No good Godparent choices

Armor of Light · #1 Jun 9, '12, 1:55 am

Hello all-

The title says it all I'm afraid. Our daughter is going to be baptised soon, and we have no good family members or friends to select as Godparents. We take the choice seriously, and currently 2 of my 3 siblings are not good choices, and the 3rd. is already my other daughters Godmother (along with a good friend of ours who is not catholic, but Christian).

My wifes side is not catholic.

We don't have any friends

Not because we are socially inept or un-friendly!

Our parish priest perhaps? He is not young..does that matter?

Could I choose a sibling who I know is good and decent but not practicing the faith? I don't think so...but I have been wrong before.

Anybody else have this problem?

Franklin33 · #2 Jun 9, '12, 3:55 am

Im in the same situation... we have picked someone to be our childs godparent, but we really dont have anyone that we personally know that would be the perfect person for the role. I also like you, dont have any friends... and I am social and friendly, but when God handed out friends, I must have been somewhere else I guess. My wife has facebook friends, but other than that, its just people we know that we say hi to as we see them and thats that. So, yes it is hard finding someone when you have that situation. I dont know though, how proper it would be to ask your priest to fill that role. When you go to confession, you certainly could bring the topic up and ask him what his thoughts are. However, it is custom to have the godparent be catholic.... Will be praying for you.

Aggies08 · #3 Jun 9, '12, 4:20 am

Your priest will have a list of people if you ask he can suggest

lifeandhope · #4 Jun 9, '12, 5:53 am

Quote:

Originally Posted by Franklin33

Im in the same situation... we have picked someone to be our childs godparent, but we really dont have anyone that we personally know that would be the perfect person for the role. I also like you, dont have any friends... and I am social and friendly, but when God handed out friends, I must have been somewhere else I guess. My wife has facebook friends, but other than that, its just people we know that we say hi to as we see them and thats that. So, yes it is hard finding someone when you have that situation. I dont know though, how proper it would be to ask your priest to fill that role. When you go to confession, you certainly could bring the topic up and ask him what his thoughts are. However, it is custom to have the godparent be catholic.... Will be praying for you.

Goodness! We're in the same boat with our daughters. I have friends, but few are Catholic and many of my evangelical friends have been absent since I became Catholic....so it isn't like they'd support our children in the faith! We do happen to be friends with another Catholic couple, so I'm hoping that they are open to the 'position'! I just wish we had someone who was closer to home and more involved in the girls' life. I hope you find someone for your kids.

**1ke** · #5 Jun 9, '12, 6:02 am

It is fine for your sibling to be godparent to both. And you only need one. If you for whatever reason do not want your sibling to be the sponsor again, then ask your priest for a recommendation.

**Phemie** · #6 Jun 9, '12, 6:03 am

Quote:

Originally Posted by Armor of Light

Hello all-

The title says it all I'm afraid. Our daughter is going to be baptised soon, and we have no good family members or friends to select as Godparents. We take the choice seriously, and currently 2 of my 3 siblings are not good choices, and the 3rd. is already my other daughters Godmother (along with a good friend of ours who is not catholic, but Christian).

My wifes side is not catholic.

We don't have any friends

Not because we are socially inept or un-friendly!

Our parish priest perhaps? He is not young..does that matter?

Could I choose a sibling who I know is good and decent but not practicing the faith? I don't think so...but I have been wrong before.

Anybody else have this problem?

Is there any reason that the sibling you've asked for your first child cannot be the godparent for this one?

Some couples ask the same people for all their children.

My friends are their granddaughters' godparents. Their daughter couldn't think of anyone she trusted more to help with raising her daughters in the Faith. Even though they are thousands of miles apart, the grandparents are there for all the important events in those girls' lives and better examples of a faith-filled life you couldn't find anywhere.

mab23 · #7 Jun 9, '12, 6:53 am

I have the SAME problem my 6month old Daughter as no suitable Godparents either

my 3 siblings are non practicing Catholics and wouldn't be suited to guide her in Faith

fermat · #8 Jun 9, '12, 7:07 am

Don't be bound by the notion that you need to be close friends with the godparents. Talk to your priest and have him suggest a good, holy, couple. The purpose of a godparent is to aid you in raising your child in the faith and that can be anyone in your parish.

jilly4ski · #9 Jun 9, '12, 9:04 am

Just picked our Godparents for our youngest (not yet born). Luckily We each have a few siblings that are practicing. We used the married couples for our first 2 and just picked my younger siblings (twins) for this youngest one. But if/when we have any more children we are fully prepared to reuse Godparents. (Unless someone has a major conversion experience or we find some Catholic friends).

benjohnson · #10 Jun 9, '12, 9:14 am

Resist the temptation to have a family member be the godparents if you know they couldn't live up to the obligations to your child and Christ. We made that mistake with our second child and we regret it.

Our third child's godparents are Catholic (we're Lutheran) and we couldn't be more pleased. They have been great for helping us and our child live up to our obligations.

Of course, they're more than welcome to attempt to get our child into the Catholic church - I wouldn't be upset. But, they will have their hands full as the child has a stubborn independant streak

If, at that last hour, you're desperate, I'd recommend looking at a slightly larger scope of people who do their best to walk with christ rather than pick a weak candidate that may have the correct form of Christianity, but wouldn't help your child.

**Phemie** · #11 Jun 9, '12, 11:01 am

Quote:

Originally Posted by benjohnson

If, at that last hour, you're desperate, I'd recommend looking at a slightly larger scope of people who do their best to walk with christ rather than pick a weak candidate that may have the correct form of Christianity, but wouldn't help your child.

He can't look farther afield than 'Catholic'. The godparent/sponsor MUST be a baptized and confirmed Catholic, MUST be living a Catholic faith and MUST NOT be under any interdiction and MUST NOT be the mother or the father. Once they find a proper sponsor/godparent they can include a baptized non-Catholic Christian Witness.

My husband and I will be godmother and Christian Witness to a young couple's first child come September. We were flabbergasted that they chose us but so honoured. The entire family has become our surrogate family over the course of the last 8 years but it never entered our heads that they would pick us for such an important role since I'm 59 and DH is 63. But, God willing, we will be around into that child's adulthood (she'll be 16 1/2 months younger than our only grandchild).

benjohnson · #12 Jun 9, '12, 11:08 am

Quote:

Originally Posted by Phemie

Once they find a proper sponsor/godparent they can include a baptized non-Catholic Christian Witness.

That's wiser advice from a Catholic perspective, and I think it meshes with your law.

My advice was more practical in nature - I'd chose a good and wise Catholic family for my Lutheran children rather than the nominally-Lutheran aunt. I would encourage the OP to expand her circle of Catholic prospects, and not just limit herself to close friends and family.

**jmcrae** · #13 Jun 9, '12, 11:18 am

Quote:

Originally Posted by Armor of Light

Hello all-

The title says it all I'm afraid. Our daughter is going to be baptised soon, and we have no good family members or friends to select as Godparents. We take the choice seriously, and currently 2 of my 3 siblings are not good choices, and the 3rd. is already my other daughters Godmother (along with a good friend of ours who is not catholic, but Christian).

My wifes side is not catholic.

We don't have any friends

Not because we are socially inept or un-friendly!)

What about someone from your Knights of Columbus or CWL? They are required to be good active Catholics when they join, so you would be assured that they are qualified. Since you are active in your parish, they would know you and your family.