Do you pray with your spouse?

Nelka · #1 Jun 22, '12, 1:54 am

Apart from going to Mass, my wife and I have never prayed together.

It must be nice, even once a week or once a month to pray the Rosary together or just an Our Father.

If I mentioned the idea (it would be lovely if we prayed as a family when the twins are old enough) she would turn her nose up at it, not in a horrible way but just not interested.

Should I pray a Novena that one day we can all pray together?

I feel that if the children don't see us praying together they won't pray with me/us when they get older.

Thanks.

Gordon Sims · #2 Jun 22, '12, 2:25 am

I pray the Rosary with my family daily. Like you, before I started I figured it was something at which my wife would turn up her nose. Instead of asking her, I told her and the kids one night that we're Catholic and there's no good reason for us not to do it. I offered to listen in case anyone really had a good reason but nobody could come up with one. She's still not completely on board with it--she's not very inclined to say it with the kids on nights when I'm away or working--but she never objects when I tell everyone to grab a rosary.

TheRealJuliane · #3 Jun 22, '12, 5:42 am

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nelka

Apart from going to Mass, my wife and I have never prayed together.

It must be nice, even once a week or once a month to pray the Rosary together or just an Our Father.

If I mentioned the idea (it would be lovely if we prayed as a family when the twins are old enough) she would turn her nose up at it, not in a horrible way but just not interested.

Should I pray a Novena that one day we can all pray together?

I feel that if the children don't see us praying together they won't pray with me/us when they get older.

Thanks.

Do it whether or not she joins in. Do it for your children. You are the leader of your home, just start praying the rosary with your children, a decade a night, or more, and never mention that Mommy isn't there. Just pray anyway. It is not a choice, it is your obligation.

Schieffelin · #4 Jun 22, '12, 5:54 am

I love praying with my husband--it always gives me the warm-fuzzies

Just try to start small so it doesn't feel like an imposition at all. We were lucky that an older couple we met on our honeymoon asked us to pray a rosary with them and their family, and I think that set the stage. Now we sometimes pray a novena for a special intention, sometimes we just say whatever comes to mind, or read scripture, sometimes just a Hail Mary. We don't do it every night like I would like to, but I'd say we average a couple times a week.

Ask your wife if she has anything on her mind that she'd like to pray for. I know my husband really appreciated me initiating a novena last year when he was looking for a job. Good luck!

The Bucket · #5 Jun 22, '12, 6:01 am

I agree with Schieffelin; make it easy at first. We've always done an Our Father, Hail Mary and Glory Be with the kids right before bed. Takes like 90 seconds. We pray a decade as a couple before we go to bed (that's fallen by the wayside from time to time but back on the upswing again). Also not a huge deal.

I think a rosary can be ostentatious when you're trying to introduce this but prayers that take one to five minutes a night? Long enough to remember to do but short enough that it's not a "burden" when you're dead tired.

Abrigham · #6 Jun 22, '12, 6:36 am

My husband and I don't regularly pray together, except at meals, but we do on occassion. We prayed together and asked to be blessed with another child a few days ago. Hopefully God will answer that one soon.

to start I would make it simple, right before bed. We hold hands and pray for a minute or less. If your wife doesn't want to, ask her why not? Say it would mean a lot to you and explain your reasoning regarding your children and any other reasons you have. Don't fight about it, though. Prayer shouldn't be a source of tension.

cradlecatholic5 · #7 Jun 22, '12, 6:39 am

My husband and I pray together in the morning. Oh, there are times we get busy, rushing and forget ... and on those days I sure miss it.

Last evening, my 9 yr old grandson sat w/ me while I prayed the rosary along w/ Mother Angelica on EWTN. He asked lots of questions, so the rosary praying got interrupted, but it was great that he had so many questions about the Sisters. We had a 101 on Sisterhood.

mandajane · #8 Jun 22, '12, 8:27 am

Starting to pray with my FH was very awkward. Since I grew up in a family that didn't support my faith, I naturally learned to be very quiet and insular about it. When someone recommended to me that I start praying with my (at the time) boyfriend, I about choked on my drink. I got advice from my priest, and what he said was just to "pray openly in front of him, and attend mass together". So, I started praying my rosary when he came to visit me, and after I got used to just praying in front of him, I asked if he wanted to join me.

That's when I learned his mother had used praying the rosary as a punishment.

Because that's a great idea.

Eventually, however, he would sit with me while I prayed, then hold one of my hands while I prayed, and then one day he started joining in. It was definitely a hard process to start, and I prayed about it a lot (praying about praying. Who knew?) but with a lot of faith and a lot of love we got through it. Now we pray a rosary together before he goes home at night, and one before mass on Sundays.

cradlecatholic5 · #9 Jun 22, '12, 9:06 am

When I met my husband, (in his words) he was the closest thing to an Atheist. Moved onto agnostic and finally his heart softened to allow Jesus in it.

Oh, the prayers I prayed for that to happen. I didn't nag my husband. And thankfully, I learned that through the Holy Spirit. All glory and honor to God.

It has been such a blessing to watch him along his faith journey.

gardenswithkids · #10 Jun 22, '12, 9:34 am

How about starting with prayers before family meals?

(Yes, I pray with my spouse for more than just Mass and meals.)

anruari · #11 Jun 22, '12, 10:21 am

I definately find that a Grace before Meals is a great way to get (back) into the habit of family prayer.
It's also the key area where my wife will initiate prayer.

Remember: if you are the Man, then you are the Spiritual Head of the house. the "priest" of the "Domestic Church" (not to be confused or mixed up with an Ordained Priest).

It is your responsibility! - But don't attempt to "Pull Rank" on your wife - that will not achieve the desired effects.

You say "she would turn her nose up at it"... it sounds like you're assuming. Have you actually asked?

I made that assumption, but when i did make the suggestion my wife was very positive!

"I really think it would be great if we could pray together as a family, and we definitely need to do this for our Son / Daughter"

I also asked her for her opinion on what prayers she would like best...
The most obvious examples are The Rosary and the Divine Office. The latter takes a bit more learning. - and is not good for praying with young kids. - but there are other traditional devotions and as others have said with very young kids even the Rosary can be too much.

Grace before Meals... If you've got kids a less formal - more child friendly prayer is good: we always used in my family

Bless us Oh God as we sit together
Bless the food we eat today,
Bless the hands that made the food,
Bless us Oh God
Amen

Bed Time Prayers:
First the sign of the cross.
Then a Glory Be..
then "God Bless Mommy... Daddy... etc for all people who matter to the little one. I've just started this with my 2 year old.
in just a couple of days he's picked up the ideal of Blessing himself and loves to be helped to do it. He proudly says "Amen" and tries his best at "Bless" (he cant get the "L" sound yet)