Virtue most vital for a happy marriage?

[mommamaree]

Originally Posted by thewanderer

So I've been following this thread and I think I have finally decided which virtue is most important. For a while I was torn between honesty and loyalty, and I even almost posted to agree with BEL on Loyalty being the number 1 virtue. But tonight I have come to realize that without a doubt it is something even deeper than loyalty. It is 110% Commitment. And I am talking complete, unchangeable, unconditional Commitment.

I think its often hard to realize what this kind of commitment looks like, or what it really means, but I have been very lucky to have had the most wonderful example in my mother. When she said her marriage vows she truly meant them to be unconditional. She did not have a happy marriage. My father emotionally abused her for most of the time that they were together, he became an alcoholic and yelled at her even sometimes pushed her around and even threatened her. Eventually he cheated on her while she was still pregnant with my youngest sister. I have a vivid memory of one time when he came with his woman to pick us children up and when my mother came out to the car to try and stop us he just drove away even though she had been holding on to the door. It was soon after this that my mother realized that it was too unhealthy an atmosphere to raise us children in and we moved far, far away. Despite all of this, my mother remained committed to my father. She never tried to go out and find another man to fill his place, in fact, I distinctly remember her reaction to a man showing vague signs of interest in her. She was a married woman, she was not free. She never spoke angrily or bitterly about him to us children. She did not try to turn us against him. Instead she had us pray for him every night as we said our evening prayers that he would return to God. This, my friends is what real commitment looks like. This is the kind of commitment that every person owes their spouse every day of their life. And this is by far the most important virtue for the success of a marriage. The complete and utter unconditional commitment to ones spouse.

What a beautiful witness. Thank you for sharing her story.