reluctant to serve God

[john78]

I was just doing a random search on Saints who were reluctant to serve God,

I had a slight clue as to why I was searching and figured there was something in scripture that may be exactly how i wanted to describe why I fear a vocation.

This article I found explains my fear more articulately than I was able to put into words. And am thankful there are others through out history who have had the same fear.

And why in a way as beautiful of a life for a vocation as a Priest or Brother there is also great responsibility.

http://thoughts-about-god.com/blog/2...ctant-leaders/

which is why i have a heavy heart i guess in regards to a vocation on one hand I see myself in such a life as a priest or brother but on the other what this blog states is what I understood all along in my heart but wasnt quite able to articulate.

so again i guess this falls under having to honestly Trust God.

That if I make a step towards a vocation I would be doing so in that Trust that I would not inadvertently make a mistake or sin that would impact many on a negative level.

I dont view this as being humble, but rather truely afraid.

I hope I can get over it if the time calls to do so.

[kevinerose]

You should not be afraid of doing the work of God. We are all supposed to be about the Father's business. We should be more afraid of not doing enough for God. Being afraid of being a church leader is good though because you realize the impact you will have. Do not be worried about the bible verses that indicate your resposibility to others. That is there for those having evil desires for using the leadership position or to those who may be lazy about their duties. As long as you have the desire for God and work hard to understand, then you will do well. If you do these things and people still fall away from the faith then that is not your fault. Every person ultimately is responsible for themselves. And don't forget too that Peter and the apostles were very strict and demanding of the converts. As a leader, you want to challenge the people to do better and help them understand how faith is worked out in their daily lives.
It is like the eucharist. Before taking the eucharist you must contemplate your heart and confessed. As a priest or other church leader you must continually contemplate your heart in order to do good by God and for the people. If you partake of the eucharist unworthily then you risk eternal punishment. Likewise with being a leader in the church, if you do so with improper intentions then you may be unwise in your actions.

[Julia Mae]

Originally Posted by john78

That if I make a step towards a vocation I would be doing so in that Trust that I would not inadvertently make a mistake or sin that would impact many on a negative level.

You probably can't do worse than St Paul did.

It's a process, not an event.

[asia53]

Originally Posted by john78

That if I make a step towards a vocation I would be doing so in that Trust that I would not inadvertently make a mistake or sin that would impact many on a negative level.

You might inadvertently inspire a young person by your example, or inadvertently lighten an elderly person's heart who is lonely,---I could go on, but I think, you get the idea.

The "what if" is a very hard game to play. You never run out of "what ifs".

[john78]

Ty for the replies, it has put some perspective on the issue of being afraid in the sense that I feel it.