Why do the " Bad Boys" get so many women? - Page 10

Pfaffenhoffen · #**136** May 16, '12, 1:07 am

Quote:

Originally Posted by MotherAtHeart

I'm sorry, but in my opinion, this is completely missing the mark - well at least for most women. This trend of women going for "bad boys" that we've seen all through many many generations goes a lot deeper than opposites attract. When "opposites attract" works, it means you agree fundamentally but they make your weaknesses stronger by being different than you.

In education, the field where I am, I have seen many good students complain why they were not appreciated but bad boys were.
I have seen a few dozen of bad boy+good girl dating do into excellent marriages.
So, that is my experience.
The reason? God knows.
I have my theory that opposite characters may balance each other, but it may fail.
I have seen good girls falling apart and missing classes with bad boys and bad boys becoming reasonable students or even good students, changing completely their habits because a girls picked them up.

The Bucket · #**137** May 16, '12, 5:24 am

Quote:

Originally Posted by ManOnFire

In life, we start out as young people who are constantly battling between good and evil, selfishness and giving, self vs others. I think women admire confident men who know what they want. The problem with the confident bad boys is that these men want what generally boils down to various forms of selfishness. Why? Because it's easy and lazy to want to please the Self. Easy decision. No confusion. Easy execution of the plan. It involves less work. Just seek good times and pleasure. Simple. No confusing morality to interfere or inhibit.

Then, when the bad boy is done with them, he abandons them because their entertainment value has expired. She sought security in his confidence, but ended up getting the opposite result. In some ways, she has been chopped down a notch. The shallowness of liberal society turns more women into sex-and-run victims, and people can't wait to vote for more, despite the anger, confusion, and refusal to acknowledge what caused the problem in the first place.

We need to be gutsy, edgy, deep, unafraid to stand up for what we believe, passionate, and full of heart, soul, and romanticism in a truly giving way, like romantic warriors. But knowing these things, and having the stones to show it, is counter to the prevailing messages of the unelected liberal culture which seeks weak-minded puppets who will just go along with them without questioning or challenging them. You could almost do the opposite of the culture and probably be better off.

As conservative as I am on so many, many levels, I have to at least be intellectually honest and note that society has victimized women in different ways in the past. And victimized men for that matter. It's different today because women become victims even as they are being repeatedly bashed over the head that this is "empowerment." They are not just equal to men, they are the same! Well women and men know on an innate level that we are not the same. We are equal, but far from the same. It is this attempt at achieving sameness that leaves so many in the lurch and the cads who take advantage of knowing the biological truths leave many others feeling used.

The Bucket · #**138** May 16, '12, 5:52 am

By the way.. SCIENCE!

http://www.livescience.com/20294-wom...-bad-boys.html

catholicgamer · #**139** May 16, '12, 7:26 am

Quote:

Originally Posted by The Bucket

By the way.. SCIENCE!

http://www.livescience.com/20294-wom...-bad-boys.html

lol...indeed. Totally agree with that article.

It also verifies the "rationalization hamster" that goes on spinning:

Quote:

Under the hormonal influence of ovulation, women delude themselves into thinking that the sexy bad boys will become devoted partners and better dads," Durante said. "When looking at the sexy cad through ovulation goggles, Mr. Wrong looked exactly like Mr. Right.

Gotta love science when it proves the highschool experience correct.

Heh. Slightly related, I remember reading once that the perfect answer to a 35+ year old single women asking "where are all the nice guys?" is this: "back in your 20's where you left them".

Crescentinus · #**140** May 16, '12, 7:30 am

Quote:

Originally Posted by catholicgamer

Heh. Slightly related, I remember reading once that the perfect answer to a 35+ year old single women asking "where are all the nice guys?" is this: "back in your 20's where you left them".

I have a better answer to that question.
Girl: Where are all the nice guys!?
Me: You threw men like me away so you can be with bad boys.

The Bucket · #**141** May 16, '12, 7:42 am

Actually say that to a woman. You might be surprised at the reaction provided you get by the initial bristling line of defense...

Crescentinus · #**142** May 16, '12, 7:44 am

Quote:

Originally Posted by The Bucket

Actually say that to a woman. You might be surprised at the reaction provided you get by the initial bristling line of defense...

Once I get the chance, I will do it my way.

Oh, what reaction were you expecting in the scenario?

The Bucket · #**143** May 16, '12, 7:47 am

I'd expect her to get defensive at the idea that she threw good men away to chase bad ones. And it would get worse if you tried to explain it all, especially if you did so in a tone that would seem condescending or judgmental.

