted the sermon. See your role as beneficial to the Parish by essentially supporting the Deacon by giving him honest feedback.

How would I speak to the deacon? It would be strange for him to accept advice from someone who is not a member of the parish, and not even Catholic.

sacredcow · #18 May 15, '12, 8:33 am

Quote:

Originally Posted by friendlymomma

How would I speak to the deacon? It would be strange for him to accept advice from someone who is not a member of the parish, and not even Catholic.

Just approach him as one brother to another.."may I speak with you a few moments, I have some questions about your homily?"

try to think of something positive to say first. i.e., I love your speaking voice, but I am just not understanding your message" etc.

However, if you go to this with a prayer for him and for yourself, and ask the Holy Spirit to guide the conversation, you will be fine. be charitable, be honest, and listen.

constantconvert · #19 May 15, '12, 9:03 am

As a protestant convert I remember going through a lot of the same feelings. Homilies can be very hit and miss. RCIA can be very hit or miss. Sometimes I would cry out to God, "Really Lord, this is Your Church? Where is the teaching of Your word?!"

As for after church socializing, I will tell you right off that Catholics do not have the same idea of "fellowship" as protestants. Part of that is the way Mass is set up, prayer and silence (hopefully) before and after the Mass. Catholics primarily come to Mass to receive Eucharist, fellowship and the homily are secondary-- or maybe tertiary :P But there should be some opportunities to fellowship during the week, various apostolates, etc.

It seems in your other posts there are some secondary questions about if the parish is right for you. If I were assessing a parish I would check out:

1. Is there adoration in the parish?

2. What are the hours for Confession in the parish?

3. Is the Tabernacle is front and center?

4. Is there a crucifix? Statues of Jesus, Mary, Joseph? Kneelers?

5. Do at least some receive Eucharist on the tongue? Do people spend time in prayer before and after Mass?

I would look more at the earmarks of Orthodoxy than the people. The Catholic church is a big big place, with all kinds of people. You DO fit in because God has called you to the Catholic Church. It's not an easy transition.

friendlymomma · #20 May 15, '12, 9:25 pm

I read "Rome Sweet Home" and "How to go from Being a Good Evangelical to Committed Catholic in 95 Difficult Steps," among many other books. These were helpful in that they prepared me that I would not only say good-bye to many of my Protestant friends (or at least not be in their circles anymore), but that there would not be a Catholic replacement. In other words, I would not be able to count on having the same type of community that I was used to having at church. The ready-made, all-in-one stop for my social needs. While I am happy to give that up for the sake of Christ and a fullness of the truth, I really want to find a parish where I can hear about that fullness of truth, without having to filter out too much error. If I can't have one, I must have the other.

But if I never find the parish I am looking for, God will enrich me through these trials. At least there is a wonderful online community, and the saints, and I can always hope that more of my old friends will join me! (One of my closest friends has already decided to!)

Stylites · #21 May 16, '12, 5:31 am

As it has been said, fm, "Bloom where you are planted."

NewEnglandPriest · #22 May 16, '12, 5:48 am

The deacon might not preach every week. In most parishes in my area the parish deacon preaches about once a month.

englishredrose · #23 May 16, '12, 8:46 am

If it was me, rather than assume the deacon had it wrong I would approach him and ask him by saying that, I didn't understand him properly and would you help me work out what you did say.

Julian0404 · #24 May 16, '12, 6:47 pm

Thanks for your encouragement.
I think there is a big difference between church-hopping and a new Catholic (or will be Catholic hopefully next Easter!) trying to find a good parish. We do NOT want to church hop! My husband just said the same thing; he is afraid we are becoming church hoppers. I think he is too afraid of reverting to Protestant "practices."
But doesn't everyone out there think finding a good parish is important? How depressing and lonely is it to be shepherded by people you feel are not very mature in their faith? I love how God can use anyone and they don't have to be perfect, but you know what I am talking about here. Especially as it involves our new faith, and teaching our children, I think it is a big deal to not only have the Eucharist and the liturgy, but faithful teaching and a supportive Christian community.

Just one further point regarding your response above:
Your apt/home address determines your parish. You should attend and support the catholic church in the parish that you currently "live". The priests will likely be shifted and moved between the parishes, as most Bishops today use "rotation" of priests quite liberally, so your finding a "parish" is actually your finding a "priest" that suits you - whom will be gone before to long to another church in the diocese - which is the primary reason for rotating priests.
So, by shopping for a "good parish" you are reverting to the Protestant protocol of finding a pastor that suits your desires.

Maryann C · #25 May 16, '12, 7:43 pm

Quote:

Originally Posted by Julian0404

I am impressed that you listened critcally and more impressed that you redirected your children after the Mass to correct any misconceptions that may have grasped from the homily. You reflect the soul that the Church needs in this moment of time - seeking truth and discerning what may be untrue.

You will discover in your faith journey that not all priests are great homilists or that they focus on the Gospel message - same with deacons - so church hopping will prove rather tedious and confusing for your children. Pick one and stick with it, as the focus is not "the priest", it is JESUS and HIS presence and Sacraments.

