My Grandpa called me a hypocrite and a liar unjustly - Page 2

**Holly3278** · #16 Jun 22, '12, 10:22 am

Hi everyone. Thanks for the replies. One of you said that I am sinning by lying of omission or something. I don't see how that is lying by not mentioning to him what I am spending the money on. If he isn't asking what I spend the money on then I shouldn't have to tell him. That said, I am going to quit getting money off of him for cigarettes. I'll probably quit getting money off of him period because he seems to think that I only get money off of him for cigarettes and for nothing else. That's one reason why he called me a liar. He thinks I am lying about what I spend the money on but I never lie about that unless you are right that by not telling him I am lying and you might be right. I really don't know.

That said, I do intend to quit very soon, preferably after this pack is empty. I know I need to quit for my own health and if I do quit then maybe I'll be a better witness to my Grandpa.

Anyway, I am still very depressed. I am crying sometimes because I don't feel like I have done anything wrong and some of you think I have and so does my Grandpa. Maybe I did do something wrong. If I did then I repent of it. However, I don't understand what I did wrong, if anything.

**Holly3278** · #17 Jun 22, '12, 10:29 am

I have decided that I am going to talk to my spiritual director about this. I will let you know what he says when I get a hold of him.

anruari · #18 Jun 22, '12, 10:43 am

on the Sinfullness of smoking:

From the Catechism (CCC 2290):

"The virtue of temperance disposes us to avoid every kind of excess: the abuse of food, alcohol, tobacco, or medicine."

Tobacco is strongly addictive, especially in the form of Cigarettes - with 20 - 40 a day being a common habit.
Quitting smoking can be particularly difficult due to the strength of the addiction.
It is now known to be seriously harmful to the health of the smoker and anyone else who inhales the smoke in the room.

I would see the situation as the following:

*the commandment "Thou shalt not kill" was first given to Adam, and was repeated to Noah, Moses, Isaiah, many of the other prophets, and finally by Jesus and repeated by the Apostles.
*Regular use of tobacco kills.
*Using Tobacco near other people harms them
*you know this.

therefore it is a sin against the commandment not to kill. To Love thy Neighbour and to Love yourself. As your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, it is a sin against the Temple of the Holy Spirit.

Allowing yourself to become addicted to tobacco places you into the service of 2 masters. God and your Addiction. Christ died to free you from slavery... yet you have placed yourself into slavery to the tobacco companies.

This is a classic example of Slavery to Sin... due to addiction you cease to have voluntarily control over the choice to smoke - your addiction makes that choice for you.

Smoking more than you can afford yourself is a sin against temperance and moderation in an extreme manner - you are left begging from friends and family to feed a habit for something which is not only unnecessary for your wellbeing, but is damaging to your physical and spiritual health.

The level of guilt due to smoking that one cigarette because you are stressed out by reading this my be significantly mitigated by the effects of the addiction.... but you are morally obliged to repent from this sin. Want to Quit. Choose to quit. Then make that choice stick.

When you are ready you need to go and get yourself a nicotine patch or inhalator or similar... talk to your doctor if you can (in the UK you can, in the US that might be insurance dependant). You may be able to get help with the cost of the nicotine replacement treatments.
Go to confession. make a commitment with a regular confessor, and spiritual director or a 12-step style sponsor to regularly check in regarding your progress.

Get free of this sin. - it is quite literally killing you. one puff at a time.

Kenny Kamel · #19 Jun 22, '12, 11:15 am

Quote:

Originally Posted by Holly3278

That said, I do intend to quit very soon, preferably after this pack is empty.

I smoked for years (in fact my username "Kenny Kamel" has something to do with smoking) and told myself that time and time again. The last pack of cigarettes I had, well instead of telling myself I would finish the pack off and then quit... well I decided to pour hot coffee directly into the open pack because I didn't want to kid myself and keep the temptation around me any longer.

Do yourself a favor and dispose of the smokes you have left in a way you'll remember, eliminate that which tempts you and will leave you with excuses to continue defiling yourself and your body.

DeniseNY · #20 Jun 22, '12, 5:16 pm

Quote:

Originally Posted by Holly3278

I have decided that I am going to talk to my spiritual director about this. I will let you know what he says when I get a hold of him.

Very good idea. Again, I'm so sorry you're hurting. I pray this situation has a positive outcome.

Et Cetera · #21 Jun 22, '12, 7:43 pm

I am sorry that you're upset and that you've been crying over this, but I have to agree with others here in that I can see why a grandfather would be upset that an adult is asking him for cigarette money. He probably recently found out what you're using the money for, and that's most likely why he became upset with you. He probably thought that you were using the money for something a little better. Really though, you should talk to your grandfather. Tell him that he hurt your feelings and that you love him and would like to speak with him. You have said that you will be starting the quitting process soon. I think your grandfather would be happy to know that. Maybe if you tell him, it will be a good way to lead into a conversation.