Questions for all the Mom's... what's it like to give birth?

[dranzal]

I've had 7 babies.

1. "emergency" C-section in military hospital at 41 weeks after induction. This is not the best of circumstances for a first timer. Induction takes forever anyway, especially for first timers. You end up too exhausted to care for your first baby. Still, sometimes happens.

2, 3, 4. Hospital inductions at 41 weeks followed by vaginal birth. This is much better than a C-section for recovery. However, induction drugs are so hard that I had an epidural for each, rendering me leg-less for several hours after.

5. Completely natural birth-center birth. This was my first experience of real BIRTH. The sensations totally fascinated me, especially the urge to push.

6, 7. HOME BIRTH! YEAH! The first was unassisted (unintentionally) because the midwife was stuck in school traffic. The second was attended by a wonderful OB. I thought it'd be great for such a good OB to attend a home birth--if only to say she had.


Those are the stats. Question was, what's it like to give birth.

In my as-objective-as-possible opinion, having experienced several, I can say that giving birth in a hospital setting is very different from a home setting.

The first difference is ambiance. Hospitals are inherently clinical. The sights, sounds, and smells all inform your senses that you are in a foreign land. What do we do in foreign lands? We submit to the local authorities....even when our own instincts tell us otherwise.

Which brings me to the second difference. Control. In a home birth, the mother holds the reins. This makes sense since she is the one feeling every contraction, every pain. It isn't so much that "control" is important. Since the "authorities" are not present to "manage" and "medicate" the birth, the mother naturally listens to her body more closely. In the hospital, she is often directed to ignore her body's cues, and eventually to silence them with an epidural.

Third difference is interventions. Are they sometimes necessary? Definitely. However, unnecessary ones interrupt the mother's concentration.

Fourth is treatment of new baby. This was a big one for me. We watched the various baby shows on tv all the time. It always pained me to watch them rub the baby down like a lump of flesh rather than a new baby. My non-hospital births have all been quite different from that. My babies have been placed on me and covered in warm towels while the cord finishes pulsing. Two of them didn't even cry out, the birth was so calm. They were pink anyway. Babies don't have to cry to breathe. They just cuddled up on mama's chest, experiencing life outside the womb for the first time...no lights, no beeping, no prodding. The midwives were surprised and pleased. After a minute or two, I would shift the position and begin breastfeeding.

Why did I give all this detail? Because how you ultimately give birth will have a profound effect on what it is like to give birth. The answer varies. Some of my births felt like professionals "fixing" my "pathology". This doesn't easily switch gears to bonding. The others were all amazing. I felt like a mother doing what mothers have been doing for thousands of years. I never felt more alive than when I was bringing forth new life. It is the ultimate participation in creation and life. It is wonderful.

http://handmadeforheaven.blogspot.com/

[Augusta Sans]

Originally Posted by dranzal

Fourth is treatment of new baby. This was a big one for me. We watched the various baby shows on tv all the time. It always pained me to watch them rub the baby down like a lump of flesh rather than a new baby. My non-hospital births have all been quite different from that. My babies have been placed on me and covered in warm towels while the cord finishes pulsing. Two of them didn't even cry out, the birth was so calm. They were pink anyway. Babies don't have to cry to breathe. They just cuddled up on mama's chest, experiencing life outside the womb for the first time...no lights, no beeping, no prodding. The midwives were surprised and pleased. After a minute or two, I would shift the position and begin breastfeeding.

Your hospital births were most likely 10+ years ago, so it's probably worth mentioning that my baby's treatment in a hospital birth (attended by a midwife) was similar to your homebirth experience. After the midwife caught my son, I whipped off my nightgown and she placed him on my chest and allowed the cord to finish pulsing before clamping and allowing my husband to cut. The lights were dimmed, there were no machines or sounds. I don't know how long I held him before I asked a passing nurse to weigh and measure him---I was curious how big he was. It was amazing and beautiful and it happened in a hospital room. I think its more about the attitude of everyone in the room (mother, father, midwife, attending nurses) than the venue.

[dranzal]

My last hospital birth was in late 2003. After my birth center delivery in 06, the law changed and it is now unlawful for me to give birth at the birth center as a VBAC. Because of that, I had to seek an OB again. The OB I saw first in 08, when asked if they would allow the cord to finish pulsing (in the context of establishing a birth plan) looked puzzled and asked, "Does it do that?"

You are absolutely right. It is possible to have a great birth in a hospital. It definitely has much to do with the world-view, birthing wise, of the attendees.

To that end, it is a good idea, even if you are having your first, to locate an ICAN support group in your area and ask them who they birth with. This group is to support women who want to VBAC. They'll likely have a great deal of knowledge as well as some good recommendations for docs who rely less on intervention (since there is some correlation between increased intervention and C-sec rate).

[Serap]

Originally Posted by dranzal

My last hospital birth was in late 2003. After my birth center delivery in 06, the law changed and it is now unlawful for me to give birth at the birth center as a VBAC. Because of that, I had to seek an OB again. The OB I saw first in 08, when asked if they would allow the cord to finish pulsing (in the context of establishing a birth plan) looked puzzled and asked, "Does it do that?"

You are absolutely right. It is possible to have a great birth in a hospital. It definitely has much to do with the world-view, birthing wise, of the attendees.

To that end, it is a good idea, even if you are having your first, to locate an ICAN support group in your area and ask them who they birth with. This group is to support women who want to VBAC. They'll likely have a great deal of knowledge as well as some good recommendations for docs who rely less on intervention (since there is some correlation between increased intervention and C-sec rate).

Hey honey...your signature brings tears to my eyes...God Bless you during your tragedy.

I had a VBAC in a hospital here in Canada and it was an amazing experience. I hired a doula to be with me and everything went perfectly...the lights were low and it was so calm. I pushed for 2 hours and 20 minutes and when he came out, they put him on my chest and he breastfed. They cut the cord while he was breastfeeding.

It was amazing!!!!!

[SusanneT]

I don't think many women would say that the process is exactly pleasant but the pain etc is very soon forgotten.

What amazed me was as soon as it was over I felt I wanted to do it again !