With your enthusiasm and once you have entered the church I would encourage you enter into the CCD program and begin teaching the faith to children, which is a tremendous avenue to increase your knowledge as you study to answer their questions. This will begin your pursuit of Holiness and greatly assist with your own childrens formation.

And after Mass, the coffee and donuts time, is a good chance to ask the Deacon to clear up some questions you may have with his message.

What she said

As a convert and a military family where we have experienced life in at least 15 different Parishes and many more priests over the passed 20 + years I have been very thankful to learn that the difference between mass and any regular American Protestant service is that Mass is first and foremost about worshiping God and giving thanks by offering the sacrifice and being fed primarily by the Eucharist and then also the Word of God. The homily is not paramount , some priests are good ( our Decon gave an awesome one on Mother's day - one I would love to have a copy of to send to my mother) some make you cringe ( we had one priest who always told droll jokes and another who one could hardly understand because of his strong accent) but at the end of the day it was not about the homily and my instruction it was about my worship of God. As for RCIA ...well since I had already read my way into the Church before I started RCIA - that time was just a little offering of the virtue of patience to the Lord. Teh most important part for the RCIA process is that you find a good and knowledgeable sponsor who you can ask and discuss things with.

constantconvert · #26 May 16, '12, 8:24 pm

Quote:

Originally Posted by Julian0404

Just one further point regarding your response above:
Your apt/home address determines your parish. You should attend and support the catholic church in the parish that you currently "live". The priests will likely be shifted and moved between the parishes, as most Bishops today use "rotation" of priests quite liberally, so your finding a "parish" is actually your finding a "priest" that suits you - whom will be gone before to long to another church in the diocese - which is the primary reason for rotating priests.
So, by shopping for a "good parish" you are reverting to the Protestant protocol of finding a pastor that suits your desires.

Prior to 1983, when the law was changed, one was bound to the territorial parish. But now you have a choice of parishes.

constantconvert · #27 May 16, '12, 8:46 pm

Quote:

Originally Posted by Julian0404

Just one further point regarding your response above:
Your apt/home address determines your parish. You should attend and support the catholic church in the parish that you currently "live". The priests will likely be shifted and moved between the parishes, as most Bishops today use "rotation" of priests quite liberally, so your finding a "parish" is actually your finding a "priest" that suits you - whom will be gone before to long to another church in the diocese - which is the primary reason for rotating priests.
So, by shopping for a "good parish" you are reverting to the Protestant protocol of finding a pastor that suits your desires.

Actually, the law which assigned us to our territorial parish was changed in 1983. There's nothing which forbids us from choosing a parish outside our neighborhood.

constantconvert · #28 May 16, '12, 8:47 pm

Quote:

Originally Posted by Julian0404

Just one further point regarding your response above:
Your apt/home address determines your parish. You should attend and support the catholic church in the parish that you currently "live". The priests will likely be shifted and moved between the parishes, as most Bishops today use "rotation" of priests quite liberally, so your finding a "parish" is actually your finding a "priest" that suits you - whom will be gone before to long to another church in the diocese - which is the primary reason for rotating priests.
So, by shopping for a "good parish" you are reverting to the Protestant protocol of finding a pastor that suits your desires.

Actually, the law which assigned us to our territorial parish was changed in 1983. There's nothing which forbids us from choosing a parish outside our neighborhood.

EasterJoy · #29 May 16, '12, 10:34 pm

Quote:

Originally Posted by friendlymomma

How would I speak to the deacon? It would be strange for him to accept advice from someone who is not a member of the parish, and not even Catholic.

You start with, "Can you explain such and so, because it sounded like the literal meaing was A, while the Church teaches B, so I'm really confused." Then let him explain.

Thomas31 · #30 May 19, '12, 7:46 am

Quote:

Originally Posted by friendlymomma

Yes, I think the "shuffling out" has to do with the next services. There seem to be some kind of fellowship lunches after, but I don't know how to get involved with that; it doesn't look like the kind of thing that you can just invite yourself in.

Sigh. After being a Protestant all my life, I feel like an outsider at church now. It is worth any little sacrifice I make now, and I have hope that it will change for the better.

Hello... I also was raised protestant and was for almost 30 years. I was baptized catholic but ended up in the baptist church for all those years. And yes, I also know what its like to "not fit in" and "church hopping". I am catholic now and Loving it! I wish I was raised catholic. I know what you mean about a bad homily, but that happens in the protestant churches too. But the good thing about the catholic church vs. the protestant when it comes to that is, catholics have different priests each week or every couple giving the homily where in the protestant church your stuck with the same one lol. Atleast thats my experience for the most part. Hang in there. Keep coming on to catholic.com and ewtn.com and your faith will continue to Grow as I know mine has. As far as fitting in, I'm actually so glad that no one knows me where I go. I dont want to get to know others. I want a break from the "clicks" within churches. Its just so nice to go and leave and if there are activities going on, than I go and im friendly but I dont get involved much. I like it that way alot better. Your in my thoughts and prayers