Should I raise my son Catholic? - Page 3

TheRealJuliane · #31 May 25, '12, 1:27 pm

Quote:

Originally Posted by youdontsay

I know what my obligation is. If I have to decide between salvation for myself or salvation for my son, I think you know the choice there. Again, I would just have to hope God can forgive me... but my primary concern is my son's soul. There is nothing any attorney can do here. She has custody every other week and thus can take him to whatever church she sees fit, that part isn't up for discussion unfortunately.

Well here's the thing...A lot of studies suggest strongly that in a dual-faith family, the children usually either follow the father's faith, or end up with no faith. You have the advantage because your son will want to be like you. So be the best Catholic dad that you can, and brook no quarter from him or your wife about him being a Protestant. He IS a Catholic and you are his father. Teach him and guide him going forward. Do as much Catholic father and son stuff as you can. Get other Catholic males into his life too. Uncles, friends, teachers, coaches. Enroll him in parochial school. Steep him in the Church and its truth. Do not even think of the alternative. Keep him on that narrow path.

JK61 · #32 May 25, '12, 1:41 pm

I constantly hear that the father attending church has a huge influence on their children's faith. What would you do on the weekends he has with you- leave him at home. You can only take care of his faith during the times you have him - do your best during that time. You can only give him the information he needs - it is his responsibility to follow the right path. Actions speak louder than words. Show him the way and hopefully he will see the love you have for the church.

TheRealJuliane · #33 May 25, '12, 1:55 pm

OP, you are acting as if your son has not been baptized, or as if the baptism is meaningless. HE IS A CATHOLIC by his baptism and he has a right to be taught his faith, as well as receive the sacraments. He is NOT a Protestant. He is not a non-denominational. Grow up him up to see the world as a Catholic. He is not left faithless while his parents divorce. He HAS a faith, you gave him one! Now teach him to love and value it!

Califman831 · #34 May 25, '12, 2:08 pm

The Catholic faith is the pure drinking water of God's salvation, why would a parent give their kid anything else.

BettyBoop416 · #35 May 25, '12, 2:38 pm

Quote:

Originally Posted by youdontsay

The terms of the divorce state I only get custody every other week, so he will be going to church with me those weeks and with her at whatever church she ends up going to the next week.

When you say that you "only get custody every other week," do you mean that you have shared custody and your son lives with you for seven out of every 14 days? Or do you mean that your ex-wife has custody and you get visitation every other week-end?

Kathryn Ann · #36 May 25, '12, 3:01 pm

Quote:

Originally Posted by BettyBoop416

When you say that you "only get custody every other week," do you mean that you have shared custody and your son lives with you for seven out of every 14 days? Or do you mean that your ex-wife has custody and you get visitation every other week-end?

Good question.

To our OP, I would say that I agree with everyone here who says that your son IS a Catholic and hope you raise him that way.

That said, what are your wife's plans on the weekends she will attend her protestant church? Can you somehow manage to

agree between the two of you that it is best for the child to attend Mass with you, and to not attend protestant services, which will be confusing?

This may have to be addressed legally, as she has deserted the Catholic faith now and may want him to attend her new church.

Your son has the grace of being baptized as a Catholic.

He is a Catholic and everything you can do to allow him, and yourself, to attend Mass together, to give him positive re-enforcement on that is extremely important.

My

heart

goes out to you as you are facing so much, but God is Great. My concern would be that your wife does not confuse your son by insisting that he attend a protestant church during those times that he is visiting with her.

If you are sharing custody or not, this is a most important issue. But you must never feel that giving up your Catholic faith will in any way help your son. Raise him Catholic, and please do all you can to ensure that your ex-wife agrees not to interfere or

confuse him.
Peace
Kathryn Ann

BlueEyedLady · #37 May 25, '12, 3:09 pm

Good luck convincing the ex wife that it's in her son's best interests that he not attend church with her.

Furthermore prenuptial agreements dealing with.the religious upbringing of children are not honored, so I sincerely doubt that a court would intervene and decide how the child should be raised when it comes to religion. That would be a huge 1st amendment violation to tell someone that they can't teach their child religion or take them to church.

mamaslo · #38 May 25, '12, 3:36 pm

Quote:

Originally Posted by TheRealJuliane

Well here's the thing...A lot of studies suggest strongly that in a dual-faith family, the children usually either follow the father's faith, or end up with no faith. You have the advantage because your son will want to be like you. So be the best Catholic dad that you can, and brook no quarter from him or your wife about him being a Protestant. He IS a Catholic and you are his father. Teach him and guide him going forward. Do as much Catholic father and son stuff as you can. Get other Catholic males into his life too. Uncles, friends, teachers, coaches. Enroll him in parochial school. Steep him in the Church and its truth. Do not even think of the alternative. Keep him on that narrow path.

See if you have a Fraternus Chapter nearby too...That is for Men and their sons.

Kathryn Ann · #39 May 25, '12, 3:42 pm

Quote:

Originally Posted by BlueEyedLady

Good luck convincing the ex wife that it's in her son's best interests that he not attend church with her.

Furthermore prenuptial agreements dealing with.the religious upbringing of children are not honored, so I sincerely doubt that a court would intervene and decide how the child should be raised when it comes to religion. That would be a huge 1st amendment violation to tell someone that they can't teach their child religion or take them to church.

Luck won't be a factor, rather God's help will be a great part of all this. That's why I hope they can come to some understanding for the sake of their son, remembering how precious is a child's soul. And most people I know do not have prenups anyway.

A Catholic pastor can often advise where courts are powerless to intervene, as the psychological and spiritual aspects of a child's upbringing are always of utmost important in custody issues. Divorce is such a challenging time for all concerned. Having been through it myself, as well as a Church annulment and re-marriage in the Catholic Church, I know God can see us all through if only we will lean on His wisdom and listen carefully to advice from loving family and friends.

The OP here seems only to want to do the very best for his son. My heart goes out to this family.

EasterJoy · #40 May 26, '12, 5:26 pm

Quote:

Originally Posted by BlueEyedLady

Good luck convincing the ex wife that it's in her son's best interests that he not attend church with her.

Furthermore prenuptial agreements dealing with.the religious upbringing of children are not honored, so I sincerely doubt that a court would intervene and decide how the child should be raised when it comes to religion. That would be a huge 1st amendment violation to tell someone that they can't teach their child religion or take them to church.

The OP can only do what he can do. It is not worthy laying awake nights worrying about things that only God or someone else controls. If he does his duty, he does not need to worry that his son's soul will be in greater danger. That would be like worrying that a child who is only fed nutritious food once in awhile is less likely to like nutritious food than the junk food they get most of the time. It doesn't work like that. Rather, even an occasional exposure to what is real and good has the chance of giving a person a "taste" for what is the best for them.