Living Together before Marriage in advice column

MissRose73 · #1 Jun 10, '12, 4:38 am

In today's Dear Abby Column (dated 6/10/2012), Abby is advising a couple to confess to their priest the reasons why they are living together before marriage. I have no idea what religion Abby is, but many of her readers' responses in the column posted on yahoo.com vary as well with many of them stating things like the priest doesn't need to know, or seek out another priest that won't have an issue with the arrangement. I am sure some of the responders are non Catholics or even Catholics that just accept certain things even if they are not morally right.

I've read on a few churches' websites in their sections about matrimony preparation that any couple living together, the priest will NOT marry them and if they want a church wedding they have to prove separate living arrangements among other things before they can begin preparation.

I know of many family members and friends who lived with their spouses before marriage. Some of them are still together, others are not. Some of them are Catholics (some practice faith, others don't), and if they told the priest if they were married in the church about their living arrangements, I have no idea & its not my business to ask them if they discussed their arrangements with the officiant ahead of time.

Crescentinus · #2 Jun 10, '12, 5:25 am

I tend to avoid those columns, along with dating sims altogether.

epan · #3 Jun 10, '12, 7:38 am

Quote:

Originally Posted by MissRose73

In today's Dear Abby Column (dated 6/10/2012), Abby is advising a couple to confess to their priest the reasons why they are living together before marriage. I have no idea what religion Abby is, but many of her readers' responses in the column posted on yahoo.com vary as well with many of them stating things like the priest doesn't need to know, or seek out another priest that won't have an issue with the arrangement. I am sure some of the responders are non Catholics or even Catholics that just accept certain things even if they are not morally right.

I've read on a few churches' websites in their sections about matrimony preparation that any couple living together, the priest will NOT marry them and if they want a church wedding they have to prove separate living arrangements among other things before they can begin preparation.

I know of many family members and friends who lived with their spouses before marriage. Some of them are still together, others are not. Some of them are Catholics (some practice faith, others don't), and if they told the priest if they were married in the church about their living arrangements, I have no idea & its not my business to ask them if they discussed their arrangements with the officiant ahead of time.

Call me nuts, but a more charitable approach would be to marry those who are in sin. That way, they get out of the sinful condition. Is this too logical for the Church to accept?

Fone Bone 2001 · #4 Jun 10, '12, 8:10 am

Quote:

Originally Posted by epan

Call me nuts, but a more charitable approach would be to marry those who are in sin. That way, they get out of the sinful condition. Is this too logical for the Church to accept?

No, it's not. In fact, that is the Catholic Church's policy.

I've read that there are certain limitations placed on the wedding of a cohabiting couple, but on no occasion will a priest faithful to the standards of the Church flat-out refuse to witness the marriage of such a couple.

I saw a Q&A video once of an event with Cardinal Arinze, the Prefect Emeritus of the Congregation for Divine Worship, and he said in no uncertain terms that the Church would seek to do all in her power to get such a couple into the Married state.