Best to toss it out there, sidestep the reaction and move on to another topic while leaving her to simply ponder "did I really cast aside good guys all this time? Is he right? Why won't he explain?"

catholicgamer · #**144** May 16, '12, 7:50 am

Quote:

Originally Posted by Crescentinus

I have a better answer to that question.
Girl: Where are all the nice guys!?
Me: You threw men like me away so you can be with bad boys.

Lol....yup.

Here's a nice little tie-in, and this is a theory of mine. Contraception, I think, plays a big roll in this as well. I can imagine that essentially nullifying the chance for pregnancy would amplify the need to go for alpha constantly. Why find a "nice guy" (..beta...) when he's really not needed...you don't need a provider. It's all about sex at that point...so it's all alpha all the time.

Just a thought that bouncing in my brain. Probably needs to be developed more...but I think there is something there.

Crescentinus · #**145** May 16, '12, 7:50 am

Quote:

Originally Posted by The Bucket

I'd expect her to get defensive at the idea that she threw good men away to chase bad ones. And it would get worse if you tried to explain it all, especially if you did so in a tone that would seem condescending or judgmental.

Best to toss it out there, sidestep the reaction and move on to another topic while leaving her to simply ponder "did I really cast aside good guys all this time? Is he right? Why won't he explain?"

Your tactic is a lot better than what I had in mind.

TrixieMcGee · #**146** May 16, '12, 7:52 am

I can ask why do "good boys" go for "bad girls"? I was always a rule follower, modest (in dress and in attitude), didn't cuss, didn't drink, didn't smoke, didn't do drugs, was polite, ect. ect. But the guys from Church and the Christian guys at school never wanted anything to do with me. They all dated the "bad girls" and never paid any attention to me. I didn't start dating at all until College and the only guys who would date me at all were the "bad boys". They broke it off soon enough because I wouldn't have sex with them or fool around even. Then I dated a supposed "nice guy" who was active in Church, held Bible studies at his house, ect. ect. He ended up sexually and verbally abusing me,so I guess he was worse than the "bad boys". Luckily soon after him I met my wonderful husband and a year later we were married.

catholicgamer · #**147** May 16, '12, 7:52 am

Quote:

Originally Posted by The Bucket

I'd expect her to get defensive at the idea that she threw good men away to chase bad ones. And it would get worse if you tried to explain it all, especially if you did so in a tone that would seem condescending or judgmental.

Best to toss it out there, sidestep the reaction and move on to another topic while leaving her to simply ponder "did I really cast aside good guys all this time? Is he right? Why won't he explain?"

I agree...get the hamster spinning then sit back and watch. Move on like nothing happened..."so..how about them Yankees". This...oddly...will attract her to you.

Crescentinus · #**148** May 16, '12, 7:53 am

Quote:

Originally Posted by catholicgamer

Lol....yup.

My answer, is like a battleship firing at the enemy's naval defenses due to the fact that the former has outranged and is now going to outgun the latter.

catholicgamer · #**149** May 16, '12, 7:54 am

Quote:

Originally Posted by TrixieMcGee

I can ask why do "good boys" go for "bad girls"?

Short answer? Because they are sexually available.

Guys aren't that hard to figure out

The Bucket · #**150** May 16, '12, 7:55 am

Quote:

Originally Posted by catholicgamer

Lol....yup.

Here's a nice little tie-in, and this is a theory of mine. Contraception, I think, plays a big roll in this as well. I can imagine that essentially nullifying the chance for pregnancy would amplify the need to go for alpha constantly. Why find a "nice guy" (..beta...) when he's really not needed...you don't need a provider. It's all about sex at that point...so it's all alpha all the time.

Just a thought that bouncing in my brain. Probably needs to be developed more...but I think there is something there.

As much as you think that, it's 100% wrong. As I posted a moment ago, when women are thinking about sex their biology is thinking procreation. Isn't it nifty how the Church is one of the few institutions that recognize that the two are intrinsically linked and can't be separated no matter how much we delude ourselves? Anyway...

Hormonal birth control results in women choosing more provider characteristics. Why? Because they're making rational thoughts about the future instead of paying attention to the screaming hormones that say "REPRODUCE! GET THE BEST GENES! NOW!" Instead they're thoughtfully considering who will provide the best shelter, food, etc. for the offspring and can eschew the best physical genes because they know with those genes comes competition and a lower chance that the man sticks around.

Talk to any woman practicing NFP and ask what her attitude is towards her husband during Phase II versus Phase III. Well I mean don't actually ask her that because it's pretty personal, but I can assure you I know what the responses will be.