Opinions, please; a christening really isn't just an excuse for a party!

Mormon_Cultist · #1 Jun 26, '12, 12:22 am

I just wondered what people who perhaps understand at least one element of this better then I do, think about my situation.
I work for a small local business as one of their Managers. The other two managers are the daughter of one of the owners, and her husband. The owners are also a married couple. As far as I am aware (and as far as I can see from their habits etc.) they have no religious affiliations, they certainly never attend any church services as the restaurant is open all day just the same as every other. That said, they took me on and accepted that I would have every Sunday off to attend my services. From speaking with the lady owner's son, I gather he was brought up (to at least some degree) Catholic.
Looking through the forthcoming diary entries (staff holidays, table bookings etc.) I notice one Sunday where all four of them have been written in for a day off, and despie it being only next month, they haven't bothered to approach me about it, as the only other manager who could take charge. It's written in as a family christening.
My concern is that I can see them asking me to work it for them (difficult given my own church commitments), and trying to put on me that I ought to understand, being religious myself that the christening is important. But is it? (I don't mean that as a general question, I understand it is seen as extremely important: I mean how important is it really [i]to them?[/I)] To me it seems rather disrespectful that they have no interest in religion, until it gives them a reason for a party, and probably to get quite drunk. And I'm afraid that I have little respect for that position.

andremiguel · #2 Jun 26, '12, 2:36 am

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mormon_Cultist

I just wondered what people who perhaps understand at least one element of this better then I do, think about my situation.
I work for a small local business as one of their Managers. The other two managers are the daughter of one of the owners, and her husband. The owners are also a married couple. As far as I am aware (and as far as I can see from their habits etc.) they have no religious affiliations, they certainly never attend any church services as the restaurant is open all day just the same as every other. That said, they took me on and accepted that I would have every Sunday off to attend my services. From speaking with the lady owner's son, I gather he was brought up (to at least some degree) Catholic.
Looking through the forthcoming diary entries (staff holidays, table bookings etc.) I notice one Sunday where all four of them have been written in for a day off, and despie it being only next month, they haven't bothered to approach me about it, as the only other manager who could take charge. It's written in as a family christening.
My concern is that I can see them asking me to work it for them (difficult given my own church commitments), and trying to put on me that I ought to understand, being religious myself that the christening is important. But is it? (I don't mean that as a general question, I understand it is seen as extremely important: I mean how important is it really [i]to them?[/I)] To me it seems rather disrespectful that they have no interest in religion, until it gives them a reason for a party, and probably to get quite drunk. And I'm afraid that I have little respect for that position.

Just a thought: better a party with "christening" then without: just a thought!

**Holly3278** · #3 Jun 26, '12, 4:42 am

How do you know that they have no interest in religion? How do you know that they aren't attending Mass on Saturday evenings when they are off or some other time when they have the time available to do so? Also, if they are still Catholic then it is likely a baptism and that is very very important for Catholics as it marks out entrance into the Church.

PatriceA · #4 Jun 26, '12, 5:24 am

How do you know they are planning to party? Its written on the calendar as a "family christening", correct? Why would you assume attending a family event isn't the part that is important to them? I have a few family members that aren't Catholic but I still invited them and expected them to attend my daughter's baptism and first communion because we're family and it wasn't an excuse to party. I know those two occasions were important to my non-Catholic family members because they love us, not because we share the same religious views, if any.

Mormon_Cultist · #5 Jun 26, '12, 5:25 am

I'm very certain they don't attend: they live in part of the same building as the restaurant: and the only exit is through the customer doors. They always say where they're going anytime they do leave (just in case we need to call them back to help) and its invariably either shopping or to the daughter & son-in-law's house. Theyre both serial divorcees, and lived together for quite some time before finally getting married and make no secret of it. They're very comfortable with strong language and vulgar jokes.
So while it's not impossible they still could be Catholic, I would find it difficult to believe they were at all sincere. Also, the number of questions they point at me about religious traditions (usually ones I know little about because we don't generally observe them) indicates they know rather little about it.

Mormon_Cultist · #6 Jun 26, '12, 5:29 am

Quote:

Originally Posted by PatriceA

How do you know they are planning to party? Its written on the calendar as a "family christening", correct? Why would you assume attending a family event isn't the part that is important to them? I have a few family members that aren't Catholic but I still invited them and expected them to attend my daughter's baptism and first communion because we're family and it wasn't an excuse to party. I know those two occasions were important to my non-Catholic family members because they love us, not because we share the same religious views, if any.

