Boyfriend and mental illness

[catharina]

Originally Posted by TheRealJuliane

While you are dating him, take it for granted that this is who he is, now and forever. Can you live with him AS HE IS NOW? Do not assume that he will get over his wounds without therapy. Will he ever get therapy? Even if he does, will it help him? These are things that you cannot take for granted. No one is perfect but I believe that you need to accept the person as he currently stands, assuming nothing will change. Of course in reality, people do change and grow over time, but this is not a project to undertake and you should never assume that the person you see will become the person you wish he was or you think he could be, if he worked on it hard enough.

He is already expressing anxiety about marriage, even when no marriage is in the near future. I would be very, very cautious about making a commitment to this man. IMO, he is not ready for the emotional intimacy of a marriage, nor does he seem to have the personal confidence to be the leader of his home.

Wonderful response.
You're terrifc, Juliane