On Gods Will and Human Desire

Jimbo9889 · #1 Jun 10, '12, 8:29 pm

The Following Message below was sent to Father Barron's Word on Fire Ministry, however I desire to share it with you and ask of your opinion on the issue enclosed, I need help discerning and understanding better, it is an issue that has arisen and desire to be reconciled once and for all:

Quote:

As a child growing up I felt like as if God was brooding over me any time I sought to do anything, essentially as a child I felt like as if I was paralyzed by a fear of punishment, that anything I sought to do was going to elicit a sense of condemnation against me, psychologically speaking I had an underdeveloped ego if you will because I always dreaded being assertive [a mix between my own sheltered upbringing and feeling like as if that was a sign of rebellion against God]. Eventually as I got older, I kind of "gave up on God" because, in order for me to operate and live life I felt like as if I needed to come out under the brooding presence of God, so that way I might assert my will and develop self-confidence in life.

Even though having now Reverted Back To Catholicism [thanks in no small part to your ministry], I still feel like as if being assertive and having a sense of confidence, having a passion for something, or desiring something would mark me for some type of condemnation. I believe now that I must reconcile my past ignorance and image of God with what I have learned and experienced over the years. At this moment in my life, I have been told by people that "You have a good heart and are humble, but you present that to others as doubting in yourself and second guessing yourself."

Can you speak to this? By that I mean if you would be so kind Father as to speak The Truth in Love regarding Human Desire and God's Will in light of this problem I have explained above. So that way I can firmly say with good reason that I do not have to feel paralyzed by fear of condemnation in life every time I seek to pursue something. I have heard it said that St. Augustine said, "A Lawful Desire is a Lawful Request in Prayer To God." Perhaps you could elucidate on this too for me, as it relates to this issue.

Can Anyone Here Speak To This? I Publicly and Unashamedly wanted this Thread to be Public, in the event that anyone in the future who suffers this may have this conversation as a sort of reference.

Heuchler · #2 Jun 10, '12, 9:42 pm

To address this very simply, it seems the problem should not be over assertiveness, but over pride. One can be as assertive or unassertive in one's actions and it not be a sin. It is when pride enters the mix and we are only being assertive for our own ego and not to get the job done that we enter into sin.

Jimbo9889 · #3 Jun 11, '12, 6:20 am

So would you say then that:

So Are You saying that I am NOT supposed to be caught in this Limbo State of Second Guessing Myself?

That I am supposed to have desires, have a passion for things, have some type of confidence, and that I am supposed to be assertive?

That I am NOT supposed to be weak-willed, docile, and non-responsive toward life and the various situations I go through?

**AlanFromWichita** · #4 Jun 11, '12, 6:28 am

First let's address this word "assertiveness."

I was once found through psychological testing to have passive-agressive tendencies. I would let things go until they got big and then express anger at them, for example.

Assertiveness was the fix. I took private lessons in assertiveness for eight weeks with a psychologist, just my wife and me in his office. "Assertiveness" does NOT mean "aggressiveness," or even imply it; it is simply an "appropriate" response to others' behavior. It is behaving in such a way to try to lessen a problem -- or to avoid creating a new one.

Alan

Heuchler · #5 Jun 11, '12, 12:07 pm

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jimbo9889

So would you say then that:

So Are You saying that I am NOT supposed to be caught in this Limbo State of Second Guessing Myself?

That I am supposed to have desires, have a passion for things, have some type of confidence, and that I am supposed to be assertive?

That I am NOT supposed to be weak-willed, docile, and non-responsive toward life and the various situations I go through?

You should not second guess yourseelf, you have either done a sinful thing or not. You should assess that and not wory of how agressive you were. Passion is a good thing, but my suggestion should be to not foce it. Be yourself and do not wory if you are docile or not. Your passion should not be forced, but your life should be filled with compassion. Work for things you care about in your own way. If that is with a very assertive nature, wonderful. If that is with a docile and humble form, wonderful. Just make sure to not second-guess yourself. Assertiveness is not inherently wrong and docility is not inherently wrong. Just do what is natural and do not worry about docility.