The christening in question is the son of the other two managers who I could des fine in exactly the same terms as the owners, and be pretty sure of their disinterest for the same reasons.
I absolutely respect the belief that this is something important, but only to people who actually show some reason to believe it is.

aicirt · #7 Jun 26, '12, 5:37 am

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mormon_Cultist

I just wondered what people who perhaps understand at least one element of this better then I do, think about my situation.
I work for a small local business as one of their Managers. The other two managers are the daughter of one of the owners, and her husband. The owners are also a married couple. As far as I am aware (and as far as I can see from their habits etc.) they have no religious affiliations, they certainly never attend any church services as the restaurant is open all day just the same as every other. That said, they took me on and accepted that I would have every Sunday off to attend my services. From speaking with the lady owner's son, I gather he was brought up (to at least some degree) Catholic.
Looking through the forthcoming diary entries (staff holidays, table bookings etc.) I notice one Sunday where all four of them have been written in for a day off, and despie it being only next month, they haven't bothered to approach me about it, as the only other manager who could take charge. It's written in as a family christening.
My concern is that I can see them asking me to work it for them (difficult given my own church commitments), and trying to put on me that I ought to understand, being religious myself that the christening is important. But is it? (I don't mean that as a general question, I understand it is seen as extremely important: I mean how important is it really [i]to them?[/I)] To me it seems rather disrespectful that they have no interest in religion, until it gives them a reason for a party, and probably to get quite drunk. And I'm afraid that I have little respect for that position.

First, you are assuming they'll ask you to work on that Sunday. You might be correct in that assumption. Do you spend the whole day in church? If it is totally against your beliefs to work on Sunday, then you need to tell them that. If it isn't, are you able to give up any part of the day or the whole day to help them out. (Also consider if you were not working in this restaurant, is there any other which would give you Sundays off all the time?)

Second, you are assuming they'll get quite drunk.....and you have little respect for that position. Try and respect the people who provide you with a job. If alcohol intake is a daily problem with them, ( you must be basing your assumption on something), maybe you should not be working for them. Are you allowed to work in an establishment that serves liquor? Does the restaurant serve liquor? Unless you are invited, how will this effect you?

Third, you ask if the christening important to them. Maybe the question should be "Don't you think they're hypocrites?" because you know the baptizing is important but, since they don't seem to practice any other time, they're only going through the motions to party.

I think you could say same about anyone in any religion be it LDS or Catholics. We all might raise an eyebrow at some of the behaviors in all religions.

Mary Gail 36 · #8 Jun 26, '12, 6:27 am

Quote:

Originally Posted by aicirt

First, you are assuming they'll ask you to work on that Sunday. You might be correct in that assumption. Do you spend the whole day in church? If it is totally against your beliefs to work on Sunday, then you need to tell them that. If it isn't, are you able to give up any part of the day or the whole day to help them out. (Also consider if you were not working in this restaurant, is there any other which would give you Sundays off all the time?)

Second, you are assuming they'll get quite drunk.....and you have little respect for that position. Try and respect the people who provide you with a job. If alcohol intake is a daily problem with them, ( you must be basing your assumption on something), maybe you should not be working for them. Are you allowed to work in an establishment that serves liquor? Does the restaurant serve liquor? Unless you are invited, how will this effect you?

Third, you ask if the christening important to them. Maybe the question should be "Don't you think they're hypocrites?" because you know the baptizing is important but, since they don't seem to practice any other time, they're only going through the motions to party.

I think you could say same about anyone in any religion be it LDS or Catholics. We all might raise an eyebrow at some of the behaviors in all religions.

I'm not comfortable with that question.

I think the OP is upset that he might need to work, and was not asked prior "Do you mind working? We'll be taking off that day." That is a legitimate concern.

Speculating on the family in question's practice or non practice of faith to me seems like a non legitmate question.

What this family does, and how they practice or don't practice their religion really isn't our business.

Z_Ninja · #9 Jun 26, '12, 6:32 am

I agree that there are quite a bit of assumptions and judgement being made. Perhaps they may be non-practicing for whatever reason. but if a family member is being baptized, that is a huge deal, whether they are practicing or not. IMO, it appears important enough to have the Christening/Baptism done. Whatever they have going on in their religious life is not for us to judge or justify our own actions and is something that is between them and God. Like aicirt said, they may be hypocrites, maybe not, we do not know what the intent is in their hearts.

Mormon_Cultist · #10 Jun 26, '12, 6:59 am

Yes, I'm concerned that that might try to approach me to work, at this stage it'll be pretty short notice. That's a concern, and I can deal with that.
Really I wanted to address the broader issue that affects all religions about lurkers, tourists and hypocrites. I didn't want to get so specific about anyone imparticular really.
It concerns me when people want to take something religious just as an excuse for their own fun & pleasure.

**Joe 5859** · #11 Jun 26, '12, 8:08 am

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mormon_Cultist

Yes, I'm concerned that that might try to approach me to work, at this stage it'll be pretty short notice. That's a concern, and I can deal with that.
Really I wanted to address the broader issue that affects all religions about lurkers, tourists and hypocrites. I didn't want to get so specific about anyone imparticular really.
It concerns me when people want to take something religious just as an excuse for their own fun & pleasure.

I agree it is concerning and very sad to see, but we seldom have control over the way people choose to abuse their religion. For the most part, all we can do is try to counteract those negative examples with our own positive one by living out our faith authentically.