Re: Fr. Serpa's Answer in Quick Questions: Can Devil Mindread?
I agree, in the case of a failed parent, a simple change of will isn't so easy. There is this saying that forgiveness is a gift you give yourself; if only it were so easy to give myself that gift! It's been four years since my father died and I still hate him, and I have serious doubts as to whether or not forgiveness will ever come. I agree that in some of the more extreme cases, the road is longer, rockier and far more difficult. It could take not only prayer, but a lot of psychotherapy to let go, in the more grave and extreme situations.
And my hatred of him is eating away at my own life and progress. People standing around me could sense that I was really angry all the time. For a while, I coped by binge-eating and gained a ton of weight. I lost all the excess weight but sometimes when I'm still really stirred up about it, I still could empty a big carton of ice cream and it sends me into a really p.o.'d mood for days. I really would be doing myself a favour if I forgot the wrongs, but unfortunately it doesn't seem to me that just willing to do forgive will get me to forgive, especially as I still suffer from the ramifications of what got me angry in the first place. I think it's hard to understand unless if one has been in the situation oneself.