Is it wrong not to have children?

[Mintaka]

As long as a married couple is using NFP and are okay with whatever potential kids Providence might send them, there's no obligation to try for children or to just go at it without NFP. There used to be a good number of couples who would marry with the determination not even to have sex, much less have children.

For example, the Blessed Martins, St. Therese's parents. They got married at a fairly advanced age for the day, and were married a couple of years in a celibate way before God let them know that He wanted them to consummate the marriage and have several kids.

If you're worried that you're not playing fair with God, or contrariwise, if you think God wants you two to try for kids, then sure, you two should pray about it.

But God isn't going to put a gun to your head and force you to have sex on fertile days. It's not a sin to not have sex, particularly if you two are in agreement as to the days you have a headache.

St. John Chrysostom says that the unitive aspect of sex is inherently procreative, because by coming together in one flesh, the two become one human being, one "new" image and likeness of God.

St. John Chrysostom on Theology of the Body, Part 1. Part 2.

Married couples without kids can also be "parents" by creating things or by helping people.

[Vico]

In Spanish, a name for the spouse is: mi media naranja which means my half-orange.


Gen 1:27 And God created man to his own image: to the image of God he created him: male and female he created them.

Gen 2:22-24: And the Lord God built the rib which he took from Adam into a woman: and brought her to Adam. And Adam said: This now is bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called woman, because she was taken out of man. Wherefore a man shall leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they shall be two in one flesh.

[lifeisbeautiful]

Originally Posted by Mintaka

As long as a married couple is using NFP and are okay with whatever potential kids Providence might send them, there's no obligation to try for children or to just go at it without NFP.

This is not really correct (if by using NFP you mean avoiding).

See below (from Pope Pius XII Allocution to midwives, October 29, 1951.)

The mere fact that husband and wife do not offend the nature of the act and are even ready to accept and bring up the child, who, notwithstanding their precautions, might be born, would not be itself sufficient to guarantee the rectitude of their intention and the unobjectionable morality of their motives.

[alphawoman]

There are so many moving variables in having children. While the Church's position is certainly pro-life in the procreative sense, every couple faces its own opportunity set. Surely, some people are called to achieve great moral feats for humankind (e.g. state leadership, charity, business, intelligence, etc) that are incompatible with family life.

The best advice I can offer is to pray a rosary with your wife daily asking that God's will be done. He won't ever let you down with this request if it's made sincerely!!

God bless